A Leadership Model for the 21st Century - Part 2

CHALLENGES OF BECOMING A SERVANT LEADER

There is no question that the primary challenge for many who are interested in becoming a servant leader is the willingness to surrender his or her power and need to control others. Suggesting that one give up power can appear very unsettling to some and even foolhardy to others. However, the paradox is that surrendering one's power over others actually fosters greater personal power because you gain greater influence and respect through empowering them. When your employees perceive you as sincerely willing to listen to their input, encouraging them to succeed, and caring about their well-being and development, they trust you and become very committed to following you. In effect, you gain tremendous credibility which is the foundation of any genuine leadership.

Notice that the words "sincerely" and "genuine" are used in the above discussion. It needs to be emphasized that the decision to become a servant leader has to originate from an inner desire to truly serve others, rather than any manipulation or ploy to motivate them to higher levels of performance. If you pursue the latter, your employees will eventually realize that your motives are not sincere and, as a result, their morale, commitment, and performance will wane, and even more tragically, your credibility as a leader will drastically suffer.

This need for sincerity in one's motives points to the broader issue of character, an indispensable attribute of servant leaders. Although far from perfect, servant leaders seek to grow in their personal character, embracing and practicing greater levels of humility, honesty, integrity, caring, authenticity, and accountability. Moreover, their ability to live out these qualities on a consistent basis will have a profoundly positive impact on the organizational culture as employees become committed to a set of shared values which then provides a strong foundation for organizational success.
It's now time to get more personal and practical in terms of assessing your leadership effectiveness. Are you ready?

ASSESSING LEADERSHIP EFFECTIVENESS

The most logical and easiest place to start in determining your current level of leadership effectiveness is to take our FREE leadership self-assessment. This 18-item assessment will give you some baseline data on how you rank on 6 key leadership dimensions as extensively researched by Laub (1998). These dimensions are:

• Providing leadership
• Sharing leadership
• Valuing people
• Developing people
• Displaying authenticity
• Building community

You are strongly encouraged to be brutally honest with yourself in your responses. After taking the self-assessment, add up your total score and enter it in the designated location. This score will reflect your leadership effectiveness within a certain range (very effective, moderately effective, or very ineffective), and will indicate to what degree you are currently practicing servant leadership principles.

Regardless of your score, it is very important to keep in mind that this score represents your own self-perception and is not necessarily indicative of how others view your leadership effectiveness. We each have our own individual blind spots, areas in which we possess little or no self-awareness due to our need to present ourselves in a favorable light and defend against unwelcomed personal truths. Therefore, in order to correct for this self-bias it is very beneficial to gather feedback from other sources who know us well in order to provide a more comprehensive and objective assessment of our leadership strengths and weaknesses.

In order to provide this more comprehensive picture, we offer the OLA 360, which is a 57-item online questionnaire developed by Dr. Jim Laub, founder of the OLA Group (OLAGroup.com). This instrument involves eliciting feedback from peers, direct reports, and supervisors on the previously mentioned 6 dimensions of effective leadership. It also assesses the extent to which the person is facilitating the development of: (1) a healthy organization; (2) a learning organization; and (3) a growing organization. The data generated from the OLA 360 can then serve as a springboard for targeting specific areas needing improvement in these dimensions.

How To Use the Results from the OLA 360
The targeting of specific areas for improvement leads to the development of what Laub (1998) calls an individual learning plan (ILP) which defines the process and time frames for measuring progress.

This process is comprised of three separate but related components:

• Training
• On-the-job experiences
• Coaching

The training can be flexible and geared toward the leader's learning needs and style, including workshops, CDs, and webinars which target specific principles of servant leadership.

The second component is on-the-job experiences. If the training is to be effective, it needs to be implemented on the job so that new learning can be integrated into real life experiences. In this regard, these on-the-job experiences need to be sufficiently challenging to afford you the opportunity to step outside your comfort zone, and begin developing new practices and habits that will foster progress as a servant leader.

The third, and very critical component, of the ILP is coaching. Because change can be very difficult and challenging, you need a leadership coach who can support, encourage, and challenge you during the change process. Moreover, coaching provides the necessary accountability which provides that extra push and motivation to sustain your momentum when the going gets tough.

In order to monitor the progress of the ILP, it is highly recommended that the OLA 360 be re-administered after a 6- to 9-month period of time. This second administration will provide you with an assessment of your improvement and determine what needs to be done as you move forward in your servant leadership journey. The option of continued coaching may also be considered in order to consolidate the gains which you've made so far.

ASSESSING ORGANIZATIONAL HEALTH

As you're experiencing progress in your own personal effort to become a servant leader, it is very likely that you will see the need to expand this change to your entire organization. However, there are obstacles! As we all know, change on a massive scale can be very daunting. Overcoming resistance to change is challenging since organizational cultures can become very entrenched and seemingly intractable. People often complain about the status quo, but then struggle with changing because it requires them to move outside their comfort zones. However, if top leadership takes the lead by confronting the cost of not changing in terms of continued turnover, stagnant productivity, low morale, or even total collapse, then the pain of maintaining the status quo can become a strong incentive for overcoming the complacency of doing nothing. If you are truly committed to fostering a servant-minded organization which seeks to develop the potential of all its members, then the undertaking is definitely worth the effort.

Although the process of transforming an entire organizational culture can be quite time consuming and require a great deal of perseverance and commitment, the potential outcomes will be staggering in terms of the impact on employee motivation and performance, customer service and satisfaction, as well as the bottom line.

Source:

Servant Leadership

A Leadership Model for the 21st Century - Part 1

COMMON PROBLEMS FACING TODAY'S LEADER

In today's fast-paced and turbulent environment, as a leader you struggle with the demands and burdens of assuming the mantle of leadership. You truly want to be a dedicated and effective leader, but you feel on the verge of burn-out as you face ongoing challenges which never seem to end. Your employees don't seem as motivated, they've lost their commitment to the larger vision, and they're not as productive as you'd like them to be. You're also tired of putting out fires and wish people would stop complaining, and just do their work.

And to make matters worse, you often feel isolated and believe that nobody really appreciates what you're going through. You ask yourself - who can I trust to share my burdens with? Where can I go for help to turn things around?

If you can relate to these issues, then I have a provocative question for you: Have you ever considered that your basic assumptions about leadership may be contributing to your struggles?
Let's examine some current leadership models and their limitations, and then propose a model that more effectively addresses the common problems confronting today's leader.

CURRENT LEADERSHIP MODELS

Our culture has no shortage of leadership theories and models. There is charismatic leadership, situational leadership, and transformational leadership to name only a few. Each theory has its own focus as to what makes for an effective leader, whether it be the sheer appeal of one's personality, the context in which leadership occurs, or the needs of the organization. In effect, they all attempt to answer the question: What leadership style must a leader adopt in order to maximize his or her effectiveness with followers? However, leadership style is really not the most fundamental issue to consider. Effective leadership has more to do with one's intentions or motives for leading. Put succinctly, the question is: Whose interests are you ultimately serving as a leader? How you answer this question determines not only your effectiveness as a leader but also the success of your organization.

THREE TYPES OF LEADERSHIP:

Autocratic
If your honest answer to the above question is: "I'm really serving my own interests," then you've likely adopted our culture's prevalent value system in which power, status, and/or wealth are the primary motivators driving one's leadership.

A leader who embraces this model of leadership is known as the autocratic leader. This type of leader uses power to coerce followers into complying with his or her own needs. In effect, the autocratic leader is a dictator who treats followers as servants. Autocratic leaders de-value and even abuse their followers which results in devastating consequences for the organization such as loss of trust, low morale, decreased productivity, suspiciousness, and fear.

We've all heard stories of leaders who abuse their power and whose organizations suffer tremendous hardship as a result. Enron, WorldCom, and Arthur Anderson are just three examples of blatant abuses of power. Autocratic-led organizations usually experience high turnover rates because workers do not feel valued or appreciated for their efforts, and they eventually burn out and leave.
Paternalistic

There is another type of leadership which is less toxic but more common in today's organizations. According to extensive research conducted by Dr. Jim Laub, Professor of Leadership Studies at Palm Beach Atlantic University, paternalistic leaders are those who view themselves as parents and their followers as children. They tend to place the needs of the organization above the needs of their employees.

Paternalistic leaders can be either nurturing or critical but what they share in common is their belief that followers are not truly adult partners in the leader-follower relationship. This type of relationship results in mere compliance rather than true internal motivation. Although willing to delegate responsibility for some tasks, paternalistic leaders retain the right to make the most important decisions for the organization. Laub's research has revealed that most of today's organizations are paternalistic in their leadership practices.

Servant
The third type of leadership is known as servant leadership. The term, initially coined by Robert Greenleaf, refers to placing the legitimate needs of followers above one's own self-interest. Servant leaders treat their followers as adults and are willing to collaborate, share their power, and commit themselves to others' growth and development. They are also willing to grant decision-making authority to followers in order to foster a deep sense of commitment and investment in the organization. Furthermore, servant leaders value and seek to foster a strong sense of community among all stakeholders within the organization.

Character development is also a priority for servant leaders as they seek to display honesty, integrity, humility, authenticity, and accountability in their personal and work relationships. They are willing to take risks to stand by their convictions and muster the needed courage to "do the right thing."

WHY SERVANT LEADERSHIP?

You may be wondering at this point how the servant leadership model is relevant to your struggles and challenges as a leader. You may be asking such questions as:

• "If I become a servant leader, how will that reduce my burden?"
• "How will servant leadership increase the morale, productivity, and commitment of my employees?"
• "How can servant leadership really work in an extremely competitive and demanding business environment which focuses on short-term results?"

These are valid questions and concerns which need to be addressed if you are to move forward in your decision to become a servant leader.

We have already discussed some of the issues which contribute to a leader's burden at the outset of this paper, but there is another one that is especially burdensome - making decisions. Although they may be accountable to a board of directors, organizational leaders are the ones who typically make the major decisions which impact the well-being and performance of their employees and staff. Even if the leader truly believes that his or her decisions are what's best for the organization, there often arises the challenge of achieving buy-in from the employees. Most leaders would agree that buy-in is critical if the organization is to achieve results and successfully implement its vision. This begs the question: "What is the best way to enlist others' buy-in and foster a strong commitment to the vision?

There is a common principle that operates in those organizations who are effective in achieving outstanding performance over the long-term. Simply stated, people are more committed to that which they've had a voice in creating. To test this principle, reflect on those experiences in your own life when you've demonstrated the most commitment. It is very likely they were ones which flowed from your own passion and initiative rather than simply because someone told you to comply with their requests or demands. When leaders value and elicit their employees' input, and then partner with them to create a shared purpose and vision, they harness the vast potential which exists among their people and unleash incredible amounts of motivation, passion, and commitment which cannot be generated merely by providing external incentives or simply telling them to "just do it."

Servant leaders recognize the value of sharing decision-making authority with front-line employees if their organizations are to truly excel. However, you may ask: "How can I be sure that the employee will make the best decision for the organization and not just pursue his or her own agenda?" Very good question! By virtue of being human, we all have a tendency to promote our own self-serving interests. However, most people also yearn to be part of something that transcends their individual efforts and will gladly commit themselves to a vision that is aligned with their own values, passions, and interests. In effect, being committed to a shared vision can greatly override this self-serving tendency and thus lead to decisions that serve the organization rather than one's own agenda. On the other hand, lack of a shared vision often leads to competing interests, political maneuverings, and lower performance among employees.

A final objection to servant leadership involves its practicality. In a business climate where beating the competition and short-term results are the primary focus, how can servant leadership really be effective? In order to answer this question, there is an underlying assumption about servant leadership which needs to be addressed. There is often the misconception that servant leaders are too soft, too lenient, and just want to make their employees feel good about themselves. This could not be further from the truth! In fact, servant leaders set the performance bar high, expecting and requiring their employees to excel in their achievement of organizational goals. The difference is in the methods servant leaders employ to attain organizational success. Rather than adopting a "push or pull" attitude in an effort to motivate employees, servant leaders seek to encourage, inspire, and develop their employees in the service of a shared vision thus creating a win-win outcome for everyone. While the carrot-and-stick approach used by autocratic and paternalistic leaders may be effective in the short-term, it requires constant monitoring and oversight to produce results. However, even then the results are not as effective due to the lack of internal motivation and commitment by employees.
Lest there be any doubt that servant leaders can be effective in a heavily competitive business climate, those organizations who embrace and implement servant leadership are some of the most successful. To cite just some examples, Southwest Airlines, Starbucks, Toro, The Container Store, Men's Wearhouse, Nordstroms, the Ritz Carlton, and TD Industries continually rank toward the top in their respective industries.

Servant leadership is not a passing fad, a "touchy-feely" approach to leadership, or merely another leadership style to be used among several options, but is a dynamic, powerful, and effective leadership model that is fast becoming the preferred choice for those leaders who truly seek to propel their organizations to world-class levels of success in the 21st. century.
We now turn to the challenges involved in becoming a servant leader.

Source:

Servant Leadership

Understanding Your True Self

All of us have different nature and temperament; our individual responses to the same situations are varied. Within our minds, we carry an impression about ourselves just like we carry about others; a variety of traits are attributed to each of us which becomes an integral part of our identity. Whether we seek to be known by those traits or whether these attributed 'traits' ring true to us or not says a lot about how aware we are about our inner self.

However, as many of us may experience, just being aware of our thought patterns and attitude may not be enough. We need sometimes to push ourselves to think harder and gain richer experiences in life just to get to the core of our being.

Life coaches and business coaches give a few tips to improve our quality of life and gain happiness by discovering our true self:

Understanding what you are

What we think about ourselves by and large reflects on what people think about us. Being conscious about 'who we are' helps realize our true potential. All of us have basic set of values which we live by. Identifying these values and living by them helps get through even the most difficult situations in life. By making a mission of discovering our real identity the purpose of our life, the meaning of life will probably be answered in the process. When we feel miserable; the cause of misery is probably not being aware what we really are. With some professional help, it is possible to discover ourselves.

Childhood conditioning

Childhood conditioning plays a major role in our response to things and situations. If we are not conscious of this fact, we might be making choices under the heavy influence of over-bearing parents or friends. However, as we grow and move away from parental influence we tend to think independently and acquire confidence. Even travelling alone helps as it provided solitude for introspection. Getting ourselves out from the mundane routine and exposing ourselves to newer experiences enables us to think differently. Putting ourselves in situations where we are forced to rely on ourselves, we learn to trust ourselves. This is possibly the surest way to becoming who we really are.

Build your self esteem

We all look for our identity as if it is lost in the first place! From a different perspective, by searching for our 'identity' we are really trying to find a solid foundation on which to build our self-esteem. Our urgency and desire to search for a fixed identity may diminish as our core self-esteem grows.
Ignore what people say about you

How can we stop caring what people think about us when we know that it is best for us not to brood over it? We probably need to realize that no matter what people think of us or how they act towards us, it has nothing to do with our real identity, but more to do with how they are feeling at a certain time or place. Not bothering about what people think is actually the best way to open ourselves to the world. It will not only help us take calculated risks but it may help us sense our core self.
Benefits of knowing your true self

Have you ever looked at a colleague and thought: "She really knows who she is, what she believes in and where she's going?" More importantly, can you say this about yourself? Sometimes, getting back to the core of 'who you are' can help your organization create a distinctive position relative to competitors. As you strengthen your foundation, your ability to make decisions and weather life's challenges will be strengthened. You will be free to know, express, develop and integrate your career and personal life.

Darwin's theory of 'Survival of the Fittest' is applicable here as much - in this shrinking world - only the strong and the wise survive. So, it is advisable to take out time to strengthen the 'muscles' of our core identity and pump up our wisdom. Develop the strength to take bold actions, not the strength to suffer.

Source

FIND OUT WHO YOU REALLY ARE. VIDEO TEST

Real Change Begins With Honest Self-Investigation

Nothing seems harder to accept than the fact that we are responsible for so much of what proves to be unnecessary suffering. But we must challenge this involuntary, often intractable refusal to consider such ideas. The truth is that we are actively involved with unseen thoughts and feelings that compromise us. Without the self-knowledge we need to nullify this conflicted condition in our psyche, how can we hope to end the heartaches that begin there? How can we hope to heal something we won't even look at!

On the other hand, nothing is healthier for us than the beautiful process of awakening to how we have been unwittingly involved in our own suffering. We stand in good company when we consent to see these truths within ourselves. All truth teachings agree: freedom from compulsive or otherwise self-wrecking behavior begins with recognizing that we have been unknowingly serving what makes us suffer. Yes, awakening to what has been an unseen conflict in us is a challenge, but this interior work of self-realization is more than offset by the rewards gained for our efforts. Here's why:
Conscious awareness of ourselves is one and the same as living in the Now. It is the seed of a new action whose flowering is a self-wholeness that is inseparable from the higher freedom we seek. Most of us have felt, somewhere along the line of our life, a silent prompting to realize the truth of ourselves, even though we may not have recognized it as such. For instance, at some point we have all felt, intuitively if nothing else, that we are not created to live with mental torment of any kind -- that we are meant to be more than hapless victims forced to yield to passing conditions. This is a true intuition.

We are not made by that Great Intelligence that balances whole star systems, to suffer from the conflict that arises from an unbalanced understanding of our own essential nature! This is why if we ever wish to gain conscious control over our present nature -- along with what it attracts into our life -- we must gain what the great saints and mystics have always held in the highest esteem: true self-knowledge. But this needed higher knowledge cannot be acquired from sources outside of us; it must be gained through personal self-discovery. Only real changes in the level of self-understanding can help us effect real changes in our present nature, for the two are very much related. Change one and we change the other, including what it has been attracting into our lives.

Source

How Do You Get To Know Yourself Fully?

Self Understanding, The First Step to Understanding Others

Some years ago I ran into a small study booklet titled, "Self Understanding, the First Step to Understanding Others". The book left a favorable impression on me. Ever since I have been struggling with the theme of self understanding. I pursued the topic at the graduate student level and presented a Master's Degree thesis titled, " The Interpersonal Dimension of Communicating the Gospel". I was the Pastor of a Christian Church at the time. I received the degree along with the interesting comment by the professor that the theme was a bit unusual! Indeed! Nonetheless, the topic of understanding interpersonal communication at any level and in a variety of settings both personal and professional remains to this day.

How to communicate with others, how to frame, verbalize conversation so that sharing thoughts, emotions and consequent behavior result in understanding each other remains quite a challenge. Yes, I can agree just to be agreeable. I can nod, smile, frown, contradict all I want, the matter of experiencing understanding of another is fraught with many peaks and valleys. To this day! But I try and will continue otherwise I wouldn't be writing this post.
 
A few clarifications on the topic. I well know that many would consider the topic very self centered, egotistical and undesirable. Always thinking about himself. His center of the universe is himself which revolves around his wants, wishes and desires. On the other hand, I am talking about self awareness which means self knowledge that what I do and say and behave is desirable to be a good citizen, a useful and productive personality. Furthermore, it compels me to take responsibility for my entire being. And that is quite a responsibility for any one. It is especially relevant in this day and age where placing blame on others is quite popular in both personal and political discourse.

Self awareness suggests a good look in the mirror to own up to how I operate, my attitudes, inclinations hopes and dreams fears and anxieties. This permits me to live my days in a useful and productive manner. I recognize what is commonly called either positive or negative attributes. For example, if I look for the bad in others, I will find it. I if need to be critical of others I can find things to criticize. No problem. If, on the other hand, I chose to look for the good, the positive qualities in others I can find that too.

But the bottom line, I must first look at myself and be a critic of my attitudes, behavior and not chronically look at what is wrong with others. This is the foundation when seeking professional help in relationships whether marriage, family or professional. The inclination is to blame another for any problems rather than seek to understand in what way the client is relating to another. It is not a matter of what is wrong with them, it is what is wrong about me. In fact, it can also be a matter of what is right as well. But it begins with the "I" in things.

Source

Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets to Human Behavior.

Keys to Understanding Yourself

Self-awareness is a great thing. It teaches us about how are are in the world and about how we interact with everything and everyone one we come in contact with. The self-knowledge we gain can be incredible. However, self-awareness has to be turned into self-knowledge or it is of little use to us. If not taken this next step it only sits on a shelf in our sub-conscious and waits for us to need it and call it back into consciousness, if we ever have a need for it that is. What do we have to do to create real understanding?

We can used some tools that are designed to help us really understand ourselves and then we have to take the next step about deciding what to do about what we have learned. But first things first. What are a couple of tools that will help us gain that self-understanding? Here are two that I think are outstanding:

Mirroring. Someone once said that everything is a mirror. That is very true and we can learn a lot by paying attention. One example is to pay attention to how people treat us. They will mirror to us how we teach them to respond to us. For instance, if people are taking advantage of you then you are doing something that tells them that it is not only alright to treat you that way but that it is what you want and expect. Think about that. What might you be doing that would give them that message? Another example might be that you find that people don't have time for you. You might be sending them the message that you don't think you are worthy of their time. What could you be doing that would send them that message? Be aware and you will get your own thoughts and beliefs mirrored back to you. That will give you a very good understanding of how you show up in the world. 

 

 

Journaling. Writing in a guided journal is another great way to learn a lot about yourself. A guided journal has starter sentences or topics at the top of each page. You are suppose to respond to those starters with your own thoughts about them. When you go back and read your journal entries you begin to see trends, themes, attitudes and beliefs pop out at you. It is up to you to decide what to do about them and good guided journals give you space to do that. A great guided journal to use is The Discovery Journal available at lulu.com. It will guide you through a wide range of self-awareness topics.

 

 

 

Try these two tools and see what you come up with. Turn the things you learn into action steps to create the person you want to be.

Source

How Well Do You Really Know Yourself?

The Importance of Self Knowledge

What is Self Knowledge?

Self knowledge is knowing yourself intimately. It involves knowing your thoughts and feelings, how they came about, and how they influence your behavior. It is about understanding your needs, desires, motivations, beliefs, views and values. In short, it is about knowing how you tick and what makes you tick.

The tool for self knowledge is introspection, a looking within that focuses our attention on our thoughts, how they arise and disappear. This is best done in a quiet environment where you have time to watch and analyze your own thoughts. A busy life does not exclude this possibility of introspection or self reflection but it does make it less likely that you will do so. Furthermore, it is more difficult to watch a busy mind that runs and jumps everywhere like a monkey in a cage.

Why is self knowledge important?

Self knowledge is important because it helps you to understand yourself better. Through better self understanding, you are more able to be in control of your own life. You can then make life happens for you rather than have life happens to you.

It also helps you to find answer to the more insightful and spiritual question - "Who am I?"

Through self knowledge, we are in a better position to understand the outer physical universe as well as the inner metaphysical world within us, and to see how our mind becomes the interface for both experiences. We now know that the meanings we place on the "realities" of life have a greater effect on the quality of our human experience than the "realities" themselves. Thus, we can change the quality of our life simply by changing the way we think and view the world around us. We can become happier simply by changing ourselves, without changing the world. Paradoxically, when we do change ourselves, the world around us changes as well, as if on its own.

We live in a participatory universe where our thoughts and beliefs are very real "things" that affect the world around us. It is as if the content of our inner mind is reflected out into the physical world. This is how we create our own destiny. This is the understanding that will stop us from becoming a victim of circumstances, and instead become the master of our own destiny. This is the occult lesson in the ancient teachings of Hermes, in one of his seven spiritual laws. This spiritual law, called the Law of Correspondence, says "As Above, So Below. As Within, So Without".

This is a key lesson in self understanding, in knowing that we create our own lives and that we are fully and completely responsible for what we create - consciously AND unconsciously. It is extremely empowering to realize that whatever we create we can re-create, thus we are never a victim of circumstances. It is always within our power to change our lives.

Self knowledge allows us to recognize our error in thinking and to correct it. It is therefore the mean to a better and more fulfilling life - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Source

Self-Awareness: Know Yourself: Gary Vaynerchuk

Beyond Strengths and Weaknesses

Last week I spoke with a client who was struggling with his business development activity.  Nate (as usual, the name and identifying details have been changed to protect his privacy) had experienced great success in converting acquaintances who heard him talk about the kind of matters he handles into clients, and he decided that if speaking casually to small groups works well, speaking formally to large groups would deliver even better results.

As it turns out, though Nate is a spellbinding speaker in small, informal groups, something happens when he steps onto a stage.  Nate transforms from an assured, confident, knowledgeable lawyer who can chat at length about his clients' legal issues and possible solutions into a stiff academician who says "therefore" and "whereof" entirely too much.  He becomes (I hate to say it, but I've seen it firsthand) dull.  When he speaks to large groups, nothing good comes of it.  The audience gets restless, and no one calls Nate for help afterward.

This isn't news to Nate.  I gently broached the subject after I saw him speak, and before I got very far, he beat me to the punch - sort of: "I know, I know, I was a terrible speaker last time.  But I've figured it out, and the crowd next week is a new group of people, and this time, I'm going to impress them!"  Nate recognizes that speaking to large groups is not his strength, and yet he continues to use that approach, thinking each time that he'll finally nail the presentation.

The problem is that we tend to talk about strengths and weaknesses as if a weakness is just an undeveloped strength.  Not so.  Sometimes, a weakness is an inability, pure and simple, that can be corrected only by bringing in assistance from another resource.  Here's what I explained to Nate (with thanks to Don Blohowiak, a coaching colleague who shared this useful framework):

• Potential refers to your native capabilities than can be (but have not yet been) developed.

• Strengths refer to the capabilities that you execute competently to masterfully.

• Limitations refer to the capabilities that you have in short supply.  Some limitations can be developed, and others will require replacement from another source.

• Absences refer to the capabilities that you simply don't have.  There is no shame in lacking capabilities.  No one has all of the capabilities possible.  Instead, the task is to find someone whose capabilities are complementary to your absences.  (If, for instance, you are leading a client service team and complex accounting is an important part of the matter, if you lack masterful accounting skills, you must find someone who can bring that competency to the team.)

• Weaknesses refer to the capabilities that you pretend to have but cannot actually execute.

Using this model, Nate's speaking to a large audience is a weakness (as he recognized) but because he pretended that he could correct it, the weakness could not be eliminated.  Nate was failing at business development because he was leading from a weakness and pretending it was a strength.

Review your business development plan, your professional development plan, your career strategy plan - any plan at all that reflects your goals - and ask these questions:

• What are my strengths?
• How are my strengths reflected in my plan?
• How can I develop my potential so I can deploy those capabilities in my plan?
• What weaknesses am I denying?
• Do my priorities coincide with my strengths?

If, like Nate, you lead from weakness, you will produce only frustration.  Spend some time in honest self-reflection and look for opportunities to shift what you're doing based on your natural and developed capabilities.  And, if (like Nate) you find that you've been pretending that you are developing your weaknesses, stop pretending.  Shift your approach.

Source:

Motivational Video, anti racial and Unity is strength, Corruption

It only takes the vision of one individual to make things better for everyone!

Leaders Must Know Their Strengths And Weaknesses

Nobody is an expert in all areas. In over thirty years of working closely with, advising and consulting to well over a thousand leaders, I have come to realize that we often want to believe that our leaders possess prowess regarding everything, while the reality is quite different. Each leader I have ever come into contact with possessed certain strengths, as well as certain weaknesses, although some had more strengths than others.

Those leaders who wish to maximize their abilities must first realistically evaluate them, so as to fully understand what their capabilities personally are, and in which areas they must reach out to others for assistance and/ or guidance. Just as we should evaluate the strengths and weaknesses (also known as pros and cons) of any large purchase, such as a car or home, we should do the same when it comes to self- evaluation.


1. I recommend that the first thing someone do is to actually put these things on paper. First, place a line down the middle of the paper, one side for your strengths and the other side for weaknesses. The most essential first step is to commit to being completely honest with yourself. This means you'll have to look at yourself as if someone else was doing the evaluating, or as you might evaluate someone else.

2. This procedure must be done by category or trait, for both strengths and weaknesses. These traits include, but are not limited to: integrity; commitment; vision; goals; taking action; inner strength/ fortitude; communication skills, including oral, written, etc., but also including your willingness to communicate openly and fully; organizational skills; decision making skills and abilities; willingness to expand one's comfort zone; empathy; commitment to expanded training and learning; open- mindedness and ability to in a non- judgmental manner evaluate alternatives; creating an agenda; and caring. Although these are by no means all the characteristics and traits that go into be a top leader, self- evaluation of these is certainly an excellent first step.

3. What are you willing to do, and what will you do, to address those areas where you are not your strongest? Obviously, attaining additional training, and learning well to gain the expertise that will provide you with the knowledge to act wisely an in a timely manner, is a good beginning. However, those that wish to become elite leaders must formulate a small but extremely valuable "inner circle" of advisers, to advise you in your weaker areas, as well as acting as a sounding board in those stronger areas. Leaders must beware that when they select advisers, they should use the same type of strengths versus weaknesses format, because these advisers only provide value when they are also open- minded, with no personal agenda, and are also fully committed to the well being of the organization.

It is sometimes difficult to be an introspective leader, but it is also quite beneficial and essential. Commit to knowing yourself better if you truly are committed to being an effective and successful leader.

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The Weakness of Strength

3 Steps To Use Your Strengths and Weaknesses To Improve Your Performance

Step 1: Stop focusing on weaknesses

Focusing on weaknesses will set you on a downward spiral. It will lower your self-esteem, blur your vision, it might even get you focused in the wrong direction.
The truth is, you will never be perfect. You will always have weaknesses that will accompany you throughout your life. Should you completely forget about them? Absolutely not! Understanding what your weaknesses are helps you plan ahead, hire the right team, because where you are weak, somebody else might excel.

One of the reasons why people are doing what they're not good at is because they focus too much on their weaknesses.

Let's say that Larry is a business owner and he resists the systems. His way of dealing with problems is to avoid them and create shortcuts. But as an entrepreneur his business can't run without proper systems. Larry has a decision to make. He can either force himself to do what he's not good at and create lots of stress in his business and life by focusing on this task, or he can hire somebody who will thrive in this area while he focuses on his unique expertise.

Both options will cost him. First one will cost him his time, energy and probably well-being. Second option will cost him money. The question remains - how valuable his time, energy and well-being are to Larry.

Today I challenge you to stop focusing on your weaknesses and shift your perspective. Accept the fact that you will never be perfect and step on the road toward your life purpose. All it takes is a decision.

Step 2: Understand your strengths

One of the side-effects of focusing on weaknesses is loss of perspective. Most of the time weaknesses will block your view and cause you to not see your real strengths.
Is it possible that who you are is totally fine and you don't have to "fix" yourself to improve your performance? I strongly believe that the reason why you're not seeing the results you want is not because you need to strengthen your weak spots, but because you're not strengthening your strong spots!

Ask yourself these questions...
What am I good at?
What are my core strengths?
Where should my focus be?

Couple years ago I've learned what my core strengths are. It took me couple years to understand how ground breaking this information is, but once I did, my life was never the same. Suddenly I knew that no matter how much I want to do something or how much I know about something, there are things I will or will not do. I've learned that by being myself I will be able to not only do my best job, but to also avoid wasting my energy on tasks that can (and should) be delegated.

I invite you to take yet another step today. Click here to schedule a Freedom To Be You consultation with me to discover your core strengths and...

Step 3: Maximize your potential 

If you study the top performers out there, you'll notice that they have one thing in common. They're maximizing their potential in the area of their focus. They're not trying to be everything to everybody. And they don't pretend to know it all. So why should you?

Once you turn your focus away from your weaknesses and start discovering your core strengths, your next step should be to focus on expanding your strengths and maximizing your potential.
How do you do that? I wish the answer was as simple as 1-2-3, but it's not. Still, here are couple tips that might be helpful to you as you walk this life-long journey...

Think in terms of progress, not perfection. Life is about constant improvement. Take it easy, yet, challenge yourself.

Compare your performance on a weekly, monthly and annual basis. You've heard me right. When you need to compare, you compare your performance with your own, not somebody else's.

Ask for help. It's important to remember that nobody does anything great alone. You can't succeed alone. What makes a difference is a caliber of people you surround yourself with.

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The Mind - Motivational Video

What Are Your Strengths And Weaknesses? How Answering These Questions Can Help You Achieve Happiness

Often, especially when we're interviewing for a new job, we are asked "what are your strengths and weaknesses?" Some of us have an easy time figuring out what our strengths are; others have an easier time identifying their weaknesses. Whatever category you fall into, knowing who you are helps us discover our strengths and weaknesses, and how to re-enforce our strengths and mitigate or eliminate our weaknesses.

In order to find out what your strengths truly are, look at your talents. Are you a good chef, or a musician? What about an athlete or a good friend? What we often call as "talents" are actually titles that surround our talents. If we look at these titles you can discover the true underlying talents. For example, what denotes a good friend? Loyalty, compassion, and trustworthiness, are just some of the traits that I would use to define the qualities of a good friend. What makes a good chef? Their creativity, fearlessness, and passion are all things that come to mind when I think of good chefs. These adjectives are all strengths that when combined define the title of our talents.

Our weaknesses can be found in the areas of our life that inhibit us from achieving our goals. One seemingly positive weakness that many people have is that they're people pleasers. They will take on too much work in attempts to please others, which results in our inability to finish our work or an inability to produce the quality of work we typically produce. Another common weakness is procrastination. Many people today suffer from procrastination due to the ease of surfing the internet. There are even shortcuts built into computer systems that allow us to easily maneuver between windows allowing us to quickly hide the fact that we were just online instead of writing a report when our boss walks by.

Now that we know the answer to "what are your strengths and weaknesses?" We can now go about trying to figure out the best way of utilizing our strengths and either eliminating or mitigating our weaknesses. After identifying our strengths, we need to go about finding the best way for them to be utilized in our given profession, or in the various professions we are interested in pursuing. If one of your strengths is actually a trait that would not be accommodating to the job you're applying for or currently working, chances are you're not happy with where your professional life.

To mitigate or eliminate your weaknesses you're going to have to first acknowledge that they are in fact weaknesses, and second be dedicated to either mitigate them or eliminate them completely. For example if you're a people pleaser you're most likely going to want to mitigate this weakness so it doesn't impair the quality of your life or work you produce, but you still want to be able to please your boss or your significant other. Procrastination on the other hand is going to be one of those weaknesses you're going to want to eliminate. If you can't help surfing the internet instead of doing the work expected of you, you need to be disciplined and not even open up the web browser if possible. Eliminating the temptation to procrastinate often helps us in training ourselves how to be productive.

Ultimately in the end we really want to be able to answer the question " what are your strengths and weaknesses?" because it helps us understand who we are and what we should be doing with our lives that will bring us the greatest joy, happiness, and fulfillment. In the end, happiness is really what everyone is looking for, and you can only be happy once you know who you are, and take responsibility for your life by accepting all your strengths and weaknesses.

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How to Dominate Self Awareness - Know your Strengths and Weaknesses faster

How to Learn About Your Strengths and Weaknesses

The key to professional development and leadership capability begins with the Greek maxim: know thyself. It's lack of self knowledge - either grossly overestimating our abilities (one piece of research surveying 11,000 people found 33% of leaders overestimated their leadership ability) or profoundly underestimating what we are capable of (how many people do you know with chronically low self-esteem?) - that leads to failure.

Here are five techniques for KNOWING YOURSELF even better. They are an excellent smorgasbord to be used in a coaching situation or to be drawn out in an appraisal discussion as the manager helps the employee get to grips with self-development.

1) Get 360° feedback -

From family, friends, peers, subordinates, bosses, customers, suppliers - anyone who gives quality feedback. Getting quality feedback is arguably the single most important thing you can do to improve yourself. In America they have the expression, 'Feedback is the breakfast of champions'. So the question becomes: where will you get good feedback?

A good idea is for you to list the people you know, like and trust - who can help? When and how will you ask them?

2) Test yourself using psychological profiles and other valid and objective insights:

For example, Learning style profile (Kolb), Team style profiles (Belbin), Personality style profiles (Myers-Briggs), Motivational style profiles (Motivational Maps) etc. The named tools in brackets are just examples - there are others. By identifying your strengths and weaknesses here, you can then go to work on them by creating a plan.

What profiles will you complete? What will you do with them when they are done? A key task is to compare the type of person you are with the type of work you do - is there a fit?

3) Review your own life in detail:

What you have done speaks volumes about the real you, not the imaginary you - the false you that you have inadvertently constructed over time. What patterns emerge? Keep a diary or journal.

When will you start your journal? A key issue in building self-esteem is to log 3 achievements per day and then review your week and month regularly. This builds a portfolio of evidence that becomes believable to the subconscious mind - yours!

4) Stretch yourself by going out of the comfort zone:

Do things that that drive you to your limits. Children do this all the time - they sing in public for the first time, they undertake complex work, they go on some adventure trek - and as a result they grow at a tremendous rate.

What activity or learning will you undertake? Going out of the comfort zone is not to be confused with doing bizarre and dangerous things just because they are there, or because others do them. Find something - and often it is something you wanted to do as a child but never had the time - that really you'd feel proud of if you did it.

5) Use your imagination -

Daydream - ask 'what if?' - visualise yourself with knowledge, skills, talents that appeal to you. By focusing your mind on what you want or even on finding what you want, a powerful force is unleashed.

When will you visualise your possibilities? How? Under what conditions? The power of the imagination is virtually unlimited - everything that is came into existence via the imagination - it was seen in the mind's eye before it was 'created' literally or physically. Thus the more time is spent imaging ideal realities, the more likely it is that that reality will come to pass. It is important that when using visualisation and imaging techniques that we stay in a relaxed state of mind. A key extra point here is that if you have never experienced relaxation techniques before, the most well known being meditation, then I strongly recommend you find a teacher first to get you on your way.

So, we have it then: five techniques that will certainly boost your self-awareness, your understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and which if appropriated - your choice - could make a major difference to the outcomes of your life. The added bonus is: they are all fun because learning is fun!

Have a go.

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Big Keith's Appraisal - The Office - BBC

This is an hilarious example of being completely self aware in the wrong way!!

10 Ways to Enhance Your Listening Skills

Do you prefer talking to listening?
Do you consider yourself a good listener or a poor one?
Do you like to enhance your listening skills?

If your answer is yes to at least one of the questions above, I have good news for you. The good news is that in this article you will learn 10 ways to enhance your listening skills. Are you ready to learn these ten ways and apply them in your day to day interactions with people? Great!

Believe it or not, most of us like talking more than listening because we find it easier, because we have been schooled in speaking, reading, and writing but not much in listening. But remember we have been given two ears and one tongue, so we should listen twice as much as we talk!

I have a 4 year-old daughter and she knows exactly whether I am listening to her or not. When I am not, she comes closer to me, takes my head into her little hands, and makes me have eye contact with her while she is talking. So, when small children understand whether we are listening to them or not, how can't our colleagues, employees, customers, supervisors, and friends recognize that?

Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. Effective listening is an art. It will help you understand another person's thoughts, feelings and actions. When you listen to another person attentively and emphatically, you will create a bond between the two of you, which will promote the relationship. Therefore, it is really important to improve our listening skills in order to be able to receive the maximum benefit from whoever talks to us no matter on which topic they talk about.
Following are ten ways that can help you become more effective listeners:

Control Your Mind

We think four times faster than we talk. That is why when someone is talking to us our mind may race ahead and as a result we get off track and lose our connection with the speaker. For instance when the speaker says "Mexico", the listener may start thinking about Mexico and imagine himself or herself in Mexico or remember his/her experience related to Mexico without even listening to what the speaker wanted to say about Mexico.

In order to resolve this issue, you need to control your mind. When you find your mind racing during someone's speech/talk, stop, pause, get on track, and relate your own experience with the speaker's presentation. Although controlling your mind is not easy at the beginning, by practice you can gradually become better and better in following what the speaker is saying.

Be Patient and Concentrate

To become more effective in listening you need to be patient and concentrate on what the other person is saying. Don't try to finish the other person's sentence or come to conclusion without listening patiently to the whole story. To concentrate on what the other person is saying, don't attempt to listen to other things at the same time. Also don't do other things (e.g. working with computer, watching TV, reading book) while listening to the speaker.

Show that You Are Listening

Leaning forward, having facial expressions, making eye contact, and nodding your head are among the most effective ways to show the speaker that you are listening to him/her. When you show that you are listening, the speaker will connect with you better and he/she will also listen to you effectively when it is your turn to talk.

Don't Make Assumptions

We normally tend to make assumptions when we hear somebody talk. We may say things like "I've heard him before", "he doesn't have anything new to say", "she is always boring", etc. are assumptions that we make when someone wants to talk to us and as a result we choose not to listen to them effectively. By making no assumptions, we would welcome the speaker and be able to listen to him/her more effectively and openly.

Decide to Learn Something

When you choose to learn something from anyone whom you listen to, you condition your mind to focus and search for something to learn. We all can learn at least one point from anyone's speech if we want to.

Act as an Evaluator

When we want to evaluate someone's talk, we tend to listen more attentively in order to notice the positive points as well as the points for improvement. Therefore, when you listen to someone act as an evaluator.

Take Notes

Taking notes while listening to someone is also one of the effective ways to show your interest in the speaker. Just remember to still make eye contact with the speaker occasionally so that they know that you are actually paying attention to what they are saying.

Reduce Noise and Distractions

Many times distractions such as noisy conditions, someone passing by, music playing in the background, TV on, etc. impact the efficiency of our listening. As such, we may not be able understand what exactly the other person is saying. By reducing noise and distractions we can become more present and listen more effectively to the speaker.

Paraphrase What You Hear

By paraphrasing what you hear, you make sure that you have understood what you have heard. You also show that you have interest in what the speaker is sharing with you.

Don't Interrupt

Since we think faster than we talk, many times we tend to interrupt the speaker in order to make our point or tell them what we think before we forget that. Interrupting someone who is talking to you means that you are not actually listening to them. By letting the speakers finish what they have to say you show your respect toward them.

In summary, a key to good listening is not only hearing, but also understanding what you have heard. Good listening requires as much energy as does speaking. As a Chinese proverb says, "To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation". So by actively and effectively listening to others tell them that you care.
Happy Listening!

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Effective Listening Skills

How To Turn Your Voice Into A Powerful Asset

Have you ever been to a meeting, seminar or a workshop where the speaker is so monotonous that you just want to run away from that room? You keep looking at your watch again and again hoping and praying for a break? You are sitting there physically but your mind has drifted to thousands of other places? And even though the speaker is sharing great content, you find it extremely hard to sit through the talk? I am quite sure you have been to at least one such meeting, seminar or workshop. But have you ever wondered why you felt so tortured? Well! You felt tortured because, how a speaker sounds is as important as what he says! In fact, it takes a very pleasant voice to bring a speaker's words to life.

A Duke University study found that CEO's with lower-pitched voices ran larger companies, earned more money, and held onto their jobs longer. And that is why business executives, celebrities, and politicians often work with vocal coaches! But what about you, what if you too wish to develop your voice but have neither the time nor the money to work with a coach? What can you possibly do to speak more dynamically in your one-to-one interactions and group addresses?

Don't worry! There is an easy and practical solution. Implement these simple suggestions and you will most certainly be able turn your voice into a powerful asset and speak more dynamically.

Take Care Of Your Voice

1. Breathe from the stomach. Breathing from your diaphragm instead of your chest will help you in projecting your voice better and give you more confidence. At the same time, relaxing your mouth and throat will give you greater control on your voice tonality.

2. Develop character in your voice. Humming is an easy way to warm up your voice. The lower you go into your chest, the more powerful you will sound. If you practice humming in deeper tones, it will create grains in your voice that will eventually give your voice a unique character!

3. Never strain your voice. Rest your voice if you find that you have overdone it by talking too long or too loudly. Sleep is the best remedy to heal a sore throat. When suffering from a bad throat, cough gently when you need to clear your throat. Keep irritants like alcohol, smoke, and dairy products to a minimum.

4. Pace your words. Rapid speech is great if you are a commentator. Otherwise, try breaking your thoughts down into phrases, just long enough so that you can say them comfortably with a single exhale.

Create Connection With The Audience

1. Look for the friendly faces. If crowds make you nervous, scan the room for individuals who are smiling and making eye contact. Imagine you are talking directly with them.

2. Tell a story that makes a point. It is easier to get your message across when you use interesting and memorable stories. When you are enjoying your own tales, your enthusiasm shines through and you can easily lead the audience to where you wish to take them.

3. Interact with the audience. Great speakers also know how to encourage conversation within the audience. And once the conversation is initiated they listen deeply to facilitate further interaction. Showing up early and interacting with the audience can build rapport and give you a great start even before you get up to speak.

4. Share great content. While you are working on the technical aspects of your voice and performance, keep your purpose in mind. What do you want to share with others? How can they benefit from what you have to say?

Extra Tips For Speaking Dynamically

1. Practice regularly. Voice training is like any other skill and it will take time plus effort to build. Continuously work towards enhancing your performance. Record yourself when practicing, so you can identify your natural strengths as well as areas you need to work on.

2. Model the popular speakers. See how presidents, newscasters and TV anchors engage their listeners. Watch videos, listen to podcasts, and read transcripts. Take notes about ideas you want to borrow and build on. Adapt their lessons to suit your own style.

3. Avoid meaningless fillers. Too many "ums" and "uhs" can undermine you credibility. Plan the transitions so you won't be fumbling for what to say next. If you need a second to reflect, try pausing instead of filling the gap with meaningless language. Tuning out internal and external distractions can also help you stay on track.

4. Be mindful of your body language. Mastering nonverbal communication will reinforce the positive impression your voice makes. Stand up straight so you look open and relaxed. Ground yourself on stage so you look confident. Use gestures to emphasize key points and keep things lively. Use the entire space to move around and speak, don't get stuck at one point on the stage!

5. Recognize your feelings and allow yourself to feel. Even movie stars and self-help gurus can have stage frights. When you are feeling anxious about addressing a group, accept your feelings and transform them into positive excitement. Take the focus off yourself and concentrate on how to help others.

Making the most of your own natural voice will help you communicate your ideas more effectively and efficiently. It will help you be the catalyst that transforms lives. But there is one more thing you need to remember before you get started. Keep your content short and simple! In the words of Winston S. Churchill, "A good speech should be like a woman's skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest."

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