1 Hour Leadership Development Program - 14 Leadership Tips - Tips 5 - 9

Leadership Tips 5 of 14: Courage builder
Courage is the strength and power of leadership. Most people don't like to take risk. They don't even initiate opportunities, because of fear of losing or the change involved in it. People are afraid to take ownership of situation, either it be a good situation or bad situation. And, if it's a bad situation it's the blame game they play. Eliminate fear! The best way to control or win fear is to face it with mental strength and determination.

Leadership Tips 6 of 14: Creativity - cultivate different seeds
Creative ideas lead over experience and existing winners. It cuts every limit to success.
Stop doing the same thing over and over, stop imitating what others did. Most inventions or creative ideas evolve when men are alone, while day dreaming during their leisure time and when their mind is relaxed and full with positive energy.

Leadership Tips 7 of 14: Change adaptability
Learn to manage change. Life is full of choices and compromises. It's dynamic and changing. The environment around us is changing, society is changing, people are changing, technology is changing, and almost everything is changing. The best way to manage change is to embrace it. Anticipate it, monitor it, accept it, adapt to it & enjoy it. Make, 'change' part of your life, a leader is a continuous learner so he has to change continuously by enhancing skills and move forward.

Leadership Tips 8 of 14: Setting the environment
Set the office environment right, display or hang motivational posters, product banners, policy documents, incentive charts, mission statement etc around. Display employee performance chart and best performer awards and photos around. Establish a positive quality environment where the staffs are motivated to deliver their best.

Leadership Tips 9 of 14: Communication with understanding
The greatest road block in communication is our tendency to evaluate or make judgments once you hear or see something. This is our natural urge. We usually agree or disagree to a statement from our point of view. Suppose this statement on which you evaluate has greater emotions, feelings and a strong message then your reactions will be sensitive. Either you approve or disapprove the attitude expressed. This impulse to evaluate any emotionally meaningful statement from our point of view is what blocks interpersonal communication.

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"Focusing is about saying no" - Steve Jobs (WWDC'97)

How to Succeed on the Job and During a Search? It's What You Think, Stupid!

Your future success is determined by what you think about yourself right now. Your tomorrows are defined by your today's and what you think about all day long. So your future cannot be any more satisfying than the current opinions you hold of yourself.

By way of example, let's say that during grammar school one of your classmates said that you were a loser. You would hold on to that opinion of yourself to this very day. A negative byproduct of what you think about yourself is that you would be afraid to try new things for fear of failing.

And take the characteristics of poor people who become big lottery winners. They often lose it all. That's because they hold poverty opinions about themselves and are unable to invest their millions wisely. No matter how huge the jackpot they win, their reality is still one of being needy and of hardship. As a result of their thinking, they behave as poor people do.

You can change your mind

"If you believe that your current reality is fixed," said motivational author Louis C. Tice quoted on the Internet, "You get trapped in your own mistaken sense of ""This is the way it is."" You tend to think things are always going to be this way. But Tice says "the present is not permanent. You can change your mind."

What you think is how you'll act

When you possess a negative self-image, you'll act like the schlump you believe you are and always have been. So there's a need to change the image you have of you.

Happy talk

Self-image is a result of what we tell ourselves. If your self-talk is limiting, you are building limitation into your belief system. Always tell yourself who you want to be and what you want to have

Bloody Mary, a character in the Broadway play and movie South Pacific, knew this well when she sang:

"Happy talk, keep talking happy talk,Talk about things you'd like to do,
You gotta have a dream, if you don't have a dream,
How you gonna have a dream come true?"

You always act in line with the daydreams you've created for yourself

When you're able to visualize yourself as successful in your field of work, your subconscious will take over and change how and what you think and therefore act. This happens over a period of time as you work to match the new image of yourself that you hold in your head.

Tice sums it up nicely when he writes, "What you achieve is largely a matter of what you believe; in fact, you might say: believe equals achieve."

How to give yourself an attitude adjustment

So what's an attitude anyway? It's the stance you take and the outlook you have towards something or someone. You aren't born with the attitudes you hold. You've created them by habitual ways you think about a person, place, or situation. This thinking is habitual because attitudes have been programmed into you psyche..

An attitude you hold is positive when someone or something attracts you. The reverse is true when you retreat from something. In that case, you'll have a negative outlook.

Has someone ever accused you of having a bad attitude? If so, it meant you had a negative outlook because that person or situation repulsed you. On the other hand, if someone has complemented you by saying, "I like your attitude," it meant that person attracted you and you had a positive attitude towards her.

Attitude is neither good or bad until you have a goal. If your goal is to get a job in sales but are confronted with an established attitude about hating to ask for something in sales situations, you have a bad attitude. To succeed in a sales job you need to change your mind from fearing to ask for something-the order-to wanting to help customers achieve their goals by using and enjoying the wonderful product or service you provide.

Similarly, if you fear going on job interviews for the same reason, you must change your mind to wanting to show prospective employers how you can help them achieve their hiring goals.

You can eliminate lots of stress by changing your self-image from a person who fails to achieve, to one who deserves and seeks the goal he's after. This kind of visualization can help you to change your mind and your life by changing the picture you hold of yourself.

Two nice takeaways from this article

First, learn to control the way you talk to yourself or think about yourself. As an editor edits his copy, learn to edit your thoughts by substituting negative self-talk to positive and affirming "happy talk."

And second, visualize the end result you want to achieve in any area of life-from business and romance, to the job you want, the salary you deserve, and the kind work environment you desire.
Take it from Bloody Marty:

"You gotta have a dream, if you don't have a dream,

How you gonna have a dream come true?"

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5 Tips to Increase Your Assertiveness

Assertiveness is all about being present in a relationship,” according to Randy Paterson, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and author of The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships. In other words, you’re able to articulate your wants and needs to the other person, and you welcome their wants and needs as well. Being assertive is starkly different from being passive or aggressive. Paterson has a helpful analogy that distinguishes the differences. He explained:

In the passive style, all the world is allowed on stage but for you — your role is to be the audience and supporter for everyone else. In the aggressive style, you’re allowed on stage but you spend most of your time shoving the others off, like in a lifelong sumo match. With the assertive style, everyone is welcome onstage. You are entitled to be a full person, including your uniqueness, and so are others.

“Assertiveness involves advocating for yourself in a way that is positive and proactive,” said Joyce Marter, LCPC, psychotherapist and owner of Urban Balance, LLC. It also means being clear, direct and honest, she said.

For instance, if you’re upset with your boss over your performance review, you’re able to express your opinion in a diplomatic and professional way, she said. Again, this is very different from the other styles. If you’re passive, you might swallow your feelings and become resentful, which can chip away at your self-esteem and boost stress and anxiety, she said. If you’re aggressive, you might curse out your boss and quit. If you’re passive-aggressive, you might call in sick and give your boss the silent treatment, she said.

Why Some People Aren’t Assertive

Why are some people assertive while others aren’t? Many factors may contribute. Stress is one. “The fight-or-flight response is an evolutionary adaptation that pulls us toward aggression or avoidance, and away from calm, relaxed assertiveness,” Paterson said.

A person’s belief system also plays a role. According to Paterson, these assertive-sabotaging stances include: “Being nice means going along with others” or “It doesn’t matter if I’m assertive, no one will pay attention anyway” or “He’ll leave me!” That’s why it’s so important to become aware of these beliefs. “[This way you] can examine them clearly and rationally and decide what to do,” he said.

People with low self-esteem may feel inadequate and have a hard time finding their voice, Marter said. Others might fear conflict, losing a relationship, criticism or rejection, she said.

If you’re a woman, you might’ve been raised to set aside your needs and opinions and support and agree with others, Paterson said. If you’re a man, you might’ve been raised to react aggressively with a “my way or the highway” view, he said. Or just the opposite, you might want to be completely different. “[These individuals may be] fearful of provoking aggression when they are present in relationships, or of being ‘a jerk like my father was.’”

 

How to Be Assertive

Assertiveness is a skill that takes practice. It may always be easier for you to swallow your feelings, scream at someone or give them the silent treatment. But assertiveness is a better strategy. It works because it respects you and others.


As Paterson writes in The Assertiveness Workbook:

Through assertiveness we develop contact with ourselves and with others. We become real human beings with real ideas, real differences…and real flaws. And we admit all of these things. We don’t try to become someone else’s mirror. We don’t try to suppress someone else’s uniqueness. We don’t try to pretend that we’re perfect. We become ourselves. We allow ourselves to be there.

These are some ideas to get you started.

1. Start small. You wouldn’t try to scale a mountain before reading a manual, practicing on a rock wall and then moving on to bigger peaks. Going in unprepared just sets you up for failure. Paterson suggested trying to be assertive in mildly tense situations, such as requesting to be seated at a different spot at a restaurant. Then gently work up to tougher situations such as talking to your spouse about infidelity issues, he said.

2. Learn to say no. People worry that saying no is selfish. It’s not. Rather, setting healthy limits is important to having healthy relationships.


3. Let go of guilt. Being assertive can be tough — especially if you’ve been passive or a people pleaser most of your life. The first few times it can feel unnerving. But remember that being assertive is vital to your well-being. “Assertive behavior that involves advocating for oneself in a way that is respectful of others is not wrong — it is healthy self-care,” Marter said.

Sometimes, you might be unwittingly perpetuating your guilty feelings with negative thoughts or worries. “Replace negative thoughts — such as ‘I am a bad person for not loaning my friend money’ — with a positive mantra [such as] ‘I deserve to have financial stability and not put myself in jeopardy,’” she said.

Deep breathing also helps ease your worries and anxiety. “Breathe in what you need — peace, strength, serenity — and breathe out feelings of guilt, anxiety or shame.”
And if you still feel uncomfortable, put yourself in a compassionate parent or best friend’s shoes. “Sometimes it is easier to think about speaking up for somebody else who we love than it is for ourselves,” Marter said.

4. Express your needs and feelings. Don’t assume that someone will automatically know what you need. You have to tell them. Again, be specific, clear, honest and respectful, Marter said.

Take the example of ordering food at a restaurant, she said. You’d never just order a “sandwich.” Instead you’d request a “tuna on rye with slices of cheddar cheese and tomatoes.” If you’re worried of upsetting someone, use “I” statements, which usually make people less defensive.

According to Marter, instead of saying, “You have no clue what my life is like, and you are a selfish ass,” you might say, “I am exhausted and I need more help with the kids.” What also helps is tempering your anger and speaking from a place of hurt, she said, such as: “I feel so lonely and need you to spend time with me.”

“Focus on the real issue, not the minutiae,” she said. In other words, “are you really mad that the toilet seat was left up or that you were up with the baby five times the night before?” If it’s the baby — and it likely is — be clear and specific: “I am upset that I was up with the baby five times last night and need for you to get up at least twice a night.”

5. Check out resources on assertiveness. In addition to Paterson’s The Assertiveness Workbook, Marter recommended Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships (9th Edition) by Robert E. Alberti and Michael L. Emmons and Assertiveness: How to Stand Up for Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others by Judy Murphy. Paterson also suggested taking a course on effective communication.

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How to Be More Confident

5 Powerful Ways to Boost Your Confidence

Self-confident people are admired by others and inspire confidence in others. They face their fears head-on and tend to be risk takers. They know that no matter what obstacles come their way, they have the ability to get past them. Self-confident people tend to see their lives in a positive light even when things aren't going so well, and they are typically satisfied with and respect themselves.

Wouldn't it be amazing to have this kind of self-confidence, every day of the week? Guess what? You can.

"Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better." --Barrie Davenport

It comes down to one simple question: If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anybody else to?

Try some of the tips listed below. Don't just read them and put them on the back burner. Really begin to practice them daily, beginning today. You might have to fake it at first and merely appear to be self-confident, but eventually you will begin to feel the foundation of self-confidence grow within you. With some time and practice (this is not an overnight phenomenon), you too can be a self-confident person, both inside and out, whom others admire and say "Yes!" to.

1. Stay away from negativity and bring on the positivity

This is the time to really evaluate your inner circle, including friends and family. This is a tough one, but it's time to seriously consider getting away from those individuals who put you down and shred your confidence. Even a temporary break from Debbie Downer can make a huge difference and help you make strides toward more self-confidence.

Be positive, even if you're not feeling it quite yet. Put some positive enthusiasm into your interactions with others and hit the ground running, excited to begin your next project. Stop focusing on the problems in your life and instead begin to focus on solutions and making positive changes.

2. Change your body language and image

This is where posture, smiling, eye contact, and speech slowly come into play. Just the simple act of pulling your shoulders back gives others the impression that you are a confident person. Smiling will not only make you feel better, but will make others feel more comfortable around you. Imagine a person with good posture and a smile and you'll be envisioning someone who is self-confident.

Look at the person you are speaking to, not at your shoes--keeping eye contact shows confidence. Last, speak slowly. Research has proved that those who take the time to speak slowly and clearly feel more self-confidence and appear more self-confident to others. The added bonus is they will actually be able to understand what you are saying.

Go the extra mile and style your hair, give yourself a clean shave, and dress nicely. Not only will this make you feel better about yourself, but others are more likely to perceive you as successful and self-confident as well. A great tip: When you purchase a new outfit, practice wearing it at home first to get past any wardrobe malfunctions before heading out.

3. Don't accept failure and get rid of the negative voices in your head

Never give up. Never accept failure. There is a solution to everything, so why would you want to throw in the towel? Make this your new mantra. Succeeding through great adversity is a huge confidence booster.

Low self-confidence is often caused by the negative thoughts running through our minds on an endless track. If you are constantly bashing yourself and saying you're not good enough, aren't attractive enough, aren't smart enough or athletic enough, and on and on, you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. You are becoming what you are preaching inside your head, and that's not good. The next time you hear that negativity in your head, switch it immediately to a positive affirmation and keep it up until it hits the caliber of a self-confidence boost.

4. Be prepared

Learn everything there is to know about your field, job, presentation--whatever is next on your "to conquer" list. If you are prepared, and have the knowledge to back it up, your self-confidence will soar.

5. For tough times, when all else fails: Create a great list

Life is full of challenges and there are times when it's difficult to keep our self-confidence up. Sit down right now and make a list of all the things in your life that you are thankful for, and another list of all the things you are proud of accomplishing. Once your lists are complete, post them on your refrigerator door, on the wall by your desk, on your bathroom mirror--somewhere where you can easily be reminded of what an amazing life you have and what an amazing person you really are. If you feel your self-confidence dwindling, take a look at those lists and let yourself feel and be inspired all over again by you.

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BELIEVE IN YOURSELF - Motivational Video (ft. Jaret Grossman & Eric Thomas)

Quick Tips for Better Self Confidence

1) How to Feel Good When You Need to

Because self confidence and feeling good has a major 'hormonal' element, you can change the way you feel by re-living good times. If you can remember a time you felt really self confident, then excellent - use that! If not, then use a time you felt contented or happy. Taking deliberate control of your thoughts and emotions will have an huge impact on your self confidence and other areas of your life.

2) Beating Self Consciousness, Confidence Enemy No.1 

Although useful for learning about the impact you have on others, too much self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence. The trick is keeping your attention off yourself when you need to. Here's how...

a) When you feel self-conscious, (you can usually tell because you start to feel anxious), choose something outside of yourself to focus on and study it in detail. For example: examine a door, look at the different textures and shades of colour, wonder about who made it and how and so on. The important thing is that you're learning how to keep your attention off yourself.

It is a good idea to practise this technique in private first. Just sit quietly, practising focusing firstly on your own thoughts and then deliberately focusing outwards onto a picture or piece of furniture.

b) Social self confidence can be difficult to find sometimes because it is unclear what you are 'supposed to do'. In this event, concentrate on what your purpose in the situation is. Whether you're there to:

• find out if you like the other people present
• make others feel comfortable
• find out some information
• make business contacts
• and so on...

It's much more difficult to feel self-conscious if your mind is occupied with a task.
People are often most comfortable with others when working towards a common goal. The common goal of socialising could be making friends, the exchange of mutually beneficial information, expanding your knowledge of different types of people... it could be whatever you want it to be! The key is to have an aim.

3) Watch Out for Undue Criticism - Especially Your Own!

Have you noticed that people will speak to themselves in a way they would never speak to others? You know the sort of thing - you break a glass and it's "You stupid idiot. You can't do anything right can you?"
Criticism that leaves the receiver feeling upset or depressed is rarely useful.
Challenging your own assumptions about yourself and other people can really help build self confidence. Here's a few to get you started:

1. Those confident-looking people have bad moments too - you just don't get to hear about them!

2. If you feel under-confident, it doesn't mean other people can tell. They're often too caught up with their 'own stuff' to notice!

3. If you catch yourself saying things to yourself like "I'm no good at anything" then rest assured, you're wrong about that. Everyone can compose a sentence, get successfully to the store, eat without choking and do a million other things. Emotion can make things seem hopeless when they rarely are.

Don't let yourself make sweeping statements about yourself - in the long run it is this sort of thing that can really damage your self image. If this happens, say to yourself calmly and gently, "Hold on a minute, that's not true". If you can come up with some evidence that disproves the sweeping statement, then even better. It may take a bit of effort at first, but the impact on your self confidence levels is huge.

Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of yourself, it's about not thinking bad for no reason!

4. Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past doesn't mean you're always going to feel that way. I have seen hundreds of people surprise themselves once they have learned how to build self confidence in a way that it stays built!

The important thing is to get away from thinking "Why did that happen?", or "Why do I feel this way?" and towards "How would I like to feel?", "In what situations do I feel confident?" or, "What do I need to learn in order to have better self confidence in this situation?"

5. Persevere and don't expect everything at once. Really learn how to develop your self confidence by following the tips from this site and the free Self Confidence Course and notice the small differences as they happen. Building good self confidence is a wonderful thing, and it's much easier than you'd imagine.

Regular confidence boosts can make all the difference

 

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9 Ways To Build A Strong Character Everyone Loves

Some people are more likable than others, and that is mainly because of their unique character – outgoing, friendly, talkative, empathic, down-to-earth and honest people always have it easier. We use the term “character” almost on a daily basis, but how many of us actually know what a good character involves? People love loyal, courageous and moral people, and if you have decided to take your character and personality into your own hands, then here are some of the most important things you need to pay attention to:

1. Always Be Calm

There is no point in getting all heated up and overreacting – calmness can take you a very long way, as this state of serenity and quietude allows you to meditate and concentrate and, ultimately, to make the decision that benefits you the most. Calmness is undoubtedly one of the most notable traits of people with strong characters – if you manage to express yourself, your thoughts and your emotions in a calm and warm manner, that will certainly appeal to all those around you!

2. Avoid Drama At All Costs

Nobody likes drama queens – we all have our fair share of problems that we need to deal with, but drama and fatalism have never solved any issue so far. We are all responsible for the lives we live, and instead of trying to blame everybody else but yourself for your failure, you should take responsibility for your actions and do your best to change your destiny. Happiness is a state of mind that one often builds – you do not find happiness, you create it from scratch. Also, remember the law of attraction: what you think, you attract!

3. Steer Clear From Irrational Impulses

Irrational impulses are, sometimes, part of human nature – some people feel things more intensely than others, and this may lead to irrational actions sometimes. If you do not guard against these impulses, they can take their toll on your relationships and they can easily bypass your intellect as well. Sometimes, we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by fear or sadness, when ultimately it is entirely up to us to decide whether we are the slaves of our deepest fears or if we practice self-control.

4. Be A Truth Seeker

 

Everybody loves truth seekers – they would rather choose a tough and hurtful truth over a comforting lie, and that is certainly one of the most important markers of a strong character. Strong and rational people always doubt things and they examine all the facts – that is why they are rational, in the end. Strong people get rid of all their biases and prejudices and they are always in the pursuit of happiness, on all levels.

5. Be Courageous And Never Look Back

Fear is a perfectly normal and natural state – we are genetically programmed to feel fear during stressful situations, and every single person on Earth has felt it at least once. However, while some people wear their heart on their sleeve, others manage to masterfully disguise their fear and to let courage prevail – and this is precisely what you should do as well, if you have decided to make the best of your character. Face your obstacles and overcome them – do not run away, do not panic and always trust yourself.

6. Be Empathic

Being empathic is one of the most important and valued character traits – as a matter of fact, empathy is what makes us human. One of the most common misconceptions many people have these days is that showing empathy and warmth makes them look weak, when the truth is that only truly strong people, those who shine from within are able to be good and kind with others. Love those that surround you and always empathize with them, without expecting anything in return. Never judge people before walking a mile in their own shoes, for everybody is fighting a very hard battle that you know nothing about!

7. Be Confident

 

Self-confidence is very attractive and empowering – when you are confident in your own potential, you inspire other people to be the same, and everybody will love you for that. Confidence is a natural thing, and we are not born confident – instead, we learn how to build our confidence and how to respect and love ourselves. Throughout our lives, we go through numerous events that shatter our self-esteem, or that at least make it plummet. However, it is up to us to sail smoothly through all of these obstacles and never to accept failure or defeat as an option. Success is built upon itself, and that certainly requires a lot of time and effort – besides this, it is essential to acknowledge all your small accomplishments, instead of focusing only on your biggest failures. That is by far the best way to build confidence and, ultimately, to become a stronger person with a character everybody will love!

8. Always Maintain Your Reputation And Your Image

Your reputation is one of your most valuable assets, as it takes years to build a good reputation within your circle of friends, and only a few seconds to have it shattered. People always love and respect those with a good reputation and a flawless personal integrity, and you must do your best to keep your reputation impeccable, as long as this does not require you to sacrifice other qualities, such as honesty. Always be true to who you are, and remember that there are some people who might look up to you for inspiration.

9. Be Courteous And Polite With Everybody

Being courteous will never become old-fashioned, for people will always appreciate good manners. However, when it comes to courtesy, it must be said that everybody can be courteous and nice with their friends and with people they generally like – the true challenge arises from being courteous with those you dislike! If you manage to do so and still keep it real at the end of the day, then you have managed to strengthen your character to a greater extent than you might have bargained for, and your friends and relatives will undoubtedly appreciate that.

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