3 Very Small Ways To Become A Better Speaker

I don't mind telling you that I'd like to become a better speaker. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that because of the importance of public speaking you pretty much feel the same way. However, we always face the big challenge - what do we need to do in order to become better? Should we run away for a week in the woods with a speaking guru? Perhaps, but it turns out that there are a number of small things that we can do that will have a big impact on how good of a speaker we become.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

All too often I run into speakers who are not happy. When I talk with them and try to find out what's up, more often than not what I discover is that somebody has done something that this person feels has wronged them. What they have forgotten is that ultimately, they are the ones who are in control of how they feel and if they are going to feel happy, then it's going to be all up to them.

Being a speaker is tough work - it truly takes a lot of energy out of all of us. If you choose to be unhappy, then you are going to discover that being unhappy also takes a lot of work. You'll have less energy to give to your speeches. It's not worth it so don't be unhappy. Develop a positive attitude and you'll be ready to all of the opportunities and challenges that come along with being a speaker.

Did You Remember To Smile Today?

I don't know about you, but I sure wish that I had the ability to control other people. It just seems like everything would go that much easier because everyone would be doing exactly what I wanted them to do. I don't have that ability, but I do have the ability to change other people's moods. All I have to do is to smile at them.

When you smile at someone they really have no choice about what they are going to do next. They are almost forced to smile back at you. When they do this, something happens and all of a sudden they just feel better. What this means is that they now associate you with feeling better. From that association great things can happen. And it all started with just a smile.

Don't Forget Your Sense Of Humor

There are a lot of serious things that we deal with in this life. However, if we don't have a sense of humor then when the unexpected happens we are going to be poorly equipped to handle it. If when something happens, you are just going to stand there and look upset, then that is exactly how your audience is going to be feeling.

Instead, what you need to do is to develop the ability to roll with events as they occur. Look at everything that happens to you and find the lighter side of it. I'm not talking about trying to memorize jokes here, rather I'm talking about having the ability to see events as they unfold and to make your audience laugh about being part of it. If you can get good at this, then you'll be able to keep your audience focused on you even as the unexpected happens.

What All Of This Means For You

When we think about becoming a better speaker, I'm pretty sure that we all picture going off to some military style boot camp where drill sergeants run us through speaking exercises day and night until we can do them in our sleep. Such a place may exist, but it turns out that becoming a better speaker and maximizing the benefits of public speaking is actually much easier to accomplish.

The first thing that we need to understand is that we control our mood - nobody else does. What this means for you is that if you want to be happy, it's going to be up to you to make it happen, not someone else. Next, we have the ability to influence how other people feel. All we have to do is to smile at them and they'll smile back at us. This makes everyone feel better. Finally, when you head off to speak, make sure that you take your sense of humor along. We don't control the world so as things happen, make sure that you and your audience can laugh at them.

When you realize that becoming a better speaker is not only fairly easy to do, but is also in your hands to accomplish, all of sudden this starts to seem like it might be something that you could accomplish. The three things that we've discussed are easy to do. Give it a try and see what comes of it!

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7 Helpful Tips To Sustain Your Motivation

When it pertains to getting things done, motivation can be hard to come by. Yet, that is precisely what is required. A small amount of motivation is needed to do little, simple things, like brushing your teeth. Larger jobs require more motivation to complete.

But how do you find motivation when you have none?

Discover how to really motivate yourself and you'll achieve more:

1. Use pain. If you cannot complete a specific job, what are the consequences? It may simply be the inconvenience of having more to do the following day. Or it could be the possibility of someone stopping by and seeing how dirty your home is.
Create several good reasons why failing to do complete a task would be painful to you.

2. Use satisfaction. Saving back £25 today might not be too exciting, but the vacation getaway you'll be taking next year is pretty terrific. Remind yourself of all the advantages you'll receive. Make a long list that will help to keep the fire burning inside to effectively handle those undesirable or dull tasks.
Envision the future you expect to enjoy from getting your jobs completed. Rehearse your successes in your mind over and over. Produce an image that motivates you take the next action enthusiastically.

3. Set short-term objectives. It's hard to stay motivated on a goal for more than 8-10 weeks. So, if you have a goal that will require a year to achieve, you'll run out of gas before you achieve success.
Break objectives that take a prolonged amount of time into smaller sized goals that can be achieved within 2 months.
To paraphrase Henry Ford, "If you take a large job, and break it into small parts, you'll make it easy."
 
4. Make the job more satisfying. Raking the leaves might seem like a terrible way to spend the afternoon, but what if you listened to your favorite music while you raked? You could even invite a few friends over for a cookout and ask them each to bring a rake, for a "barbecue raking" party!
Ask yourself, "How can I make this task as pleasurable as possible?" then listen to the responses you get.

5. Give yourself a reward. You would not go to work daily if you didn't earn money. The benefit you get suffices to keep you returning every day. Apply the very same idea to keep your motivation high enough to get things done. Think about a couple of things you truly take pleasure in and utilize them as motivation.

Just feeling pleased with your achievements can be a type of reward. Those that struggle with motivation are often hard on themselves. Enjoy your accomplishments and you can be sure to enjoy more progress in the future.

6. Take a deep breath. Few things will drain your motivation faster than an over-stimulated mind. Stay clear on what you're attempting to achieve and concentrate on the most direct path to obtain it. Deal with one task before moving on to another.
Keep your brain focused on your current job. Meditation is an effective tool for learning how to focus better.

7. Include another person. Going to the fitness center daily can be difficult. However if you know your exercise partner is awaiting you, it's harder to stay home. The presence of others can increase your level of commitment. Reach out to a friend.

Without motivation, willpower is the only option, and willpower is far more difficult to sustain than motivation. Learning how to control your motivation comes with learning how to manage yourself. There's little that can't be accomplished when you find out how manipulate your level of motivation. Even the most difficult jobs end up being manageable.

 

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Quick Tips for Better Self Confidence

1) How to Feel Good When You Need to

Because self confidence and feeling good has a major 'hormonal' element, you can change the way you feel by re-living good times. If you can remember a time you felt really self confident, then excellent - use that! If not, then use a time you felt contented or happy. Taking deliberate control of your thoughts and emotions will have an huge impact on your self confidence and other areas of your life.

2) Beating Self Consciousness, Confidence Enemy No.1 

Although useful for learning about the impact you have on others, too much self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence. The trick is keeping your attention off yourself when you need to. Here's how...

a) When you feel self-conscious, (you can usually tell because you start to feel anxious), choose something outside of yourself to focus on and study it in detail. For example: examine a door, look at the different textures and shades of colour, wonder about who made it and how and so on. The important thing is that you're learning how to keep your attention off yourself.

It is a good idea to practise this technique in private first. Just sit quietly, practising focusing firstly on your own thoughts and then deliberately focusing outwards onto a picture or piece of furniture.

b) Social self confidence can be difficult to find sometimes because it is unclear what you are 'supposed to do'. In this event, concentrate on what your purpose in the situation is. Whether you're there to:

• find out if you like the other people present
• make others feel comfortable
• find out some information
• make business contacts
• and so on...

It's much more difficult to feel self-conscious if your mind is occupied with a task.
People are often most comfortable with others when working towards a common goal. The common goal of socialising could be making friends, the exchange of mutually beneficial information, expanding your knowledge of different types of people... it could be whatever you want it to be! The key is to have an aim.

3) Watch Out for Undue Criticism - Especially Your Own!

Have you noticed that people will speak to themselves in a way they would never speak to others? You know the sort of thing - you break a glass and it's "You stupid idiot. You can't do anything right can you?"
Criticism that leaves the receiver feeling upset or depressed is rarely useful.
Challenging your own assumptions about yourself and other people can really help build self confidence. Here's a few to get you started:

1. Those confident-looking people have bad moments too - you just don't get to hear about them!

2. If you feel under-confident, it doesn't mean other people can tell. They're often too caught up with their 'own stuff' to notice!

3. If you catch yourself saying things to yourself like "I'm no good at anything" then rest assured, you're wrong about that. Everyone can compose a sentence, get successfully to the store, eat without choking and do a million other things. Emotion can make things seem hopeless when they rarely are.

Don't let yourself make sweeping statements about yourself - in the long run it is this sort of thing that can really damage your self image. If this happens, say to yourself calmly and gently, "Hold on a minute, that's not true". If you can come up with some evidence that disproves the sweeping statement, then even better. It may take a bit of effort at first, but the impact on your self confidence levels is huge.

Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of yourself, it's about not thinking bad for no reason!

4. Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past doesn't mean you're always going to feel that way. I have seen hundreds of people surprise themselves once they have learned how to build self confidence in a way that it stays built!

The important thing is to get away from thinking "Why did that happen?", or "Why do I feel this way?" and towards "How would I like to feel?", "In what situations do I feel confident?" or, "What do I need to learn in order to have better self confidence in this situation?"

5. Persevere and don't expect everything at once. Really learn how to develop your self confidence by following the tips from this site and the free Self Confidence Course and notice the small differences as they happen. Building good self confidence is a wonderful thing, and it's much easier than you'd imagine.

Regular confidence boosts can make all the difference

 

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