Confident Thinking and Positive Action - Lessons From Science and Faith

It took me a visit to a recent conference of people of faith to see just how far we can drift from the positive over a period of time. You see, most of us may realise it on a superficial level, but not on a deep level that we are currently surrounded by a media and a world at large that is polluting our mental wellbeing with negativity. Eurocrisis here, unemployment hike there, nuclear fears over in the middle east, the list goes on, and for fear of bringing you down further I'll leave it there.

The thing is we already have our daily concerns. The weather, a loved one's health, house and car maintenance. We really don't need to take on other people's trash and hype on top of our already busy lives.

Beyond the maxim that 'bad news sells' I don't know why our 24 hour news culture is so committed to making us miserable. But it cannot be denied that there is a lot of hyperbole and exaggeration on a daily basis about how bad things are. I know you're not stupid and neither am I. The economy is not great, but there are signs of hope in the US, the engine of the world trade. Also, the Eurozone continues to hold together against the odds. If there is no good news coming towards us, why is that? Is it because the media thinks we want only bad news? For our own good as need to tune it out. The world is not nearly as bad as 24 hour news says it is. So, safeguard your mind from doomsayers. Watch less news. Don't read newspapers too much. This is not putting your head in the sand it is following a principle about taking in enough to know it, but not to wallow in, or you risk programme your mind for doomed. You probably know the phrase, 'You get what you focus on.' Its true, so don't focus on the negative.

At this conference, I realised that a fog of gloom had overtaken me for a while without me knowing. How did I realise? Because the people around me had massive faith! Faith is an antidote for depression, pessimism, cynicism, and fear. I hadn't seen nor heard such optimism in abundance for a long time, and boy, do we need that. Optimism makes things possible. It opens ths horizon, and helps us believe that life is worth living and that we can make massive strides towards the dreams we once kindled close to our hearts. Even if you say you don't believe in God, you still need to drink from a well of optimism, confidence and hope if you want to live to reach your fullest potential.

US preacher Joel Osteen seems very aware of the scientific tools of psychology and NLP when he says "Don't let negative pictures play on the movie screen of your mind. You are the director and the audience. You are in charge... change the channel...[instead] play the movie of you accomplishing your dreams." Osteen, It's Your Time, 2009.

This could easily be a life coaching manual. It could just as well be a psychologist. You see the worlds of faith and the science of psychology are so much closer than they realise, because virtually our whole life is played out in our minds. Water it and nurture it with good fertilizers and you will flourish, but if you allow yourself to be surrounded by negative people, and watch bad news all the time, you may end up bitter, angry and in regret. And I don't want that for you either. And if you don't want that for yourself then its time to call it a day.

It starts with choosing a different way, and fuelling it. Focus on the positive, declare that you want better from life, and choose to absorb things that will help you on that positive path with confidence and faith. Read nourishing literature, take a confidence course to build you up, and put what you learn into action.

There are few regrets on this positive path, only new horizons, and options explored. What have you got to lose? Nothing. But you could gain so much more.

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6 Actions You Can Take Every Day to Build Your Self-Confidence

Even the greatest leaders lack self-confidence at certain times. Self-confidence is not a static quality; rather, it’s a mindset that takes effort to maintain when the going gets rough. It must be learned, practiced and mastered just like any other skill. But once you master it, you will be changed for the better.

Here are six effective ways to promote your own self-confidence.

1. Act the part.

Your body language can instantly demonstrate self-assuredness, or it can scream insecurity. Present yourself in a way that says you are ready to master or take command of any situation. If you look confident and act the part you aspire to reach, you’ll not only feel in control, people will have much more confidence in you as well.

Hold your head high, sit up straight, gently bring your shoulders back to align your spine and look directly at the other person when interacting. Avoid a limp handshake and maintain good eye contact while someone is speaking to you.

2. Dress the part.

When you look better, you feel better. If you choose clothing and accessories that fit you well, suit your industry and lifestyle, and make you feel good, this will automatically increase your self-esteem. Look like the part you want to play, or in other words, suit up for success. Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine in your accessories. Bold jewelry or a colorful tie can be a focal point and a good conversation starter.

3. Speak assertively.

The next time you listen to your favorite speaker, be mindful of the way he or she delivers a speech. A great speaker speaks confidently, in a steady, rhythmic tone. Instead of the “ums” and “ahs” that interrupt flow, they use pauses to emphasize ideas.

Adopt an assertive, but not aggressive, way of speaking that indicates your self-confidence. You will feel your self-esteem begin to rise. To be taken seriously, avoid high-pitched, nervous chatter or twittering giggles in your speech. People will listen to you more attentively when they see the leader radiate from within you.

4. Think and act positively.

Positive energy leads to positive outcomes, so set your mind to the can-do side of any situation, avoiding the negative self-talk that can make you feel less confident. Smile, laugh and surround yourself with happy, positive people. You’ll feel better and the people with whom you work will enjoy your company.
 

Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the high points of your day and your accomplishments. You will develop more peace and confidence when you are in a grateful state of mind.

5. Take action.

There’s more to being confident than just how you look. You must act the part. Walk up to a stranger at a networking event, or accept a project you’d normally reject. Practice being self-confident and soon it will become second nature.

 
Inaction breeds doubt and fear, while action breeds confidence and courage. As an exercise, jot down your strengths and weaknesses. Most people will tell you to work on your weaknesses, but use what you've got and capitalize on your strengths instead. Once you put more energy into your positive traits, your confidence will start to shine through.

6. Be prepared.

Remember the five P’s: Prior planning prevents poor performance. The more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll feel about your expertise and competency. Preparation will help you avoid getting tripped up by life’s unexpected glitches.

Learn everything you can about your industry, your subject matter, your goals and what drives you towards success. Before you start a task, first imagine how you want to feel once you’ve completed it. Don’t try to accomplish too much at once. Break complex tasks up into small, bite-size, manageable pieces.

As U.S. Army General Creighton Williams Abrams Jr. once said, “When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.” If you have patience and perseverance, you are only steps away from a more confident you.


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