Wednesday 30 November 2016

42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself - Part 2

This is Part 2 of 42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself

11. Write a letter to your future self. What do you see yourself as 5 years from now? Will you be the same? Different?  What kind of person will you be? Write a letter to your future self – 1 year from now will be a good start – and seal it. Make a date in your calendar to open it 1 year from now. Then start working to become the person you want to open that letter.



12. Get out of your comfort zone. Real growth comes with hard work and sweat. Being too comfortable doesn’t help us grow – it makes us stagnate. What is your comfort zone? Do you stay in most of the time? Do you keep to your own space when out with other people? Shake your routine up. Do something different. By exposing yourself to a new context, you’re literally growing as you learn to act in new circumstances.



13. Put someone up to a challenge. Competition is one of the best ways to grow. Set a challenge (weight loss, exercise, financial challenge, etc) and compete with an interested friend to see who achieves the target first. Through the process, both of you will gain more than if you were to set off on the target alone.


14. Identify your blind spots. Scientifically, blind spots refer to areas our eyes are not capable of seeing. In personal development terms, blind spots are things about ourselves we are unaware of. Discovering our blind spots help us discover our areas of improvement. One exercise I use to discover my blind spots is to identify all the things/events/people that trigger me in a day – trigger meaning making me feel annoyed/weird/affected. These represent my blind spots. It’s always fun to do the exercise because I discover new things about myself, even if I may already think I know my own blind spots (but then they wouldn’t be blind spots would they?). After that, I work on steps to address them.



15. Ask for feedback. As much as we try to improve, we will always have blind spots. Asking for feedback gives us an additional perspective. Some people to approach will be friends, family, colleagues, boss, or even acquaintances, since they will have no preset bias and can give their feedback objectively.



16. Stay focused with to-do lists. I start my day with a list of tasks I want to complete and this helps make me stay focused. In comparison, the days when I don’t do this end up being extremely unproductive. For example, part of my to-do list for today is to write a guest post at LifeHack.Org, and this is why I’m writing this now! Since my work requires me to use my computer all the time, I use Free Sticky Notes to manage my to-do lists. It’s really simple to use and it’s a freeware, so I recommend you check it out.



17. Set Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs). I’m a big fan of setting BHAGs. BHAGs stretch you beyond your normal capacity since they are big and audacious – you wouldn’t think of attempting them normally. What are BHAGs you can embark on, which you’ll feel absolutely on top of the world once you complete them? Set them and start working on them.



18. Acknowledge your flaws. Everyone has flaws. What’s most important is to understand them, acknowledge them, and address them. What do you think are your flaws? What are the flaws you can work on now? How do you want to address them?



19. Get into action. The best way to learn and improve is to take action. What is something you have been meaning to do? How can you take action on it immediately? Waiting doesn’t get anything done. Taking action gives you immediate results to learn from.



20. Learn from people who inspire you. Think about people you admire. People who inspire you. These people reflect certain qualities you want to have for yourself too. What are the qualities in them you want to have for yourself? How can you acquire these qualities?


Source

Monday 28 November 2016

42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself - Part 1

Are you someone who likes to grow? Do you constantly seek to improve yourself and become better?

If you do, then we have something in common. I’m very passionate about personal growth. It was just 4 years ago when I discovered my passion for growing and helping others grow. At that time, I was 22 and in my final year of university. As I thought about the meaning of life, I realized there was nothing more meaningful than to pursue a life of development and betterment. It is through improving ourselves that we get the most out of life.

After 1.5 years of actively pursuing growth and helping others to grow through my personal development blog, I realize there is never an end to the journey of self improvement. The more I grow, the more I realize there is so much out there I don’t know, so much that I have to learn. For sure, there is always something about ourselves we can improve on. The human potential is limitless, so it’s impossible to reach a point of no growth. Whenever we think we are good, we can be even better.

As a passionate advocate of growth, I’m continuously looking for ways to self-improve. I’ve compiled 42 of my best tips which might be helpful in your personal growth journey. Some of them are simple steps which you can engage in immediately. Some are bigger steps which takes conscious effort to act on. Here they are:

1. Read a book every day. Books are concentrated sources of wisdom. The more books you read, the more wisdom you expose yourself to. What are some books you can start reading to enrich yourself? Some books I’ve read and found useful are Think and Grow Rich, Who Moved My Cheese, 7 Habits, The Science of Getting Rich and Living the 80/20 Way. I’ve heard positive reviews for The Tipping Point, Outliers and The Difference Maker, so I’ll be checking them out soon.


2. Learn a new language. As a Singaporean Chinese, my main languages are English, Mandarin and Hokkien (a Chinese dialect). Out of interest, I took up language courses in the past few years such as Japanese and Bahasa Indonesian. I realized learning a language is a whole new skill altogether and the process of acquainting with a new language and culture is a totally a mind-opening experience.


3. Pick up a new hobby. Beyond just your usual favorite hobbies, is there something new you can pick up? Any new sport you can learn? Examples are fencing, golf, rock climbing, football, canoeing, or ice skating. Your new hobby can also be a recreational hobby. For example, pottery, Italian cooking, dancing, wine appreciation, web design, etc.  Learning something new requires you to stretch yourself in different aspects, whether physically, mentally or emotionally.



4. Take up a new course. Is there any new course you can join? Courses are a great way to gain new knowledge and skills. It doesn’t have to be a long-term course – seminars or workshops serve their purpose too. I’ve been to a few workshops and they have helped me gain new insights which I had not considered before.




5. Create an inspirational room. Your environment sets the mood and tone for you. If you are living in an inspirational environment, you are going to be inspired every day. In the past, I didn’t like my room at all because I thought it was messy and dull. A few years ago, I decided this was the end of it – I started on a “Mega Room Revamp” project and overhauled my room. The end result? A room I totally relish being in and inspires me to be at my peak every day.


6. Overcome your fears. All of us have fears. Fear of uncertainty, fear of public speaking, fear of risk… All our fears  keep us in the same position and prevent us from growing. Recognize that your fears reflect areas where you can grow. I always think of fears as the compass for growth. If I have a fear about something, it represents something I’ve yet to address, and addressing it helps me to grow.



7. Level up your skills. If you have played video games before especially RPGs, you’ll know the concept of leveling up – gaining experience so you can be better and stronger. As a blogger, I’m constantly leveling up my writing skills. As a speaker, I’m constantly leveling up my public engagement abilities. What skills can you level up?




8. Wake up early. Waking up early (say, 5-6am) has been acknowledged by many (Anthony Robbins, Robin Sharma, among other self-help gurus) to improve your productivity and your quality of life. I feel it’s because when you wake up early, your mindset is already set to continue the momentum and proactively live out the day. Seth recently wrote a waking up early series which you should check out to help cultivate this habit.



9. Have a weekly exercise routine. A better you starts with being in better physical shape. I personally make it a point to jog at least 3 times a week, at least 30 minutes each time. You may want to mix it up with jogging, gym lessons and swimming for variation.



10. Start your life handbook. A life handbook is an idea I started 3 years ago. Basically, it’s a book which contains the essentials on how you can live your life to the fullest, such as your purpose, your values and goals. Sort of like your manual for your life. I started my life handbook since 2007 and it’s been a crucial enabler in my progress.


Tuesday 22 November 2016

7 Simple Steps To Build Rapport Instantly


Does building rapport seem like some sort of mysterious skill you just don’t seem to posses? Worry not! With these seven simple steps, you’ll move from stranger to buddy with just about anybody in almost no time at all.

1) Smile sincerely.

A genuine I-love-my-life, isn’t-it-a-wonderful-day, what-could-be-better-than-this-moment smile is the best way to invite someone new into your world. Smiling at someone communicates a lot of information very quickly. A smile says, “Hello! I’m not threatening. And I like you,” all in a simple gesture that takes less than a second. There is a catch though: if you’re feeling tense and smiling anyway, people will notice. Don’t force a smile when you’re not feeling happy, instead, find a way to enjoy the moment and produce a genuine smile. Forced or tense smiles will not build rapport and will likely leave the recipient feeling confused and suspicious.

2) Make eye contact.

Eye contact is another way to quickly communicate a lot of information. Eye contact tells the other person that you care about what they’re saying. It lets others know that you’re paying attention and noticing them. Eye contact can also convey a lot of emotional content, we can easily tell by looking someone in the eye whether they’re feeling happy, sad, confused, irritated or shy. Take note of your observations as you make eye contact‒you’ll use them in a later step to build even more rapport very quickly.

3) Mirror the other person.

We humans are social creatures, and scientists have found that when we’re feeling connected to one another, we often mirror each other’s physical posture and movement. Have you ever noticed how when you’re on a really great date, you tend to take a drink at the very same time? That’s called social mirroring and you can use it to help build rapport. Again, it doesn’t work well to awkwardly fake this; instead, tune into the person you’re connecting with and allow your body to naturally begin to mirror the other person’s posture. You might lean in, smile at the same times or touch your face. Or, if the other person is more closed off and distant, you may cross your arms, lean back or look away. Either way, you’re building rapport, because when someone is feeling distant, they will still feel more connected to someone else who is equally distant than they would to someone barging into their space.

4) Touch to convey camaraderie.

If you’re noticing some connection happening already, physical touch can be a great way to take things even further. A handshake, a pat on the back or a shoulder nudge convey a sense of friendship and camaraderie. You do need to be careful not to overdo this one though. Too much physical touch too early can come off as needy and desperate. But if used sparingly, you can almost always find a good excuse for some kind of physical touch. Getting someone’s attention by touching their shoulder is a socially acceptable form of touch, even for strangers. And there’s just something comforting about being around people who are okay with physical touch.

5) Get curious.

If there’s one universal human truth, it’s that people love to talk about themselves. So the more curious you can be about another person, and the better a listener you are, the more likely others are able to feel comfortable and walk away from an interaction liking you. Imagine your own experiences of the opposite. Have you ever met someone who wouldn’t let you get a word in edgewise? This person just kept talking about themselves all night long without even a question for you and certainly without a concern about how incredibly bored you were. Don’t be that person. Instead, get genuinely curious about what makes this other person tick. What are their likes and dislikes? What are they passionate about? What are their dreams? Building rapport is all about showing an interest in the other person and being likable. So trust me; let them do more of the talking and you’ll build better rapport every single time.


6) Appreciate, and show it.

On the other hand, you can’t just check out and forget what the other person is sharing. You do have to actually stay engaged, and one of the best ways to be joyfully engaged is to practice appreciation. When we’re enjoying and appreciating someone else, we naturally do the things I’ve already mentioned. We smile more, make more eye contact, reach out to touch them, mirror their posture and want to know more about them. But sharing your appreciation is where it becomes an art form.
Sure, a lot of your appreciation comes across in your body language or the kind look in your eye, but if you want to kick things up a notch, try verbally sharing something specific that you’re appreciating. “Wow, I noticed that when you talked about your mom, your smile was so warm and I could just feel how much you love her. It’s heartwarming to be around someone who loves their mom as much as you do.” Or, “Ha! When you just mentioned that thing about your boss, I thought, wow, I’m glad we don’t work together! You’re feisty and I like it!” One more note on this: the more authentic and real you can be as you share what you’re appreciating, the better. Just making something up or saying something canned won’t come across as genuine. Instead, find something you truly appreciate, even if it seems odd or off-the-wall. Everyone I know would prefer a unique but real moment of appreciation to some canned line about pretty eyes.


7) Share a highlight.

In the same vein, after you’ve been talking for a while, but before the conversation ends, share a highlight with the other person. This leaves them with a moment in time that you most enjoyed during your encounter, and it almost always garners a smile and a, “wow, that was fun,” kind of feeling. For example, “It’s been really great talking with you, and you know, my favorite moment was when I told you that joke and you almost spit your drink out all over the table. That was awesome.” Or, “I’ve really had fun talking with you, but I felt the closest to you when you got all choked up talking about your dad. Thanks for sharing that with me.”



So there you have it: seven simple steps to quickly building rapport with anybody! I would love to hear how it goes, so please feel free to try these out and report back.

Source

Friday 18 November 2016

9 Ways To Build A Strong Character Everyone Loves

Some people are more likable than others, and that is mainly because of their unique character – outgoing, friendly, talkative, empathic, down-to-earth and honest people always have it easier. We use the term “character” almost on a daily basis, but how many of us actually know what a good character involves? People love loyal, courageous and moral people, and if you have decided to take your character and personality into your own hands, then here are some of the most important things you need to pay attention to:

1. Always Be Calm

There is no point in getting all heated up and overreacting – calmness can take you a very long way, as this state of serenity and quietude allows you to meditate and concentrate and, ultimately, to make the decision that benefits you the most. Calmness is undoubtedly one of the most notable traits of people with strong characters – if you manage to express yourself, your thoughts and your emotions in a calm and warm manner, that will certainly appeal to all those around you!



2. Avoid Drama At All Costs

Nobody likes drama queens – we all have our fair share of problems that we need to deal with, but drama and fatalism have never solved any issue so far. We are all responsible for the lives we live, and instead of trying to blame everybody else but yourself for your failure, you should take responsibility for your actions and do your best to change your destiny. Happiness is a state of mind that one often builds – you do not find happiness, you create it from scratch. Also, remember the law of attraction: what you think, you attract!



3. Steer Clear From Irrational Impulses

Irrational impulses are, sometimes, part of human nature – some people feel things more intensely than others, and this may lead to irrational actions sometimes. If you do not guard against these impulses, they can take their toll on your relationships and they can easily bypass your intellect as well. Sometimes, we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by fear or sadness, when ultimately it is entirely up to us to decide whether we are the slaves of our deepest fears or if we practice self-control.



4. Be A Truth Seeker
 
Everybody loves truth seekers – they would rather choose a tough and hurtful truth over a comforting lie, and that is certainly one of the most important markers of a strong character. Strong and rational people always doubt things and they examine all the facts – that is why they are rational, in the end. Strong people get rid of all their biases and prejudices and they are always in the pursuit of happiness, on all levels.



5. Be Courageous And Never Look Back

Fear is a perfectly normal and natural state – we are genetically programmed to feel fear during stressful situations, and every single person on Earth has felt it at least once. However, while some people wear their heart on their sleeve, others manage to masterfully disguise their fear and to let courage prevail – and this is precisely what you should do as well, if you have decided to make the best of your character. Face your obstacles and overcome them – do not run away, do not panic and always trust yourself.



6. Be Empathic

Being empathic is one of the most important and valued character traits – as a matter of fact, empathy is what makes us human. One of the most common misconceptions many people have these days is that showing empathy and warmth makes them look weak, when the truth is that only truly strong people, those who shine from within are able to be good and kind with others. Love those that surround you and always empathize with them, without expecting anything in return. Never judge people before walking a mile in their own shoes, for everybody is fighting a very hard battle that you know nothing about!



7. Be Confident
 
Self-confidence is very attractive and empowering – when you are confident in your own potential, you inspire other people to be the same, and everybody will love you for that. Confidence is a natural thing, and we are not born confident – instead, we learn how to build our confidence and how to respect and love ourselves. Throughout our lives, we go through numerous events that shatter our self-esteem, or that at least make it plummet. However, it is up to us to sail smoothly through all of these obstacles and never to accept failure or defeat as an option. Success is built upon itself, and that certainly requires a lot of time and effort – besides this, it is essential to acknowledge all your small accomplishments, instead of focusing only on your biggest failures. That is by far the best way to build confidence and, ultimately, to become a stronger person with a character everybody will love!



8. Always Maintain Your Reputation And Your Image

Your reputation is one of your most valuable assets, as it takes years to build a good reputation within your circle of friends, and only a few seconds to have it shattered. People always love and respect those with a good reputation and a flawless personal integrity, and you must do your best to keep your reputation impeccable, as long as this does not require you to sacrifice other qualities, such as honesty. Always be true to who you are, and remember that there are some people who might look up to you for inspiration.



9. Be Courteous And Polite With Everybody

Being courteous will never become old-fashioned, for people will always appreciate good manners. However, when it comes to courtesy, it must be said that everybody can be courteous and nice with their friends and with people they generally like – the true challenge arises from being courteous with those you dislike! If you manage to do so and still keep it real at the end of the day, then you have managed to strengthen your character to a greater extent than you might have bargained for, and your friends and relatives will undoubtedly appreciate that.







 

Sunday 13 November 2016

The Four-Part Formula to Getting More Grit

On January 10th, 2015, a first-stage rocket crashed onto a barge floating on the south Atlantic ocean.

The rocket, used to propel a second-stage craft into orbit around the Earth, was expected to free-fall back to Earth and use a complex system of thrusters to land upright on a futuristic, self-navigating, drone barge.

The rocket slightly miscalculated the landing, crashing hard onto the barge.

At anywhere from $40,000,000 to $846,000,000 a pop, rocket launches are difficult to budget for. The tens of millions of dollars it costs to conduct a low-orbit launch are hard to sell, which partially explains why the United States government-led NASA abandoned their space shuttle program in 2011.

Yet, SpaceX--the spaceflight company created by Telsa founder and PayPal co-founder Elon Musk--had imagined a way to drastically cut the cost of launching anything into space: simply make the rocket re-usable.

They constructed a rocket which could theoretically launch, release a payload, and land vertically minutes after take-off in order to be refueled and launched again at a later time, indefinitely.



Their first attempt to land the rocket at sea failed, but not enough to deter Musk and the SpaceX team. They repaired the rocket and made adjustments based on data they received from the crash, then tried the landing again. And again they failed. They tried again, and failed again.

Each attempt to safely land the first-stage rocket ended in a hard landing, leading to months of costly repairs and improvements. But each failed landing also uncovered information the team could take to improve their systems and the rocket itself.

Finally on April 8th, 2016, for their fifth attempt, SpaceX accomplished the task of launching a payload into space and landing the first-stage rocket safely on a floating barge in the middle of the ocean.

What led the team to keep trying, even after their first failed attempt? Musk himself is quoted as having said of their first flight: "If the vehicle does not become reusable, I will consider us to have failed."

They did fail, and yet they didn't give up. Why?

The answer lies in Musk and co's remarkable amount of grit. Research has shown that grit is even more important than intelligence or talent when it comes to succeeding. Even the most triumphant among us occasionally fail. What they don't do is quit.

How can you become more resilient, is grit something we can control or develop?
Just ask Angela Duckworth, a Harvard graduate and psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania. Duckworth specializes in the psychology of grit, she's spent the bulk of her career studying it.

On the question of whether or not grit is something you can develop, Duckworth explains in a podcast for Freakonomics.com:
"What specifically are gritty people like? What do they do when they wake up in the morning? What beliefs do gritty people walk around with in their heads? When you get to that level of specifics, you realize there's no reason why these things couldn't be taught, practiced, or learned."
What are gritty people like? There are four things Duckworth explains that make up the formulate to developing more grit:

1. Practice

Deliberate practice means learning as you go, getting feedback from your experience as well as from others.


The SpaceX team didn't attempt to land on a barge in the ocean from the get-go, they instead practiced with lighter rockets, on land first. Once they mastered that, they attempted the sea landing.
Any time they failed they merely thought of it as having had been another practice attempt.

2. Purpose

Purpose is anything you can develop an interest in over long term. Practice is useless if what you're practicing is something you don't feel purposeful about or can be highly interested in.


Of course, the word purpose gets thrown around a lot. What's important isn't that you find some natural calling, but instead find something you can readily dive deeper into the more you learn.
For SpaceX, that meant not only developing a rocket which could launch and land upright, but also meant exploring secondary and tertiary parts of the project: like a drone barge.

3. Hope

Failure is often inevitable, but if we learn to embrace failure as an opportunity to learn, improve, and then get back up again, we're more likely to succeed in future attempts.



To develop more grit you must start with hope, and learn that it's alright to fail as long as you don't give up or quit.

4. Time

The last part of the grit formula is simply time. Time to devote yourself to practice, purpose, and developing from failure.



Having something you can be highly interested in, something you can deliberately practice and readily get feedback on, something where you hope that you can succeed, are all important The key is, of course, giving yourself time to practice and learn and stay in the game.

Source: 

Friday 11 November 2016

The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

A History Of Motivation

Through much of history the idea of motivating people has focused on the external factors. The threat of death helped drive people to pull large rocks around to build temples; while the sniff of large rewards encourages people do things they’d otherwise find repulsive. 

The idea of a job rests in this premise. So does school. Put in the effort and you’ll be rewarded with good grades and a high salary, spend your time doodling pictures and passing messages and you’ll fail the class or lose your job.




For a long time this method worked – or at least it sufficed. All those routine, repetitive, mundane tasks that were uninspiring, could be made more persuasive with the right external motivator.
Then in came the 21st century, and with it, machines and computers. No longer did we need humans for the routine tasks, we could rely on stronger, faster, and more reliable mechanical systems.

This change left us humans with what the machines couldn’t do: Be creative. All the jobs and requirements of this new age now rest in our ability to be complex thinkers, to be innovative, to think outside the box.

This change has taken the work away from our physical bodies, and put it into the power of our minds. It’s here that these external motivators go awry.

Finding The Third Drive

Harry Harlow found that our views on motivation were inadequate in his experiments with monkeys. He noticed that monkeys were quicker to solve puzzles when they enjoyed it as opposed to those rewarded for it. 

The popular view at the time was that there existed two drives: the biological drive of hunger, thirst, and sex; and the drive of rewards and punishments. Harlow tried to remedy the issue by adding a third drive: intrinsic motivation, or the joy of the task itself.

People would come home from a long day at work, to paint, to write, to do a crossword, what caused them to do this? Intrinsic motivation helped to explain why people were driven to do things without the other motivators.




It seems intuitive that we have an internal drive, something that encourages us to seek intellectual pleasures and emotional thrills. But, outside of these personal pastimes, what does this motivation have to do with work?

It turns out that this intrinsic motivation can both encourage, and stand in the way of, the creative and complex thought that businesses today rely on.

Intrinsic Motivation Requires Intrinsic Rewards

In 1969 Edward Deci set out to study motivation. He used the Soma puzzle cube, a set of plastic shapes that can be assembled into larger shapes, with many different possibilities. He had two groups of participants go through three sessions of solving the puzzle.

In each session, participants sat at a table with the puzzle, drawings of three possible solutions, and three magazines. 

At first they all needed to try to create the solutions in the drawings while Deci timed them. The second time around was a little different, in that one group were going to be paid for each correct configuration while the others continued for free — not knowing that some people were being paid. The third time through, they were all to find solutions for no reward, just as in the first session.
Midway through each session, Deci told the participants that he needed to leave the room to get a fourth drawing, and would be gone only a few minutes. He was gone exactly eight minutes, but rather than getting a fourth picture, he observed what the participants did to occupy themselves in his absence. 

In the first session, all the participants continued using the puzzle for around 3 and a half minutes. In the second sessions, the group who were now being paid spent more than 5 minutes using it. Clearly the extra motivation was having an affect.


In the third and final session, those that had never been paid remained relatively consistent, in some cases using the puzzle for longer. The group who had been paid in the second session now lost their motivation, only spending 2 minutes on the puzzle.
“When money is used as an external reward for some activity, the subjects lose intrinsic interest for the activity.”
Money gets us going up to a point, for the average earner in the United States that point is around $75,000. After that, we need something different.
“The best use of money as a motivator is to pay people enough to take the issue of money off the table: Pay people enough so that they’re not thinking about money and they’re thinking about the work.”



We all need to earn a decent living, to be able to get by comfortably, but the long held assumption that more money means more motivation doesn’t hold up. In fact, more money for some tasks can result in less motivation. This is an important point for a time when our intellectual abilities are becoming more important.

In Dan Pinks Drive, he looks to three core intrinsic motivators that show us how to get motivated, and that can pull us above and beyond their external counterparts: Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose.

1. Autonomy

We need to be in control. Nobody likes to be bossed around and feel like they have no say in anything. 

Dan Pink notes that management is a human invention, an aging technology.
“Its central ethic is control; its chief tools remain extrinsic motivators. That leaves it largely out of sync with the non-routine, right-brain abilities on which many of the world’s economies now depend.”
Studies have found a link between autonomy and wellbeing in many different countries and cultures. Other studies have shown it’s positive effect on conceptual understanding, grades, persistence, productivity, fighting off burnout, and the aforementioned overall wellbeing.

Pink shows that there are four essential aspects of autonomy: our task, our time, our technique, and our team. With these under our terms, we gain true autonomy. 

Everybody is different, with this freedom we are able to chose to work at the times that we’re most productive, with the people that we work best with, on the tasks that we enjoy the most, and in the way that works for us. 




Control and direction are central aspects of being human, we’re built to be “players not pawns.”
We still need to work however, misconstruing freedom for the ability to do nothing defeats the purpose. It takes discipline to use that freedom in the right way, but if you truly enjoy what you’re doing that shouldn’t be a problem.

2. Mastery

Our interest withers when we feel like we’re not getting anywhere. That worked adequately for the routine work of the past, where jobs simply wanted compliance in exchange for money. Now we need engagement, a function that’s missing from the old model.

Engagement is the most important route to mastery and personal fulfillment. And, as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi notably discovered, the greatest point of engagement is when we enter a state of flow.

 In the flow state our self-consciousness disappears, our sense of time is warped, but our goals are clear. As Mihaly found, this state is described as the most satisfying time of peoples lives.
 
The requirements for entering this state are relatively simple: the challenge needs to be achievable, but it also needs to stretch you beyond your current abilities. 

Goldilocks tasks as Pink calls them, are activities that are neither too difficult nor too easy. If the task were too difficult we’d become anxious, if it were too easy we’d become bored. The middle ground is where flow happens.
“Throughout my athletics career, the overall goal was always to be a better athlete than I was at that moment — whether next week, next month or next year. The improvement was the goal.” — Sebastian Coe.
Pink defines mastery as a set of three laws: It’s a mindset, it’s painful, and it’s an asymptote.
Carol Dweck found that what people believe shapes what they achieve, and that our self-theories determine how we interpret our experiences. Often those that go further are those whose goal is to learn, not to prove they’re smart.



In a study of potential military cadets, the best predictor of success was the prospective ratings of grit. Mastery occurs through effort over a long time, which takes persistence and a passion for the goal. It can also be painful.

An asymptote is a curve that is forever approaching but never reaching it’s end. Pink notes that true mastery never occurs, and that “the joy is in the pursuit more than the realization.”

3. Purpose

What we’re involved in needs to transcend the self, to at least feel like we’re an essential piece to a much larger whole.
“People can be inspired to meet stretch goals and tackle impossible challenges, if they care about the outcome.” — Elizabeth Moss Kanter
Every now and again we stop to contemplate our lives, and often wonder where the time has gone. It’s here we can be struck by our own mortality, the idea that our lives are just not that long, and that we need to be something meaningful with them. 



Our purpose often comes in the form of doing something to help others. It’s something that can outlast our own lives.

Companies are popping up today whose mission is to pursue purpose, and to use profit as the catalyst rather than the objective. On a smaller scale many people are turning to volunteer work to fuel their purpose. 

How we spend our money is just as important as how much we make, and when we spend it on other people or on a cause, we increase our subjective well-being.
“One cannot lead a life that is truly excellent without feeling that one belongs to something greater and more permanent than oneself.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

The Life Mission

As Edward Deci notes, humans have an “inherent tendency to seek out novelty and challenges, to extend and exercise their capabilities, to explore, and to learn.”

Research shows that even when our goals are extrinsic, achieving that wealth rarely leads to greater happiness. Those who look towards the intrinsic goals, however, attain higher levels of satisfaction and well-being, and show lower levels of anxiety and depression.

The old “if-then” rewards are ineffective and often deleterious to our conceptual, complex, creative drives. And as such, need to make room for autonomy, mastery, and purpose. 

It brings up thoughts of a life mission. The external desires — money, clothing, housing — are products that should support something higher, something less tangible and more meaningful. 



The extrinsic rewards provide the base on which our true purpose can flourish, but they cannot stand in the way of our intrinsic desires, lest they kill our motivation and creativity.
“The richest experiences in our lives aren’t when we’re clamoring for validation from others, but when we’re listening to our own voice — doing something that matters, doing it well, and doing it in the service of a cause larger than ourselves.”
What engages and drives you beyond everything else? Have you found your purpose?


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Wednesday 9 November 2016

Will Smith - Ultimate Motivational Speeches



Do you agree with Will?

How to Achieve Your Goals Easily

In the last 6 months, I’ve experimented with a simple strategy that has improved my work and my health.



Using this one basic idea, I have made consistent progress on my goals every single week without incredible doses of willpower or remarkable motivation.

Today, I want to share how I use this strategy and how you can apply it to your own life to improve your health and your work.


 

The Problem with How We Usually Set Goals

If you’re anything like the typical human, then you have dreams and goals in your life. In fact, there are probably many things — large and small — that you would like to accomplish.
That’s great, but there is one common mistake we often make when it comes to setting goals. (I know I’ve committed this error many times myself.)

The problem is this: we set a deadline, but not a schedule.

We focus on the end goal that we want to achieve and the deadline we want to do it by. We say things like, “I want to lose 20 pounds by the summer” or “I want to add 50 pounds to my bench press in the next 12 weeks.”

The problem with this is that if we don’t magically hit the arbitrary timeline that we set in the beginning, then we feel like a failure … even if we are better off than we were at the start. The end result, sadly, is that we often give up if we don’t reach our goal by the initial deadline.

I’ve mentioned this idea multiple times before. For example, in making the mistake of putting performance goals before your identity or in choosing life–changing transformations over daily lifestyle choices.

Here’s the good news: there’s a better way and it’s simple.



The Power of Setting a Schedule, Not a Deadline

In my experience, a better way to approach your goals is to set a schedule to operate by rather than a deadline to perform by.

Instead of giving yourself a deadline to accomplish a particular goal by (and then feeling like a failure if you don’t achieve it), you should choose a goal that is important to you and then set a schedule to work towards it consistently.

That might not sound like a big shift, but it is.

How to Achieve Your Goals: The Idea in Practice

Most of the time, I try to be a practitioner of my ideas and not just someone who shares their opinion, so allow me to explain this strategy by using two real examples from my own life.

Example 1: Writing



As you know, I publish a new article every Monday and Thursday. Since my first article on November 12, 2012, I’ve never missed a scheduled date. Sometimes the article is shorter than expected, sometimes it’s not as compelling as I had hoped, and sometimes it’s not as useful as it could be … but it gets out to the world and into your inbox.

The results of this simple schedule have been amazing. Our little community has grown, seemingly without effort. We now have over 1,100 people (welcome friends!) who are committed to living a healthy life and who are actively supporting one another. Onwards to 5,000 strong!

Imagine if I had set a deadline for myself instead, like “get 1,000 subscribers in 12 weeks.” There’s no way I would have written every Monday and Thursday and if I didn’t reach my goal, then I would have felt like a failure.

Instead, we are slowly building one of the most incredible communities online. (By the way, thank you for all of the emails, tweets, and messages on fat loss, lifting weights, living longer, and forming better habits. Keep them coming! I’m always happy to get your questions and I’ll do my best to help however I can.)

Example 2: Exercise



Back in August, I decided that I wanted to do 100 pushups in a row with strict form. When I tried it the first time, I only got 36.

In the past, I might have set a deadline for myself: “Do 100 pushups by December 31st.”

Instead, I decided to set a schedule for my workouts. I started doing pushup workouts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So far, the only workouts I’ve missed were on long travel days from this trip in Istanbul and this trip in San Francisco.

I have no total pushup goal for any single workout. The goal is simply to do the workout. Just like I have no goal for any single article that I write. The goal is to publish the article.

The result, of course, is that after doing 77 pushup workouts I’ve made a lot of progress. If you’re interested, you can see every workout here.

Focus on the Practice, Not the Performance




Do you see how the two examples above are different than most goals we set for ourselves?
In both cases (writing and exercise), I made consistent progress towards my goals not by setting a deadline for my performance, but by sticking to a schedule.

Productive and successful people practice the things that are important to them on a consistent basis. The best weightlifters are in the gym at the same time every week. The best writers are sitting down at the keyboard every day. And this same principle applies to the best leaders, parents, managers, musicians, and doctors.

The strange thing is that for top performers, it’s not about the performance, it’s about the continual practice.

The focus is on doing the action, not on achieving X goal by a certain date.

The schedule is your friend. You can’t predict when you’ll have a stroke of genius and write a moving story, paint a beautiful portrait, or make an incredible picture, but the schedule can make sure that you’re working when that stroke of genius happens.

You can’t predict when your body feels like setting a new personal record, but the schedule can make sure that you’re in the gym whether you feel like it or not.

It’s about practicing the craft, not performing at a certain level. (We’re talking about practice. Not a game, not a game. Practice.)

If you want to be the type of person who accomplishes things on a consistent basis, then give yourself a schedule to follow, not a deadline to race towards.

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