Keys to Understanding Yourself

Self-awareness is a great thing. It teaches us about how are are in the world and about how we interact with everything and everyone one we come in contact with. The self-knowledge we gain can be incredible. However, self-awareness has to be turned into self-knowledge or it is of little use to us. If not taken this next step it only sits on a shelf in our sub-conscious and waits for us to need it and call it back into consciousness, if we ever have a need for it that is. What do we have to do to create real understanding?

We can used some tools that are designed to help us really understand ourselves and then we have to take the next step about deciding what to do about what we have learned. But first things first. What are a couple of tools that will help us gain that self-understanding? Here are two that I think are outstanding:

Mirroring. Someone once said that everything is a mirror. That is very true and we can learn a lot by paying attention. One example is to pay attention to how people treat us. They will mirror to us how we teach them to respond to us. For instance, if people are taking advantage of you then you are doing something that tells them that it is not only alright to treat you that way but that it is what you want and expect. Think about that. What might you be doing that would give them that message? Another example might be that you find that people don't have time for you. You might be sending them the message that you don't think you are worthy of their time. What could you be doing that would send them that message? Be aware and you will get your own thoughts and beliefs mirrored back to you. That will give you a very good understanding of how you show up in the world. 

 

 

Journaling. Writing in a guided journal is another great way to learn a lot about yourself. A guided journal has starter sentences or topics at the top of each page. You are suppose to respond to those starters with your own thoughts about them. When you go back and read your journal entries you begin to see trends, themes, attitudes and beliefs pop out at you. It is up to you to decide what to do about them and good guided journals give you space to do that. A great guided journal to use is The Discovery Journal available at lulu.com. It will guide you through a wide range of self-awareness topics.

 

 

 

Try these two tools and see what you come up with. Turn the things you learn into action steps to create the person you want to be.

Source

A guide to effective communcation

How to Get What You Want in 2017

It is almost 2017 and time to start thinking about those New Year's resolutions but the problem with New Year's resolutions is that so few people actually achieve them. Why is this and what can you do to make sure you actually get what you want in 2017?

1. Write Down Your New Year's Resolutions and Set SMART goals
The first step towards achieving what you want is to actually write it down and turn resolutions into goals. An unwritten resolution is quickly forgotten and unless you have some written, specific goals chances are you are just going to be wandering. SMART goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. In other words, say exactly what you want to achieve, by when and have ways of measuring how you are getting along.

2. Develop Habits and Consistency
Another problem that often occurs with New Year's resolutions is that people do not form habits and develop consistency in those actions that are going to get them there. For instance, if you want to lose weight, it needs to become a habit to exercise and eat healthy foods. They say it takes 21 days to develop a habit but it is actually better to consistently stick to it for 63 days to ensure that the habit is well entrenched into your lifestyle before taking any breaks. Not all habits need to be done every day but you do need to be consistent in doing those things that will get you towards your goal.

3. Track and Measure
Set smaller goals and ways of measuring how you are making progress towards your major goal and then track these. Start by tracking those habits that it will take to get you there - how many times have you exercised this week for example. As you are tracking you will see how even the small steps count and will be more motivated to keep moving towards your major goal.

4. Stay Positive
Your mindset has a huge role to play in whether you are going to achieve your goals or not. Always try to remain positive and think positively. Focus on what it is you want but don't beat yourself up over setbacks or slip ups, you will get times where things don't go perfectly or you may have a setback but just keep going and you will get there.

Instead of just setting some New Year's Resolutions for this next year why not turn them into actionable goals, develop habits that will help you achieve them and track these consistently. Keep positive and all the best for achieving whatever it is you want to achieve in 2017.

Source

6 Actions You Can Take Every Day to Build Your Self-Confidence

Even the greatest leaders lack self-confidence at certain times. Self-confidence is not a static quality; rather, it’s a mindset that takes effort to maintain when the going gets rough. It must be learned, practiced and mastered just like any other skill. But once you master it, you will be changed for the better.

Here are six effective ways to promote your own self-confidence.

1. Act the part.

Your body language can instantly demonstrate self-assuredness, or it can scream insecurity. Present yourself in a way that says you are ready to master or take command of any situation. If you look confident and act the part you aspire to reach, you’ll not only feel in control, people will have much more confidence in you as well.

Hold your head high, sit up straight, gently bring your shoulders back to align your spine and look directly at the other person when interacting. Avoid a limp handshake and maintain good eye contact while someone is speaking to you.

2. Dress the part.

When you look better, you feel better. If you choose clothing and accessories that fit you well, suit your industry and lifestyle, and make you feel good, this will automatically increase your self-esteem. Look like the part you want to play, or in other words, suit up for success. Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine in your accessories. Bold jewelry or a colorful tie can be a focal point and a good conversation starter.

3. Speak assertively.

The next time you listen to your favorite speaker, be mindful of the way he or she delivers a speech. A great speaker speaks confidently, in a steady, rhythmic tone. Instead of the “ums” and “ahs” that interrupt flow, they use pauses to emphasize ideas.

Adopt an assertive, but not aggressive, way of speaking that indicates your self-confidence. You will feel your self-esteem begin to rise. To be taken seriously, avoid high-pitched, nervous chatter or twittering giggles in your speech. People will listen to you more attentively when they see the leader radiate from within you.

4. Think and act positively.

Positive energy leads to positive outcomes, so set your mind to the can-do side of any situation, avoiding the negative self-talk that can make you feel less confident. Smile, laugh and surround yourself with happy, positive people. You’ll feel better and the people with whom you work will enjoy your company.
 

Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the high points of your day and your accomplishments. You will develop more peace and confidence when you are in a grateful state of mind.

5. Take action.

There’s more to being confident than just how you look. You must act the part. Walk up to a stranger at a networking event, or accept a project you’d normally reject. Practice being self-confident and soon it will become second nature.

 
Inaction breeds doubt and fear, while action breeds confidence and courage. As an exercise, jot down your strengths and weaknesses. Most people will tell you to work on your weaknesses, but use what you've got and capitalize on your strengths instead. Once you put more energy into your positive traits, your confidence will start to shine through.

6. Be prepared.

Remember the five P’s: Prior planning prevents poor performance. The more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll feel about your expertise and competency. Preparation will help you avoid getting tripped up by life’s unexpected glitches.

Learn everything you can about your industry, your subject matter, your goals and what drives you towards success. Before you start a task, first imagine how you want to feel once you’ve completed it. Don’t try to accomplish too much at once. Break complex tasks up into small, bite-size, manageable pieces.

As U.S. Army General Creighton Williams Abrams Jr. once said, “When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.” If you have patience and perseverance, you are only steps away from a more confident you.


Source