Showing posts with label Self Improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Improvement. Show all posts
Wednesday, 1 February 2017
Friday, 27 January 2017
Thursday, 26 January 2017
Monday, 23 January 2017
The Importance of Self Knowledge
What is Self Knowledge?
Self knowledge is knowing yourself intimately. It involves knowing your thoughts and feelings, how they came about, and how they influence your behavior. It is about understanding your needs, desires, motivations, beliefs, views and values. In short, it is about knowing how you tick and what makes you tick.
The tool for self knowledge is introspection, a looking within that focuses our attention on our thoughts, how they arise and disappear. This is best done in a quiet environment where you have time to watch and analyze your own thoughts. A busy life does not exclude this possibility of introspection or self reflection but it does make it less likely that you will do so. Furthermore, it is more difficult to watch a busy mind that runs and jumps everywhere like a monkey in a cage.
Why is self knowledge important?
Self knowledge is important because it helps you to understand yourself better. Through better self understanding, you are more able to be in control of your own life. You can then make life happens for you rather than have life happens to you.
It also helps you to find answer to the more insightful and spiritual question - "Who am I?"
Through self knowledge, we are in a better position to understand the outer physical universe as well as the inner metaphysical world within us, and to see how our mind becomes the interface for both experiences. We now know that the meanings we place on the "realities" of life have a greater effect on the quality of our human experience than the "realities" themselves. Thus, we can change the quality of our life simply by changing the way we think and view the world around us. We can become happier simply by changing ourselves, without changing the world. Paradoxically, when we do change ourselves, the world around us changes as well, as if on its own.
We live in a participatory universe where our thoughts and beliefs are very real "things" that affect the world around us. It is as if the content of our inner mind is reflected out into the physical world. This is how we create our own destiny. This is the understanding that will stop us from becoming a victim of circumstances, and instead become the master of our own destiny. This is the occult lesson in the ancient teachings of Hermes, in one of his seven spiritual laws. This spiritual law, called the Law of Correspondence, says "As Above, So Below. As Within, So Without".
This
is a key lesson in self understanding, in knowing that we create our
own lives and that we are fully and completely responsible for what we
create - consciously AND unconsciously. It is extremely empowering to
realize that whatever we create we can re-create, thus we are never a
victim of circumstances. It is always within our power to change our
lives.
Self knowledge allows us to recognize our error in thinking and to correct it. It is therefore the mean to a better and more fulfilling life - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
Self knowledge is knowing yourself intimately. It involves knowing your thoughts and feelings, how they came about, and how they influence your behavior. It is about understanding your needs, desires, motivations, beliefs, views and values. In short, it is about knowing how you tick and what makes you tick.
The tool for self knowledge is introspection, a looking within that focuses our attention on our thoughts, how they arise and disappear. This is best done in a quiet environment where you have time to watch and analyze your own thoughts. A busy life does not exclude this possibility of introspection or self reflection but it does make it less likely that you will do so. Furthermore, it is more difficult to watch a busy mind that runs and jumps everywhere like a monkey in a cage.
Why is self knowledge important?
Self knowledge is important because it helps you to understand yourself better. Through better self understanding, you are more able to be in control of your own life. You can then make life happens for you rather than have life happens to you.
It also helps you to find answer to the more insightful and spiritual question - "Who am I?"
Through self knowledge, we are in a better position to understand the outer physical universe as well as the inner metaphysical world within us, and to see how our mind becomes the interface for both experiences. We now know that the meanings we place on the "realities" of life have a greater effect on the quality of our human experience than the "realities" themselves. Thus, we can change the quality of our life simply by changing the way we think and view the world around us. We can become happier simply by changing ourselves, without changing the world. Paradoxically, when we do change ourselves, the world around us changes as well, as if on its own.
We live in a participatory universe where our thoughts and beliefs are very real "things" that affect the world around us. It is as if the content of our inner mind is reflected out into the physical world. This is how we create our own destiny. This is the understanding that will stop us from becoming a victim of circumstances, and instead become the master of our own destiny. This is the occult lesson in the ancient teachings of Hermes, in one of his seven spiritual laws. This spiritual law, called the Law of Correspondence, says "As Above, So Below. As Within, So Without".
Self knowledge allows us to recognize our error in thinking and to correct it. It is therefore the mean to a better and more fulfilling life - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
Thursday, 19 January 2017
Monday, 16 January 2017
How to Learn About Your Strengths and Weaknesses
The key to professional development and leadership capability
begins with the Greek maxim: know thyself. It's lack of self knowledge -
either grossly overestimating our abilities (one piece of research
surveying 11,000 people found 33% of leaders overestimated their
leadership ability) or profoundly underestimating what we are capable of
(how many people do you know with chronically low self-esteem?) - that
leads to failure.
Here are five techniques for KNOWING YOURSELF even better. They are an excellent smorgasbord to be used in a coaching situation or to be drawn out in an appraisal discussion as the manager helps the employee get to grips with self-development.
1) Get 360° feedback -
From family, friends, peers, subordinates, bosses, customers, suppliers - anyone who gives quality feedback. Getting quality feedback is arguably the single most important thing you can do to improve yourself. In America they have the expression, 'Feedback is the breakfast of champions'. So the question becomes: where will you get good feedback?
A good idea is for you to list the people you know, like and trust - who can help? When and how will you ask them?
2) Test yourself using psychological profiles and other valid and objective insights:
For example, Learning style profile (Kolb), Team style profiles (Belbin), Personality style profiles (Myers-Briggs), Motivational style profiles (Motivational Maps) etc. The named tools in brackets are just examples - there are others. By identifying your strengths and weaknesses here, you can then go to work on them by creating a plan.
What profiles will you complete? What will you do with them when they are done? A key task is to compare the type of person you are with the type of work you do - is there a fit?
3) Review your own life in detail:
What you have done speaks volumes about the real you, not the imaginary you - the false you that you have inadvertently constructed over time. What patterns emerge? Keep a diary or journal.
When will you start your journal? A key issue in building self-esteem is to log 3 achievements per day and then review your week and month regularly. This builds a portfolio of evidence that becomes believable to the subconscious mind - yours!
4) Stretch yourself by going out of the comfort zone:
Do things that that drive you to your limits. Children do this all the time - they sing in public for the first time, they undertake complex work, they go on some adventure trek - and as a result they grow at a tremendous rate.
What activity or learning will you undertake? Going out of the comfort zone is not to be confused with doing bizarre and dangerous things just because they are there, or because others do them. Find something - and often it is something you wanted to do as a child but never had the time - that really you'd feel proud of if you did it.
5) Use your imagination -
Daydream - ask 'what if?' - visualise yourself with knowledge, skills, talents that appeal to you. By focusing your mind on what you want or even on finding what you want, a powerful force is unleashed.
When will you visualise your possibilities? How? Under what conditions? The power of the imagination is virtually unlimited - everything that is came into existence via the imagination - it was seen in the mind's eye before it was 'created' literally or physically. Thus the more time is spent imaging ideal realities, the more likely it is that that reality will come to pass. It is important that when using visualisation and imaging techniques that we stay in a relaxed state of mind. A key extra point here is that if you have never experienced relaxation techniques before, the most well known being meditation, then I strongly recommend you find a teacher first to get you on your way.
So, we have it then: five techniques that will certainly boost your self-awareness, your understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and which if appropriated - your choice - could make a major difference to the outcomes of your life. The added bonus is: they are all fun because learning is fun!
Have a go.
Here are five techniques for KNOWING YOURSELF even better. They are an excellent smorgasbord to be used in a coaching situation or to be drawn out in an appraisal discussion as the manager helps the employee get to grips with self-development.
1) Get 360° feedback -
From family, friends, peers, subordinates, bosses, customers, suppliers - anyone who gives quality feedback. Getting quality feedback is arguably the single most important thing you can do to improve yourself. In America they have the expression, 'Feedback is the breakfast of champions'. So the question becomes: where will you get good feedback?
A good idea is for you to list the people you know, like and trust - who can help? When and how will you ask them?
2) Test yourself using psychological profiles and other valid and objective insights:
For example, Learning style profile (Kolb), Team style profiles (Belbin), Personality style profiles (Myers-Briggs), Motivational style profiles (Motivational Maps) etc. The named tools in brackets are just examples - there are others. By identifying your strengths and weaknesses here, you can then go to work on them by creating a plan.
What profiles will you complete? What will you do with them when they are done? A key task is to compare the type of person you are with the type of work you do - is there a fit?
3) Review your own life in detail:
What you have done speaks volumes about the real you, not the imaginary you - the false you that you have inadvertently constructed over time. What patterns emerge? Keep a diary or journal.
When will you start your journal? A key issue in building self-esteem is to log 3 achievements per day and then review your week and month regularly. This builds a portfolio of evidence that becomes believable to the subconscious mind - yours!
4) Stretch yourself by going out of the comfort zone:
Do things that that drive you to your limits. Children do this all the time - they sing in public for the first time, they undertake complex work, they go on some adventure trek - and as a result they grow at a tremendous rate.
What activity or learning will you undertake? Going out of the comfort zone is not to be confused with doing bizarre and dangerous things just because they are there, or because others do them. Find something - and often it is something you wanted to do as a child but never had the time - that really you'd feel proud of if you did it.
5) Use your imagination -
Daydream - ask 'what if?' - visualise yourself with knowledge, skills, talents that appeal to you. By focusing your mind on what you want or even on finding what you want, a powerful force is unleashed.
When will you visualise your possibilities? How? Under what conditions? The power of the imagination is virtually unlimited - everything that is came into existence via the imagination - it was seen in the mind's eye before it was 'created' literally or physically. Thus the more time is spent imaging ideal realities, the more likely it is that that reality will come to pass. It is important that when using visualisation and imaging techniques that we stay in a relaxed state of mind. A key extra point here is that if you have never experienced relaxation techniques before, the most well known being meditation, then I strongly recommend you find a teacher first to get you on your way.
So, we have it then: five techniques that will certainly boost your self-awareness, your understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and which if appropriated - your choice - could make a major difference to the outcomes of your life. The added bonus is: they are all fun because learning is fun!
Have a go.
Friday, 13 January 2017
10 Ways to Enhance Your Listening Skills
Do you prefer talking to listening?
Do you consider yourself a good listener or a poor one?
Do you like to enhance your listening skills?
If your answer is yes to at least one of the questions above, I have good news for you. The good news is that in this article you will learn 10 ways to enhance your listening skills. Are you ready to learn these ten ways and apply them in your day to day interactions with people? Great!
Believe it or not, most of us like talking more than listening because we find it easier, because we have been schooled in speaking, reading, and writing but not much in listening. But remember we have been given two ears and one tongue, so we should listen twice as much as we talk!
I have a 4 year-old daughter and she knows exactly whether I am listening to her or not. When I am not, she comes closer to me, takes my head into her little hands, and makes me have eye contact with her while she is talking. So, when small children understand whether we are listening to them or not, how can't our colleagues, employees, customers, supervisors, and friends recognize that?
Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. Effective listening is an art. It will help you understand another person's thoughts, feelings and actions. When you listen to another person attentively and emphatically, you will create a bond between the two of you, which will promote the relationship. Therefore, it is really important to improve our listening skills in order to be able to receive the maximum benefit from whoever talks to us no matter on which topic they talk about.
Following are ten ways that can help you become more effective listeners:
Control Your Mind
We think four times faster than we talk. That is why when someone is talking to us our mind may race ahead and as a result we get off track and lose our connection with the speaker. For instance when the speaker says "Mexico", the listener may start thinking about Mexico and imagine himself or herself in Mexico or remember his/her experience related to Mexico without even listening to what the speaker wanted to say about Mexico.
In order to resolve this issue, you need to control your mind. When you find your mind racing during someone's speech/talk, stop, pause, get on track, and relate your own experience with the speaker's presentation. Although controlling your mind is not easy at the beginning, by practice you can gradually become better and better in following what the speaker is saying.
Be Patient and Concentrate
To become more effective in listening you need to be patient and concentrate on what the other person is saying. Don't try to finish the other person's sentence or come to conclusion without listening patiently to the whole story. To concentrate on what the other person is saying, don't attempt to listen to other things at the same time. Also don't do other things (e.g. working with computer, watching TV, reading book) while listening to the speaker.
Show that You Are Listening
Leaning forward, having facial expressions, making eye contact, and nodding your head are among the most effective ways to show the speaker that you are listening to him/her. When you show that you are listening, the speaker will connect with you better and he/she will also listen to you effectively when it is your turn to talk.
Don't Make Assumptions
We normally tend to make assumptions when we hear somebody talk. We may say things like "I've heard him before", "he doesn't have anything new to say", "she is always boring", etc. are assumptions that we make when someone wants to talk to us and as a result we choose not to listen to them effectively. By making no assumptions, we would welcome the speaker and be able to listen to him/her more effectively and openly.
Decide to Learn Something
When you choose to learn something from anyone whom you listen to, you condition your mind to focus and search for something to learn. We all can learn at least one point from anyone's speech if we want to.
Act as an Evaluator
When we want to evaluate someone's talk, we tend to listen more attentively in order to notice the positive points as well as the points for improvement. Therefore, when you listen to someone act as an evaluator.
Take Notes
Taking notes while listening to someone is also one of the effective ways to show your interest in the speaker. Just remember to still make eye contact with the speaker occasionally so that they know that you are actually paying attention to what they are saying.
Reduce Noise and Distractions
Many times distractions such as noisy conditions, someone passing by, music playing in the background, TV on, etc. impact the efficiency of our listening. As such, we may not be able understand what exactly the other person is saying. By reducing noise and distractions we can become more present and listen more effectively to the speaker.
Paraphrase What You Hear
By paraphrasing what you hear, you make sure that you have understood what you have heard. You also show that you have interest in what the speaker is sharing with you.
Don't Interrupt
Since we think faster than we talk, many times we tend to interrupt the speaker in order to make our point or tell them what we think before we forget that. Interrupting someone who is talking to you means that you are not actually listening to them. By letting the speakers finish what they have to say you show your respect toward them.
In summary, a key to good listening is not only hearing, but also understanding what you have heard. Good listening requires as much energy as does speaking. As a Chinese proverb says, "To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation". So by actively and effectively listening to others tell them that you care.
Happy Listening!
Do you consider yourself a good listener or a poor one?
Do you like to enhance your listening skills?
If your answer is yes to at least one of the questions above, I have good news for you. The good news is that in this article you will learn 10 ways to enhance your listening skills. Are you ready to learn these ten ways and apply them in your day to day interactions with people? Great!
Believe it or not, most of us like talking more than listening because we find it easier, because we have been schooled in speaking, reading, and writing but not much in listening. But remember we have been given two ears and one tongue, so we should listen twice as much as we talk!
I have a 4 year-old daughter and she knows exactly whether I am listening to her or not. When I am not, she comes closer to me, takes my head into her little hands, and makes me have eye contact with her while she is talking. So, when small children understand whether we are listening to them or not, how can't our colleagues, employees, customers, supervisors, and friends recognize that?
Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. Effective listening is an art. It will help you understand another person's thoughts, feelings and actions. When you listen to another person attentively and emphatically, you will create a bond between the two of you, which will promote the relationship. Therefore, it is really important to improve our listening skills in order to be able to receive the maximum benefit from whoever talks to us no matter on which topic they talk about.
Following are ten ways that can help you become more effective listeners:
Control Your Mind
We think four times faster than we talk. That is why when someone is talking to us our mind may race ahead and as a result we get off track and lose our connection with the speaker. For instance when the speaker says "Mexico", the listener may start thinking about Mexico and imagine himself or herself in Mexico or remember his/her experience related to Mexico without even listening to what the speaker wanted to say about Mexico.
In order to resolve this issue, you need to control your mind. When you find your mind racing during someone's speech/talk, stop, pause, get on track, and relate your own experience with the speaker's presentation. Although controlling your mind is not easy at the beginning, by practice you can gradually become better and better in following what the speaker is saying.
Be Patient and Concentrate
To become more effective in listening you need to be patient and concentrate on what the other person is saying. Don't try to finish the other person's sentence or come to conclusion without listening patiently to the whole story. To concentrate on what the other person is saying, don't attempt to listen to other things at the same time. Also don't do other things (e.g. working with computer, watching TV, reading book) while listening to the speaker.
Show that You Are Listening
Leaning forward, having facial expressions, making eye contact, and nodding your head are among the most effective ways to show the speaker that you are listening to him/her. When you show that you are listening, the speaker will connect with you better and he/she will also listen to you effectively when it is your turn to talk.
Don't Make Assumptions
We normally tend to make assumptions when we hear somebody talk. We may say things like "I've heard him before", "he doesn't have anything new to say", "she is always boring", etc. are assumptions that we make when someone wants to talk to us and as a result we choose not to listen to them effectively. By making no assumptions, we would welcome the speaker and be able to listen to him/her more effectively and openly.
Decide to Learn Something
When you choose to learn something from anyone whom you listen to, you condition your mind to focus and search for something to learn. We all can learn at least one point from anyone's speech if we want to.
Act as an Evaluator
When we want to evaluate someone's talk, we tend to listen more attentively in order to notice the positive points as well as the points for improvement. Therefore, when you listen to someone act as an evaluator.
Take Notes
Taking notes while listening to someone is also one of the effective ways to show your interest in the speaker. Just remember to still make eye contact with the speaker occasionally so that they know that you are actually paying attention to what they are saying.
Reduce Noise and Distractions
Many times distractions such as noisy conditions, someone passing by, music playing in the background, TV on, etc. impact the efficiency of our listening. As such, we may not be able understand what exactly the other person is saying. By reducing noise and distractions we can become more present and listen more effectively to the speaker.
Paraphrase What You Hear
By paraphrasing what you hear, you make sure that you have understood what you have heard. You also show that you have interest in what the speaker is sharing with you.
Don't Interrupt
Since we think faster than we talk, many times we tend to interrupt the speaker in order to make our point or tell them what we think before we forget that. Interrupting someone who is talking to you means that you are not actually listening to them. By letting the speakers finish what they have to say you show your respect toward them.
In summary, a key to good listening is not only hearing, but also understanding what you have heard. Good listening requires as much energy as does speaking. As a Chinese proverb says, "To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation". So by actively and effectively listening to others tell them that you care.
Happy Listening!
Monday, 9 January 2017
Wednesday, 28 December 2016
Why The Law Of Attraction And Goal Setting Are Different
Many people mistake the Law of Attraction (LOA) with goal
setting. While there are similarities between the two self-development
tools, most people don't always get them right.
However, when you figure out how to use the LOA properly, it will work and change your life. Otherwise, people can continue striving for their goals but they are chasing the wrong things that lead them to a wrong path.
This is not to say that you can't use the LOA to help you achieve your goals. (This could be the reason why people get them confused.) Some believe that if you try to set the wrong goals or your goals are too aggressive, LOA will be used against you because you will stress out by not being able to accomplish those goals.
In this way, goals can be looked at as the path you set whereas the LOA is the power or the engine that will get you there.
When you create a plan (your goals), you focus on the positive aspect of the plan and how it can get you to where you want to be in life.
Do you need to have goals to use the LOA? Take finding a mate, as an example.
You may go out on more dates every month. You may think this is a goal. But will it result in finding someone? It may, it may not, but the point is will that person be right for you? When LOA is used, proponents believe that you will find the right person due to what you put out into the universe.
The big dating websites will state they have the scientific formula for choosing the right mate.
Perhaps they do a good job. But, can they beat the LOA when it comes to finding love? Does the very nature of using one of these sites set the stage for the correct components needed using the LOA to find that mate? It does get you to focus your attention on thinking about the right qualities you find desirable.
There are people who believe that when you stop looking for love is when you tend to find it. This goes against the grain of both the LOA believers and the dating websites.
Then again, from the LOA perspective, perhaps you have put out to the universe the proper requirements needed. Then, when you stop stressing about trying to find the perfect person by not thinking about it anymore, you are rewarded with finding someone. This can happen without even turning on your computer.
Anyhow, whether you believe in the LOA or not, the only way to really get what you want in life is to BECOME the kind of person that deserves the things you want. Take action and make things happen.
However, when you figure out how to use the LOA properly, it will work and change your life. Otherwise, people can continue striving for their goals but they are chasing the wrong things that lead them to a wrong path.
This is not to say that you can't use the LOA to help you achieve your goals. (This could be the reason why people get them confused.) Some believe that if you try to set the wrong goals or your goals are too aggressive, LOA will be used against you because you will stress out by not being able to accomplish those goals.
In this way, goals can be looked at as the path you set whereas the LOA is the power or the engine that will get you there.
When you create a plan (your goals), you focus on the positive aspect of the plan and how it can get you to where you want to be in life.
Do you need to have goals to use the LOA? Take finding a mate, as an example.
You may go out on more dates every month. You may think this is a goal. But will it result in finding someone? It may, it may not, but the point is will that person be right for you? When LOA is used, proponents believe that you will find the right person due to what you put out into the universe.
The big dating websites will state they have the scientific formula for choosing the right mate.
Perhaps they do a good job. But, can they beat the LOA when it comes to finding love? Does the very nature of using one of these sites set the stage for the correct components needed using the LOA to find that mate? It does get you to focus your attention on thinking about the right qualities you find desirable.
There are people who believe that when you stop looking for love is when you tend to find it. This goes against the grain of both the LOA believers and the dating websites.
Then again, from the LOA perspective, perhaps you have put out to the universe the proper requirements needed. Then, when you stop stressing about trying to find the perfect person by not thinking about it anymore, you are rewarded with finding someone. This can happen without even turning on your computer.
Anyhow, whether you believe in the LOA or not, the only way to really get what you want in life is to BECOME the kind of person that deserves the things you want. Take action and make things happen.
Tuesday, 27 December 2016
Friday, 16 December 2016
Tuesday, 13 December 2016
Monday, 12 December 2016
Friday, 9 December 2016
Speaking with Confidence in Work and in Life
Slow down
The most common mistake men make that prevents them from
speaking with confidence is speaking too quickly. When a guy speaks
quickly it often gives the impression that he’s nervous, insecure, or
lacks self-control. It’s crucial then to practice speaking at a slower,
more relaxed pace. Speaking in a calm, deliberate manner shows
confidence – even dominance – and gives the impression that you’re a man
who is in control.
When to start speaking
A similar mistake men make is that they rush into speaking.
During a conversation a guy may start talking the same moment (or even
moments before) the other person finishes speaking. Jumping in and
talking immediately like this can make a guy look a little too eager
–and even worse – make the other person may feel as though she wasn’t
being heard. A good practice then is work on pausing for a second or
two after a person speaks before you start talking. Taking your time
like this shows you’re relaxed, confident, and are actually interested
in what the other person is saying.
Eliminate filler words
Filler words (words as “umm”, “uhh””, “like…”, etc.) are
used to take up space while a person tries to figure out what to say
next. But using them just makes a guy look uncertain of what he’s
saying. So if you want to sound more confident when speaking, eliminate
these filler words completely. What should you put in their place?
Nothing. If you need a moment to think of what to say next simply
pause and hold that silence. Silent pauses are incredibly powerful as
they build tension and suck people in. If you can hold those brief
moments of silence without feeling the need to fill that silence with
useless sounds, people will start to hang off your every word.
Don’t just be loud
Men sometimes confuse speaking with confidence as speaking
loudly. While speaking loud enough to be heard is important, what
matters even more that volume is your pitch and cadence (cadence is
basically the rhythm of your voice). To project confidence then, be
sure to keep a low pitch and a smooth cadence when speaking (don’t
bounce the pitch around, frequently going from high to low to high).
Maintaining a low, steady tone of voice is a surefire way to sound more
confident.
Speaking without tension
That low, dominant tone that makes you sound confident
comes about naturally when you release the tension in your voice. The
muscles in your shoulders, neck, jaw and throat all affect your voice
tone so you want to relax those muscles when speaking. To get those
muscles relaxed here’s an exercise you can try: Start by taking a slow,
deep breath. As you exhale make a noise that’s half yawn/half sigh and
soften any tension you feel in your jaw, throat, neck and shoulders.
This exercise will help you become aware of the existing tension in
your voice so that you’ll be able to relax that tension when speaking.
The importance of breathe
Taking slow, steady, deep breaths as you speak will ensure
you have a slow, steady, deep voice. The key to obtaining this kind of
breath is to make sure that you’re not just breathing into your chest
but instead are breathing deep into your belly. You should be able to
feel your lower rib cage expand out as you inhale and your belly should
rise and fall as you breathe in and out. If this sounds like too much
to remember there’s a very simply way to think of it. When you breathe
in, imagine breathing that air deep into your balls. Visualizing your
breath like this ensures you’ll take the deep, full breaths needed for
speaking with confidence.
Adding authority to your speech
When people are uncertain of what they’re saying the pitch
of their voice automatically goes up at the end of a sentences. You
hear this all the time when people ask questions but it can happen when
people give statements, too. If you want to add an extra touch of
authority to your speech do the opposite and end your sentences by
lowering your pitch. Even if you’re asking a question, this downward
inflection is going to make you sound much more confident in what you’re
asking.
Stay present
A lot of the problems mentioned above – speaking too
quickly, tightening your voice, breathing into the chest instead of the
belly – come about when we lose presence. It’s when we get so wrapped
up in what we should say next (or what people might think of us) that
these bad habits take hold. To prevent this, stay aware of the sound of
your voice when you speak. This will keep you grounded so those nasty
habits won’t come creeping in unnoticed.
Practice improving your voice
For these tips to become a part of your natural way of
speaking it’s important to practice them. An easy way to do this is to
record your voice during a phone conversation with a friend. Listening
to a recording of your voice will make you aware of some of the mistakes
you’re making and areas you can improve upon. Do this on a regular
basis (maybe once a week) and it will be much easier to cut out bad
speaking habits and replace them with good ones.
Source:
Thursday, 1 December 2016
Wednesday, 30 November 2016
42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself - Part 2
This is Part 2 of 42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself
11. Write a letter to your future self. What do you see yourself as 5 years from now? Will you be the same? Different? What kind of person will you be? Write a letter to your future self – 1 year from now will be a good start – and seal it. Make a date in your calendar to open it 1 year from now. Then start working to become the person you want to open that letter.
12. Get out of your comfort zone. Real growth comes with hard work and sweat. Being too comfortable doesn’t help us grow – it makes us stagnate. What is your comfort zone? Do you stay in most of the time? Do you keep to your own space when out with other people? Shake your routine up. Do something different. By exposing yourself to a new context, you’re literally growing as you learn to act in new circumstances.
13. Put someone up to a challenge. Competition is one of the best ways to grow. Set a challenge (weight loss, exercise, financial challenge, etc) and compete with an interested friend to see who achieves the target first. Through the process, both of you will gain more than if you were to set off on the target alone.
14. Identify your blind spots. Scientifically, blind spots refer to areas our eyes are not capable of seeing. In personal development terms, blind spots are things about ourselves we are unaware of. Discovering our blind spots help us discover our areas of improvement. One exercise I use to discover my blind spots is to identify all the things/events/people that trigger me in a day – trigger meaning making me feel annoyed/weird/affected. These represent my blind spots. It’s always fun to do the exercise because I discover new things about myself, even if I may already think I know my own blind spots (but then they wouldn’t be blind spots would they?). After that, I work on steps to address them.
15. Ask for feedback. As much as we try to improve, we will always have blind spots. Asking for feedback gives us an additional perspective. Some people to approach will be friends, family, colleagues, boss, or even acquaintances, since they will have no preset bias and can give their feedback objectively.
16. Stay focused with to-do lists. I start my day with a list of tasks I want to complete and this helps make me stay focused. In comparison, the days when I don’t do this end up being extremely unproductive. For example, part of my to-do list for today is to write a guest post at LifeHack.Org, and this is why I’m writing this now! Since my work requires me to use my computer all the time, I use Free Sticky Notes to manage my to-do lists. It’s really simple to use and it’s a freeware, so I recommend you check it out.
17. Set Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs). I’m a big fan of setting BHAGs. BHAGs stretch you beyond your normal capacity since they are big and audacious – you wouldn’t think of attempting them normally. What are BHAGs you can embark on, which you’ll feel absolutely on top of the world once you complete them? Set them and start working on them.
18. Acknowledge your flaws. Everyone has flaws. What’s most important is to understand them, acknowledge them, and address them. What do you think are your flaws? What are the flaws you can work on now? How do you want to address them?
19. Get into action. The best way to learn and improve is to take action. What is something you have been meaning to do? How can you take action on it immediately? Waiting doesn’t get anything done. Taking action gives you immediate results to learn from.
20. Learn from people who inspire you. Think about people you admire. People who inspire you. These people reflect certain qualities you want to have for yourself too. What are the qualities in them you want to have for yourself? How can you acquire these qualities?
Source
Tuesday, 29 November 2016
Monday, 28 November 2016
42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself - Part 1
Are you someone who likes to grow? Do you constantly seek to improve yourself and become better?
If you do, then we have something in common. I’m very passionate about personal growth. It was just 4 years ago when I discovered my passion for growing and helping others grow. At that time, I was 22 and in my final year of university. As I thought about the meaning of life, I realized there was nothing more meaningful than to pursue a life of development and betterment. It is through improving ourselves that we get the most out of life.
After 1.5 years of actively pursuing growth and helping others to grow through my personal development blog, I realize there is never an end to the journey of self improvement. The more I grow, the more I realize there is so much out there I don’t know, so much that I have to learn. For sure, there is always something about ourselves we can improve on. The human potential is limitless, so it’s impossible to reach a point of no growth. Whenever we think we are good, we can be even better.
As a passionate advocate of growth, I’m continuously looking for ways to self-improve. I’ve compiled 42 of my best tips which might be helpful in your personal growth journey. Some of them are simple steps which you can engage in immediately. Some are bigger steps which takes conscious effort to act on. Here they are:
1. Read a book every day. Books are concentrated sources of wisdom. The more books you read, the more wisdom you expose yourself to. What are some books you can start reading to enrich yourself? Some books I’ve read and found useful are Think and Grow Rich, Who Moved My Cheese, 7 Habits, The Science of Getting Rich and Living the 80/20 Way. I’ve heard positive reviews for The Tipping Point, Outliers and The Difference Maker, so I’ll be checking them out soon.
2. Learn a new language. As a Singaporean Chinese, my main languages are English, Mandarin and Hokkien (a Chinese dialect). Out of interest, I took up language courses in the past few years such as Japanese and Bahasa Indonesian. I realized learning a language is a whole new skill altogether and the process of acquainting with a new language and culture is a totally a mind-opening experience.
3. Pick up a new hobby. Beyond just your usual favorite hobbies, is there something new you can pick up? Any new sport you can learn? Examples are fencing, golf, rock climbing, football, canoeing, or ice skating. Your new hobby can also be a recreational hobby. For example, pottery, Italian cooking, dancing, wine appreciation, web design, etc. Learning something new requires you to stretch yourself in different aspects, whether physically, mentally or emotionally.
4. Take up a new course. Is there any new course you can join? Courses are a great way to gain new knowledge and skills. It doesn’t have to be a long-term course – seminars or workshops serve their purpose too. I’ve been to a few workshops and they have helped me gain new insights which I had not considered before.
5. Create an inspirational room. Your environment sets the mood and tone for you. If you are living in an inspirational environment, you are going to be inspired every day. In the past, I didn’t like my room at all because I thought it was messy and dull. A few years ago, I decided this was the end of it – I started on a “Mega Room Revamp” project and overhauled my room. The end result? A room I totally relish being in and inspires me to be at my peak every day.
6. Overcome your fears. All of us have fears. Fear of uncertainty, fear of public speaking, fear of risk… All our fears keep us in the same position and prevent us from growing. Recognize that your fears reflect areas where you can grow. I always think of fears as the compass for growth. If I have a fear about something, it represents something I’ve yet to address, and addressing it helps me to grow.
7. Level up your skills. If you have played video games before especially RPGs, you’ll know the concept of leveling up – gaining experience so you can be better and stronger. As a blogger, I’m constantly leveling up my writing skills. As a speaker, I’m constantly leveling up my public engagement abilities. What skills can you level up?
8. Wake up early. Waking up early (say, 5-6am) has been acknowledged by many (Anthony Robbins, Robin Sharma, among other self-help gurus) to improve your productivity and your quality of life. I feel it’s because when you wake up early, your mindset is already set to continue the momentum and proactively live out the day. Seth recently wrote a waking up early series which you should check out to help cultivate this habit.
9. Have a weekly exercise routine. A better you starts with being in better physical shape. I personally make it a point to jog at least 3 times a week, at least 30 minutes each time. You may want to mix it up with jogging, gym lessons and swimming for variation.
10. Start your life handbook. A life handbook is an idea I started 3 years ago. Basically, it’s a book which contains the essentials on how you can live your life to the fullest, such as your purpose, your values and goals. Sort of like your manual for your life. I started my life handbook since 2007 and it’s been a crucial enabler in my progress.
If you do, then we have something in common. I’m very passionate about personal growth. It was just 4 years ago when I discovered my passion for growing and helping others grow. At that time, I was 22 and in my final year of university. As I thought about the meaning of life, I realized there was nothing more meaningful than to pursue a life of development and betterment. It is through improving ourselves that we get the most out of life.
After 1.5 years of actively pursuing growth and helping others to grow through my personal development blog, I realize there is never an end to the journey of self improvement. The more I grow, the more I realize there is so much out there I don’t know, so much that I have to learn. For sure, there is always something about ourselves we can improve on. The human potential is limitless, so it’s impossible to reach a point of no growth. Whenever we think we are good, we can be even better.
As a passionate advocate of growth, I’m continuously looking for ways to self-improve. I’ve compiled 42 of my best tips which might be helpful in your personal growth journey. Some of them are simple steps which you can engage in immediately. Some are bigger steps which takes conscious effort to act on. Here they are:
1. Read a book every day. Books are concentrated sources of wisdom. The more books you read, the more wisdom you expose yourself to. What are some books you can start reading to enrich yourself? Some books I’ve read and found useful are Think and Grow Rich, Who Moved My Cheese, 7 Habits, The Science of Getting Rich and Living the 80/20 Way. I’ve heard positive reviews for The Tipping Point, Outliers and The Difference Maker, so I’ll be checking them out soon.
2. Learn a new language. As a Singaporean Chinese, my main languages are English, Mandarin and Hokkien (a Chinese dialect). Out of interest, I took up language courses in the past few years such as Japanese and Bahasa Indonesian. I realized learning a language is a whole new skill altogether and the process of acquainting with a new language and culture is a totally a mind-opening experience.
3. Pick up a new hobby. Beyond just your usual favorite hobbies, is there something new you can pick up? Any new sport you can learn? Examples are fencing, golf, rock climbing, football, canoeing, or ice skating. Your new hobby can also be a recreational hobby. For example, pottery, Italian cooking, dancing, wine appreciation, web design, etc. Learning something new requires you to stretch yourself in different aspects, whether physically, mentally or emotionally.
4. Take up a new course. Is there any new course you can join? Courses are a great way to gain new knowledge and skills. It doesn’t have to be a long-term course – seminars or workshops serve their purpose too. I’ve been to a few workshops and they have helped me gain new insights which I had not considered before.
5. Create an inspirational room. Your environment sets the mood and tone for you. If you are living in an inspirational environment, you are going to be inspired every day. In the past, I didn’t like my room at all because I thought it was messy and dull. A few years ago, I decided this was the end of it – I started on a “Mega Room Revamp” project and overhauled my room. The end result? A room I totally relish being in and inspires me to be at my peak every day.
6. Overcome your fears. All of us have fears. Fear of uncertainty, fear of public speaking, fear of risk… All our fears keep us in the same position and prevent us from growing. Recognize that your fears reflect areas where you can grow. I always think of fears as the compass for growth. If I have a fear about something, it represents something I’ve yet to address, and addressing it helps me to grow.
7. Level up your skills. If you have played video games before especially RPGs, you’ll know the concept of leveling up – gaining experience so you can be better and stronger. As a blogger, I’m constantly leveling up my writing skills. As a speaker, I’m constantly leveling up my public engagement abilities. What skills can you level up?
8. Wake up early. Waking up early (say, 5-6am) has been acknowledged by many (Anthony Robbins, Robin Sharma, among other self-help gurus) to improve your productivity and your quality of life. I feel it’s because when you wake up early, your mindset is already set to continue the momentum and proactively live out the day. Seth recently wrote a waking up early series which you should check out to help cultivate this habit.
9. Have a weekly exercise routine. A better you starts with being in better physical shape. I personally make it a point to jog at least 3 times a week, at least 30 minutes each time. You may want to mix it up with jogging, gym lessons and swimming for variation.
10. Start your life handbook. A life handbook is an idea I started 3 years ago. Basically, it’s a book which contains the essentials on how you can live your life to the fullest, such as your purpose, your values and goals. Sort of like your manual for your life. I started my life handbook since 2007 and it’s been a crucial enabler in my progress.
Wednesday, 9 November 2016
How to Achieve Your Goals Easily
In the last 6 months, I’ve experimented with a simple strategy that has improved my work and my health.
Using this one basic idea, I have made consistent progress on my
goals every single week without incredible doses of willpower or
remarkable motivation.
Today, I want to share how I use this strategy and how you can apply it to your own life to improve your health and your work.
That’s great, but there is one common mistake we often make when it comes to setting goals. (I know I’ve committed this error many times myself.)
The problem is this: we set a deadline, but not a schedule.
We focus on the end goal that we want to achieve and the deadline we want to do it by. We say things like, “I want to lose 20 pounds by the summer” or “I want to add 50 pounds to my bench press in the next 12 weeks.”
The problem with this is that if we don’t magically hit the arbitrary timeline that we set in the beginning, then we feel like a failure … even if we are better off than we were at the start. The end result, sadly, is that we often give up if we don’t reach our goal by the initial deadline.
I’ve mentioned this idea multiple times before. For example, in making the mistake of putting performance goals before your identity or in choosing life–changing transformations over daily lifestyle choices.
Here’s the good news: there’s a better way and it’s simple.
Instead of giving yourself a deadline to accomplish a particular goal by (and then feeling like a failure if you don’t achieve it), you should choose a goal that is important to you and then set a schedule to work towards it consistently.
That might not sound like a big shift, but it is.
Example 1: Writing
As you know, I publish a new article every Monday and Thursday. Since my first article on November 12, 2012, I’ve never missed a scheduled date. Sometimes the article is shorter than expected, sometimes it’s not as compelling as I had hoped, and sometimes it’s not as useful as it could be … but it gets out to the world and into your inbox.
The results of this simple schedule have been amazing. Our little community has grown, seemingly without effort. We now have over 1,100 people (welcome friends!) who are committed to living a healthy life and who are actively supporting one another. Onwards to 5,000 strong!
Imagine if I had set a deadline for myself instead, like “get 1,000 subscribers in 12 weeks.” There’s no way I would have written every Monday and Thursday and if I didn’t reach my goal, then I would have felt like a failure.
Instead, we are slowly building one of the most incredible communities online. (By the way, thank you for all of the emails, tweets, and messages on fat loss, lifting weights, living longer, and forming better habits. Keep them coming! I’m always happy to get your questions and I’ll do my best to help however I can.)
Example 2: Exercise
Back in August, I decided that I wanted to do 100 pushups in a row with strict form. When I tried it the first time, I only got 36.
In the past, I might have set a deadline for myself: “Do 100 pushups by December 31st.”
Instead, I decided to set a schedule for my workouts. I started doing pushup workouts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So far, the only workouts I’ve missed were on long travel days from this trip in Istanbul and this trip in San Francisco.
I have no total pushup goal for any single workout. The goal is simply to do the workout. Just like I have no goal for any single article that I write. The goal is to publish the article.
The result, of course, is that after doing 77 pushup workouts I’ve made a lot of progress. If you’re interested, you can see every workout here.
Do you see how the two examples above are different than most goals we set for ourselves?
In both cases (writing and exercise), I made consistent progress towards my goals not by setting a deadline for my performance, but by sticking to a schedule.
Productive and successful people practice the things that are important to them on a consistent basis. The best weightlifters are in the gym at the same time every week. The best writers are sitting down at the keyboard every day. And this same principle applies to the best leaders, parents, managers, musicians, and doctors.
The strange thing is that for top performers, it’s not about the performance, it’s about the continual practice.
The focus is on doing the action, not on achieving X goal by a certain date.
The schedule is your friend. You can’t predict when you’ll have a stroke of genius and write a moving story, paint a beautiful portrait, or make an incredible picture, but the schedule can make sure that you’re working when that stroke of genius happens.
You can’t predict when your body feels like setting a new personal record, but the schedule can make sure that you’re in the gym whether you feel like it or not.
It’s about practicing the craft, not performing at a certain level. (We’re talking about practice. Not a game, not a game. Practice.)
If you want to be the type of person who accomplishes things on a consistent basis, then give yourself a schedule to follow, not a deadline to race towards.
Source
Today, I want to share how I use this strategy and how you can apply it to your own life to improve your health and your work.
The Problem with How We Usually Set Goals
If you’re anything like the typical human, then you have dreams and goals in your life. In fact, there are probably many things — large and small — that you would like to accomplish.That’s great, but there is one common mistake we often make when it comes to setting goals. (I know I’ve committed this error many times myself.)
The problem is this: we set a deadline, but not a schedule.
We focus on the end goal that we want to achieve and the deadline we want to do it by. We say things like, “I want to lose 20 pounds by the summer” or “I want to add 50 pounds to my bench press in the next 12 weeks.”
The problem with this is that if we don’t magically hit the arbitrary timeline that we set in the beginning, then we feel like a failure … even if we are better off than we were at the start. The end result, sadly, is that we often give up if we don’t reach our goal by the initial deadline.
I’ve mentioned this idea multiple times before. For example, in making the mistake of putting performance goals before your identity or in choosing life–changing transformations over daily lifestyle choices.
Here’s the good news: there’s a better way and it’s simple.
The Power of Setting a Schedule, Not a Deadline
In my experience, a better way to approach your goals is to set a schedule to operate by rather than a deadline to perform by.Instead of giving yourself a deadline to accomplish a particular goal by (and then feeling like a failure if you don’t achieve it), you should choose a goal that is important to you and then set a schedule to work towards it consistently.
That might not sound like a big shift, but it is.
How to Achieve Your Goals: The Idea in Practice
Most of the time, I try to be a practitioner of my ideas and not just someone who shares their opinion, so allow me to explain this strategy by using two real examples from my own life.Example 1: Writing
As you know, I publish a new article every Monday and Thursday. Since my first article on November 12, 2012, I’ve never missed a scheduled date. Sometimes the article is shorter than expected, sometimes it’s not as compelling as I had hoped, and sometimes it’s not as useful as it could be … but it gets out to the world and into your inbox.
The results of this simple schedule have been amazing. Our little community has grown, seemingly without effort. We now have over 1,100 people (welcome friends!) who are committed to living a healthy life and who are actively supporting one another. Onwards to 5,000 strong!
Imagine if I had set a deadline for myself instead, like “get 1,000 subscribers in 12 weeks.” There’s no way I would have written every Monday and Thursday and if I didn’t reach my goal, then I would have felt like a failure.
Instead, we are slowly building one of the most incredible communities online. (By the way, thank you for all of the emails, tweets, and messages on fat loss, lifting weights, living longer, and forming better habits. Keep them coming! I’m always happy to get your questions and I’ll do my best to help however I can.)
Example 2: Exercise
Back in August, I decided that I wanted to do 100 pushups in a row with strict form. When I tried it the first time, I only got 36.
In the past, I might have set a deadline for myself: “Do 100 pushups by December 31st.”
Instead, I decided to set a schedule for my workouts. I started doing pushup workouts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So far, the only workouts I’ve missed were on long travel days from this trip in Istanbul and this trip in San Francisco.
I have no total pushup goal for any single workout. The goal is simply to do the workout. Just like I have no goal for any single article that I write. The goal is to publish the article.
The result, of course, is that after doing 77 pushup workouts I’ve made a lot of progress. If you’re interested, you can see every workout here.
Focus on the Practice, Not the Performance
Do you see how the two examples above are different than most goals we set for ourselves?
In both cases (writing and exercise), I made consistent progress towards my goals not by setting a deadline for my performance, but by sticking to a schedule.
Productive and successful people practice the things that are important to them on a consistent basis. The best weightlifters are in the gym at the same time every week. The best writers are sitting down at the keyboard every day. And this same principle applies to the best leaders, parents, managers, musicians, and doctors.
The strange thing is that for top performers, it’s not about the performance, it’s about the continual practice.
The focus is on doing the action, not on achieving X goal by a certain date.
The schedule is your friend. You can’t predict when you’ll have a stroke of genius and write a moving story, paint a beautiful portrait, or make an incredible picture, but the schedule can make sure that you’re working when that stroke of genius happens.
You can’t predict when your body feels like setting a new personal record, but the schedule can make sure that you’re in the gym whether you feel like it or not.
It’s about practicing the craft, not performing at a certain level. (We’re talking about practice. Not a game, not a game. Practice.)
If you want to be the type of person who accomplishes things on a consistent basis, then give yourself a schedule to follow, not a deadline to race towards.
Source
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)