Most of us have dreams. We see ourselves in a great job, imagine
being in the ideal relationship, living in a great neighborhood,
writing, creating visual art... But we're not there, and we don't seem
to be getting any closer to being there. Why is that, and how do we
change it? How do we move from dream to actuality
Dreams are a Great Beginning
The things we imagine come from someplace deeper than our conscious mind. The place in us that is like a powerful, winding river, inexorably moving under the surface of consciousness. Moving us along our life's path, whether we know it or not, whether we want to go that way or not. Moving us in the direction of being wholly who we are. This is the place of inspiration, the place that brings ideal visions to our minds. Unfortunately, most of us are too busy anxiously trying to navigate the boulders and branches in the river to notice where the river seems to be moving us.
The First Step is Awareness
Awareness of the dream, of what we're longing for. Taking the vision seriously-more seriously than the boulders and branches. Letting it flesh itself out; dreaming into the details. If you're in a relationship that isn't quite working for you, notice what your vision of the ideal relationship consists of. What stands in the way of having that in your current relationship? Is it only something your partner habitually does, or is it also because you haven't let him or her know how their behavior affects you, and what you need in the relationship? If you feel stuck in your job, are there things you can do to change it, or could you move into a job that matches you better? If you'd like to start writing, painting or photography, is it really that there's no time or is it something else?
Overcoming the Fear
One thing that's in the way when we try to move from dream to reality is that when we think about doing it, a kind of lethargy or fatigue comes over us. This feeling is often just (just!) fear of the unknown, and when it's allowed to go on for a while, it can turn into depression. The lethargy is something inside saying "You can't do that; you don't know how; you're not good enough/smart enough; it's too risky." The vision is energizing, but when you take it seriously enough to actually think about taking a step in that direction, the inner fear takes over.
Fear is Okay
Fear is natural, because you're contemplating jumping into the unknown. Notice all the details of the fear and have a dialogue with it, as if it's a character inside of you. Often, it's actually a part of you that's trying to protect you. Let it tell you what it's afraid of. Then, together, come up with a way to take what it's saying into account. That often makes it easier to begin to move from dream to reality.
Now We're Moving!
Now you can take the first step. One of the best ways to start-keeping your vision in mind-is to divide getting there into small pieces. Notice which one is the easiest and do that one first, then enjoy your accomplishment. After that, either it gets easier to go one step after the other or you do the next easiest and enjoy your accomplishment. For example, if you hate your job and you've decided to move on, make a list of all the salient parts of the ideal job of your dreams. Does it involve interacting with a lot of people or being alone? Is it outside, in an office or maybe in a mixture of settings? Do you have fixed hours or flexible hours? What kinds of activities are involved? Etc., etc.
Now, do some research on the kinds of jobs that meet all or at least some of your vision. Do you already have all the education, skills and experience to move into such a job, or do you need to acquire more of some of them? If you do need more skills or education, what's the first thing you can do? What's the easiest thing? If you already have all that's required, what is the easiest step you can take to move in the direction of being in that job.
Now, Actually Do It!
That's the really important thing to move from dream to actuality-you have to actually do something. Darn it! So many times, the dream is so satisfying. Unfortunately, imagining yourself in the new, better situation is way easier than getting yourself to actually do what it takes to get there. One solution: creating a concrete activity and setting yourself a deadline for getting it done. Once you've accomplished the activity, give yourself credit, celebrate. Then create the next concrete activity and another deadline. Give yourself consequences for not doing it. For example, I can't do "x" until I've done the next step. Then ask, "Did I do the step? If not, what's stopping me?" It could be that fear voice from above, in which case, have the dialogue again and find out how to assuage the fear so that you can move on.
If You Need Help
If you do all of what's described above, you'll find yourself in the place of your dream.
Dreams are a Great Beginning
The things we imagine come from someplace deeper than our conscious mind. The place in us that is like a powerful, winding river, inexorably moving under the surface of consciousness. Moving us along our life's path, whether we know it or not, whether we want to go that way or not. Moving us in the direction of being wholly who we are. This is the place of inspiration, the place that brings ideal visions to our minds. Unfortunately, most of us are too busy anxiously trying to navigate the boulders and branches in the river to notice where the river seems to be moving us.
The First Step is Awareness
Awareness of the dream, of what we're longing for. Taking the vision seriously-more seriously than the boulders and branches. Letting it flesh itself out; dreaming into the details. If you're in a relationship that isn't quite working for you, notice what your vision of the ideal relationship consists of. What stands in the way of having that in your current relationship? Is it only something your partner habitually does, or is it also because you haven't let him or her know how their behavior affects you, and what you need in the relationship? If you feel stuck in your job, are there things you can do to change it, or could you move into a job that matches you better? If you'd like to start writing, painting or photography, is it really that there's no time or is it something else?
Overcoming the Fear
One thing that's in the way when we try to move from dream to reality is that when we think about doing it, a kind of lethargy or fatigue comes over us. This feeling is often just (just!) fear of the unknown, and when it's allowed to go on for a while, it can turn into depression. The lethargy is something inside saying "You can't do that; you don't know how; you're not good enough/smart enough; it's too risky." The vision is energizing, but when you take it seriously enough to actually think about taking a step in that direction, the inner fear takes over.
Fear is Okay
Fear is natural, because you're contemplating jumping into the unknown. Notice all the details of the fear and have a dialogue with it, as if it's a character inside of you. Often, it's actually a part of you that's trying to protect you. Let it tell you what it's afraid of. Then, together, come up with a way to take what it's saying into account. That often makes it easier to begin to move from dream to reality.
Now We're Moving!
Now you can take the first step. One of the best ways to start-keeping your vision in mind-is to divide getting there into small pieces. Notice which one is the easiest and do that one first, then enjoy your accomplishment. After that, either it gets easier to go one step after the other or you do the next easiest and enjoy your accomplishment. For example, if you hate your job and you've decided to move on, make a list of all the salient parts of the ideal job of your dreams. Does it involve interacting with a lot of people or being alone? Is it outside, in an office or maybe in a mixture of settings? Do you have fixed hours or flexible hours? What kinds of activities are involved? Etc., etc.
Now, do some research on the kinds of jobs that meet all or at least some of your vision. Do you already have all the education, skills and experience to move into such a job, or do you need to acquire more of some of them? If you do need more skills or education, what's the first thing you can do? What's the easiest thing? If you already have all that's required, what is the easiest step you can take to move in the direction of being in that job.
Now, Actually Do It!
That's the really important thing to move from dream to actuality-you have to actually do something. Darn it! So many times, the dream is so satisfying. Unfortunately, imagining yourself in the new, better situation is way easier than getting yourself to actually do what it takes to get there. One solution: creating a concrete activity and setting yourself a deadline for getting it done. Once you've accomplished the activity, give yourself credit, celebrate. Then create the next concrete activity and another deadline. Give yourself consequences for not doing it. For example, I can't do "x" until I've done the next step. Then ask, "Did I do the step? If not, what's stopping me?" It could be that fear voice from above, in which case, have the dialogue again and find out how to assuage the fear so that you can move on.
If You Need Help
If you do all of what's described above, you'll find yourself in the place of your dream.
Sometimes it takes getting some help from a coach.
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