How Well Do You Really Know Yourself?

3 tips to boost your confidence - TED-Ed

Quick Tips for Better Self Confidence

1) How to Feel Good When You Need to

Because self confidence and feeling good has a major 'hormonal' element, you can change the way you feel by re-living good times. If you can remember a time you felt really self confident, then excellent - use that! If not, then use a time you felt contented or happy. Taking deliberate control of your thoughts and emotions will have an huge impact on your self confidence and other areas of your life.

2) Beating Self Consciousness, Confidence Enemy No.1 

Although useful for learning about the impact you have on others, too much self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence. The trick is keeping your attention off yourself when you need to. Here's how...

a) When you feel self-conscious, (you can usually tell because you start to feel anxious), choose something outside of yourself to focus on and study it in detail. For example: examine a door, look at the different textures and shades of colour, wonder about who made it and how and so on. The important thing is that you're learning how to keep your attention off yourself.

It is a good idea to practise this technique in private first. Just sit quietly, practising focusing firstly on your own thoughts and then deliberately focusing outwards onto a picture or piece of furniture.

b) Social self confidence can be difficult to find sometimes because it is unclear what you are 'supposed to do'. In this event, concentrate on what your purpose in the situation is. Whether you're there to:

• find out if you like the other people present
• make others feel comfortable
• find out some information
• make business contacts
• and so on...

It's much more difficult to feel self-conscious if your mind is occupied with a task.
People are often most comfortable with others when working towards a common goal. The common goal of socialising could be making friends, the exchange of mutually beneficial information, expanding your knowledge of different types of people... it could be whatever you want it to be! The key is to have an aim.

3) Watch Out for Undue Criticism - Especially Your Own!

Have you noticed that people will speak to themselves in a way they would never speak to others? You know the sort of thing - you break a glass and it's "You stupid idiot. You can't do anything right can you?"
Criticism that leaves the receiver feeling upset or depressed is rarely useful.
Challenging your own assumptions about yourself and other people can really help build self confidence. Here's a few to get you started:

1. Those confident-looking people have bad moments too - you just don't get to hear about them!

2. If you feel under-confident, it doesn't mean other people can tell. They're often too caught up with their 'own stuff' to notice!

3. If you catch yourself saying things to yourself like "I'm no good at anything" then rest assured, you're wrong about that. Everyone can compose a sentence, get successfully to the store, eat without choking and do a million other things. Emotion can make things seem hopeless when they rarely are.

Don't let yourself make sweeping statements about yourself - in the long run it is this sort of thing that can really damage your self image. If this happens, say to yourself calmly and gently, "Hold on a minute, that's not true". If you can come up with some evidence that disproves the sweeping statement, then even better. It may take a bit of effort at first, but the impact on your self confidence levels is huge.

Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of yourself, it's about not thinking bad for no reason!

4. Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past doesn't mean you're always going to feel that way. I have seen hundreds of people surprise themselves once they have learned how to build self confidence in a way that it stays built!

The important thing is to get away from thinking "Why did that happen?", or "Why do I feel this way?" and towards "How would I like to feel?", "In what situations do I feel confident?" or, "What do I need to learn in order to have better self confidence in this situation?"

5. Persevere and don't expect everything at once. Really learn how to develop your self confidence by following the tips from this site and the free Self Confidence Course and notice the small differences as they happen. Building good self confidence is a wonderful thing, and it's much easier than you'd imagine.

Regular confidence boosts can make all the difference

 

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The surprising secret to speaking with confidence | Caroline Goyder | TEDxBrixton

9 Ways To Build A Strong Character Everyone Loves

Some people are more likable than others, and that is mainly because of their unique character – outgoing, friendly, talkative, empathic, down-to-earth and honest people always have it easier. We use the term “character” almost on a daily basis, but how many of us actually know what a good character involves? People love loyal, courageous and moral people, and if you have decided to take your character and personality into your own hands, then here are some of the most important things you need to pay attention to:

1. Always Be Calm

There is no point in getting all heated up and overreacting – calmness can take you a very long way, as this state of serenity and quietude allows you to meditate and concentrate and, ultimately, to make the decision that benefits you the most. Calmness is undoubtedly one of the most notable traits of people with strong characters – if you manage to express yourself, your thoughts and your emotions in a calm and warm manner, that will certainly appeal to all those around you!

2. Avoid Drama At All Costs

Nobody likes drama queens – we all have our fair share of problems that we need to deal with, but drama and fatalism have never solved any issue so far. We are all responsible for the lives we live, and instead of trying to blame everybody else but yourself for your failure, you should take responsibility for your actions and do your best to change your destiny. Happiness is a state of mind that one often builds – you do not find happiness, you create it from scratch. Also, remember the law of attraction: what you think, you attract!

3. Steer Clear From Irrational Impulses

Irrational impulses are, sometimes, part of human nature – some people feel things more intensely than others, and this may lead to irrational actions sometimes. If you do not guard against these impulses, they can take their toll on your relationships and they can easily bypass your intellect as well. Sometimes, we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by fear or sadness, when ultimately it is entirely up to us to decide whether we are the slaves of our deepest fears or if we practice self-control.

4. Be A Truth Seeker

 

Everybody loves truth seekers – they would rather choose a tough and hurtful truth over a comforting lie, and that is certainly one of the most important markers of a strong character. Strong and rational people always doubt things and they examine all the facts – that is why they are rational, in the end. Strong people get rid of all their biases and prejudices and they are always in the pursuit of happiness, on all levels.

5. Be Courageous And Never Look Back

Fear is a perfectly normal and natural state – we are genetically programmed to feel fear during stressful situations, and every single person on Earth has felt it at least once. However, while some people wear their heart on their sleeve, others manage to masterfully disguise their fear and to let courage prevail – and this is precisely what you should do as well, if you have decided to make the best of your character. Face your obstacles and overcome them – do not run away, do not panic and always trust yourself.

6. Be Empathic

Being empathic is one of the most important and valued character traits – as a matter of fact, empathy is what makes us human. One of the most common misconceptions many people have these days is that showing empathy and warmth makes them look weak, when the truth is that only truly strong people, those who shine from within are able to be good and kind with others. Love those that surround you and always empathize with them, without expecting anything in return. Never judge people before walking a mile in their own shoes, for everybody is fighting a very hard battle that you know nothing about!

7. Be Confident

 

Self-confidence is very attractive and empowering – when you are confident in your own potential, you inspire other people to be the same, and everybody will love you for that. Confidence is a natural thing, and we are not born confident – instead, we learn how to build our confidence and how to respect and love ourselves. Throughout our lives, we go through numerous events that shatter our self-esteem, or that at least make it plummet. However, it is up to us to sail smoothly through all of these obstacles and never to accept failure or defeat as an option. Success is built upon itself, and that certainly requires a lot of time and effort – besides this, it is essential to acknowledge all your small accomplishments, instead of focusing only on your biggest failures. That is by far the best way to build confidence and, ultimately, to become a stronger person with a character everybody will love!

8. Always Maintain Your Reputation And Your Image

Your reputation is one of your most valuable assets, as it takes years to build a good reputation within your circle of friends, and only a few seconds to have it shattered. People always love and respect those with a good reputation and a flawless personal integrity, and you must do your best to keep your reputation impeccable, as long as this does not require you to sacrifice other qualities, such as honesty. Always be true to who you are, and remember that there are some people who might look up to you for inspiration.

9. Be Courteous And Polite With Everybody

Being courteous will never become old-fashioned, for people will always appreciate good manners. However, when it comes to courtesy, it must be said that everybody can be courteous and nice with their friends and with people they generally like – the true challenge arises from being courteous with those you dislike! If you manage to do so and still keep it real at the end of the day, then you have managed to strengthen your character to a greater extent than you might have bargained for, and your friends and relatives will undoubtedly appreciate that.

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