Some years ago I ran into a small study booklet titled, "Self
Understanding, the First Step to Understanding Others". The book left a
favorable impression on me. Ever since I have been struggling with the
theme of self understanding. I pursued the topic at the graduate student
level and presented a Master's Degree thesis titled, " The
Interpersonal Dimension of Communicating the Gospel". I was the Pastor
of a Christian Church at the time. I received the degree along with the
interesting comment by the professor that the theme was a bit unusual!
Indeed! Nonetheless, the topic of understanding interpersonal
communication at any level and in a variety of settings both personal
and professional remains to this day.
How to communicate with others, how to frame, verbalize conversation so that sharing thoughts, emotions and consequent behavior result in understanding each other remains quite a challenge. Yes, I can agree just to be agreeable. I can nod, smile, frown, contradict all I want, the matter of experiencing understanding of another is fraught with many peaks and valleys. To this day! But I try and will continue otherwise I wouldn't be writing this post.
A few clarifications on the topic. I well know that many would consider the topic very self centered, egotistical and undesirable. Always thinking about himself. His center of the universe is himself which revolves around his wants, wishes and desires. On the other hand, I am talking about self awareness which means self knowledge that what I do and say and behave is desirable to be a good citizen, a useful and productive personality. Furthermore, it compels me to take responsibility for my entire being. And that is quite a responsibility for any one. It is especially relevant in this day and age where placing blame on others is quite popular in both personal and political discourse.
Self awareness suggests a good look in the mirror to own up to how I operate, my attitudes, inclinations hopes and dreams fears and anxieties. This permits me to live my days in a useful and productive manner. I recognize what is commonly called either positive or negative attributes. For example, if I look for the bad in others, I will find it. I if need to be critical of others I can find things to criticize. No problem. If, on the other hand, I chose to look for the good, the positive qualities in others I can find that too.
But the bottom line, I must first look at myself and be a critic of my attitudes, behavior and not chronically look at what is wrong with others. This is the foundation when seeking professional help in relationships whether marriage, family or professional. The inclination is to blame another for any problems rather than seek to understand in what way the client is relating to another. It is not a matter of what is wrong with them, it is what is wrong about me. In fact, it can also be a matter of what is right as well. But it begins with the "I" in things.
How to communicate with others, how to frame, verbalize conversation so that sharing thoughts, emotions and consequent behavior result in understanding each other remains quite a challenge. Yes, I can agree just to be agreeable. I can nod, smile, frown, contradict all I want, the matter of experiencing understanding of another is fraught with many peaks and valleys. To this day! But I try and will continue otherwise I wouldn't be writing this post.
A few clarifications on the topic. I well know that many would consider the topic very self centered, egotistical and undesirable. Always thinking about himself. His center of the universe is himself which revolves around his wants, wishes and desires. On the other hand, I am talking about self awareness which means self knowledge that what I do and say and behave is desirable to be a good citizen, a useful and productive personality. Furthermore, it compels me to take responsibility for my entire being. And that is quite a responsibility for any one. It is especially relevant in this day and age where placing blame on others is quite popular in both personal and political discourse.
Self awareness suggests a good look in the mirror to own up to how I operate, my attitudes, inclinations hopes and dreams fears and anxieties. This permits me to live my days in a useful and productive manner. I recognize what is commonly called either positive or negative attributes. For example, if I look for the bad in others, I will find it. I if need to be critical of others I can find things to criticize. No problem. If, on the other hand, I chose to look for the good, the positive qualities in others I can find that too.
But the bottom line, I must first look at myself and be a critic of my attitudes, behavior and not chronically look at what is wrong with others. This is the foundation when seeking professional help in relationships whether marriage, family or professional. The inclination is to blame another for any problems rather than seek to understand in what way the client is relating to another. It is not a matter of what is wrong with them, it is what is wrong about me. In fact, it can also be a matter of what is right as well. But it begins with the "I" in things.
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