Is Shyness Genetic? These New Scientific Facts Reveal The Answer

If you have been shy all your life, then it is easy to believe that shyness could be genetic. For example, I used to be shy as far back as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories are of hiding behind my mother's leg when guests came over to visit. That's how shy I was!

But then there are other cases. Many people find that they were never shy as a child, but as they become teenagers or adolescents, they start becoming more withdrawn and introverted. Some people may see this happening and say it's a "phase" they're going through, but often these changes stay with someone even as they become an adult.

So what's the answer? Is shyness genetic or a personality trait or something else altogether? Many people think that shyness is just something someone is born with, like their eye color or height. However, new scientific evidence proves otherwise.

What scientists and psychologists have discovered is that shyness is not genetic in the sense that it is engrained into your genes. If a scientist were to look into your DNA, they would not find a "shy gene" that makes you the way you are. So shyness is not genetic in the way most people would assume.

However, scientists have also found that your genes may have had a role to play in causing your shyness. Some people may have a certain gene that makes it easier for them to eventually become shy. The catch is, they only become shy when their gene is combined with a variety of other environmental factors.

Let me explain this in more detail. Whenever someone asks a question about the cause of their shyness, it's always tricky to answer. The reason why is that shyness does not have one single cause like many diseases would. Shyness is multi-determined, which means that several different factors must work together to cause it in a given person.

Some of the factors in causing shyness are genetic, they are things you are born with. Other factors are environmental, for example: what your parents were like, your early childhood experiences, the culture you grew up in, etc. Although some people may be more likely to become shy because of a part of their genes, this does not mean that they will become shy for sure. It also means that someone without the "shyness causing gene" may also become shy if put into the right environment.

Although genetic factors do come into play when causing shyness, it doesn't mean that shyness is a part of your genes like most people would assume. Your shyness is not permanent and can be overcome regardless of your biology.

If you found this article: "Is Shyness Genetic?" helpful, then click to learn more about how to overcome shyness at my blog.

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Relaxation Techniques For Coping With Social Anxiety

If you are suffering from social anxiety, then you must know how awful it feels when you are feeling anxious. Not only does your mind race and you feel insecure and awful inside, but you also have physical symptoms outside. Everyone can see you as you sweat for no reason, shake uncontrollably, and blush at the worst possible moment.

In this article I'm going to show you how you can cope with these physical symptoms so people can't see you are feeling anxious. You'll be able to get some control over your physical symptoms of social anxiety. And since you will no longer have to worry about how you look to others, your actual anxiety will also go down significantly. The technique I'm going to teach you has to do with relaxation. Relaxation is the opposite of anxiety. By consciously choosing to make yourself more relaxed, you will be able to control your anxiety.

How does the technique work? There are two parts to it. The first part is learning how to become more relaxed by yourself in the comfort of your own home. The second part is using the technique in real life to help you become more relaxed when you most need it. Believe me, the relaxation technique I'm about to show you is a godsend when it comes time to face a social situation you are most afraid of.

So the first part of the technique is to sit or lay down somewhere where you are comfortable. It is best if you are by yourself so you feel as little anxiety as possible. Now go through your body and relax every part of it. Start at your head and move your way down to your feet, relaxing each muscle group as you pass it. First relax your forehead, let your jaw go loose, drop your shoulders. The idea is to let go of as much tension as you possibly can. If it helps, you can also try imagining a relaxing beach or stream in your head. Then just lay there for a few minutes and try to get the feel of how it feels like to be totally relaxed.

The second part is to then take this relaxed feeling into your daily life. Throughout the day, remember to relax your muscle groups individually. Go as relaxed and limp as you can get. The more relaxed you can make your body become, the more your anxiety will begin to go away.

Remember, step one is to practice becoming relaxed inside your home. Many socially anxious people are so tensed up all the time they do not really know how relaxation feels like. The second step is to become more relaxed as you are around people. The best time to use this technique is when you are feeling especially anxious.

If you want to learn more sure-fire techniques about coping with social anxiety, then click to check out my blog on overcoming social anxiety here.

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Is Shyness Bad? Here's The Pros And Cons Of Being Shy

Is shyness good or bad? For many shy people, it's a difficult question to answer. They don't know if it would be better to accept themselves as they are, or to to try and change the way they are. For many this is a difficult struggle to figure out.

In this article I will give you both sides of the issue so you can come to your own decision. If you do decide shyness is something you would like to overcome, then I'll give you a couple of resources at the bottom of this article to start doing so.

Before I get into the cons of shyness, let's take a look at some of the good things that come with shyness, the first one is more alone time to do whatever you like. If you are shy, you have plenty of time for any solitary activities you'd like to do, including reading, drawing, writing, thinking, and so on. You never have to compromise for someone else and do something you're not very enthusiastic about. Shyness also lets you become more deeply interested in any hobbies you may have. Many shy people find they are able to get very good at playing their favorite video games because they have so much time to practice.

On the other hand, there are also many bad things about being shy. The biggest one is loneliness. You may start to feel isolated from other people if you are too shy to make at least a couple friends. If you are very shy, then you may not be able to ask out that girl or guy you are attracted to. You might also reject many opportunities to go out and have fun because of your fear of meeting new people. You will not be able to enjoy parties as much. You will find it harder to find a job and relate to your coworkers. Overall, your life would become more independent of other people. Many people who are shy also have insecurities and low self-esteem. Shyness makes you more alone, on both the outside and inside.

In summary, the main benefit of shyness is more free time, the downside is that you may have no one to spend that time with. Now that you know both the benefits and downsides to being shy, will you choose to accept it or try to overcome it? The choice is up to you.

If you want to find out more, click here for some simple steps to overcome either shyness or social anxiety. 

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Social Anxiety Tips - 3 Ways To Lower Your Fear

Learning some quick tips and techniques can be the best way to start overcoming your social anxiety. The three main areas to focus on are your thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Attacking your social anxiety from these three areas at the same time will have a compounding effect on the results you get. Focus on the ones you have the most difficulty with now, and then move on to the others.

Your thoughts and how you manage them can have a substantial impact. If you have time, look into cognitive behavioral therapy for a complete set of tools on managing your thoughts. If you just want to try some quick techniques out right now, then keep reading this article. One way to lower your anxious thoughts is to accept them. It sound like a contradiction, but it isn't. Once you fully accept yourself, even down to your anxious thoughts, which are a "flaw," then you'll feel a lot less inferior to others. If you have thoughts or feelings of inadequacy or inferiority often, then it usually just comes down to accepting yourself and then working towards a better future at the same time.

Also try thinking a lot less. Most socially anxious people think way too much, which makes them stuck inside their head. If you can slow down your anxious thoughts by switching your focus to the people around you, then you should be able to think a lot less, which will make you less anxious.

If you have social anxiety, then it's normal to feel lonely, sad and depressed. Unfortunately, these are the exact types of emotions that will drive off potential friendships or relationships. People don't like to be around people who are sad and depressed all the time. Instead, you want to be fun and happy a good deal of the time. How do you do this? Try smiling. The simple act of smiling actually releases chemicals in your brain that start to make you feel more happy automatically If you don't believe me, then try it for yourself. How much different do you feel when you are slouched over and looking bored versus sitting up straight with a huge smile on your face?

The last tip I'll show you is the one which may make the most lasting changes to your level of social anxiety. Here it is: face your fears directly. It may sound like impractical advice if you are very socially anxious. In that case, you need to start with small fears and build your way up. Maybe try to make and hold eye contact outside with three people outside today and then move on to bigger fears.

If you want to learn more ways of coping with social anxiety, then click.

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Overcome Shyness - Two Easy Ways To Get Rid Of Nervousness

In our modern culture, everyone is focused on becoming more social, popular, and liked--since all of these personality traits come with many benefits. Extroverted people generally have more friends, fun and success than introverts. They also tend to suffer from loneliness and depression less. Becoming more outgoing and social is about living life to the fullest, unafraid to express yourself or go after what you want in life. Since being extroverted has so many benefits to it, it makes sense to want to get rid of your shyness.

Getting your conversation skills up to speed is one quick and easy way to start becoming less introverted. In particular, you want to start becoming more impulsive in what you say. While there are some situations, like job interviews, where you want to be very careful about what you say, in most you should focus on talking more often and more spontaneously. This is going to sound bad, but try not to think too much before you speak in informal social situations. If you put too much effort into everything you say, you'll come across as a try-hard. By being spontaneous and just letting the words flow, you become easy-going, which is what people like.

In some situations you can probably already talk to people easily and spontaneously. It could be around your family, your niece or nephew, or talking to a close friend. However, when around people you don't know well or are intimidated of, you aren't able to act the same way. Your shyness gets in the way. A lot of the time, this issue can fix itself through gradual exposure. An intimidating stranger soon become a close friend if you hang around him several times. By spending more time with people you'll start to get the hang of talking to strangers. Believe it or not, how well you make conversation is not a talent you were born with, but a skill set. Just like riding a bicycle, the more you practice this skill set the better you will become and the easier you'll find it to be relaxed around new people

In lowering your levels of nervousness when talking to people, there are many useful techniques to help you relax. Relaxation has the effect of demonstrating to your brain that there is nothing to be afraid of in this situations, which makes your brain's anxiety lessen. You want that: nothing kills feelings of nervousness and anxiety faster than physical relaxation.

Your relaxation routine should be structured in a way that gets you the maximum results in overcoming shyness. It is not an event, it is a process. It is more effective to implement relaxation as a new routine rather than try it out one time incorrectly when you are in the middle of a full-blown anxiety attack. It will be the compounding of accumulated change that yields the most substantial results. Set aside some time every day to practice relaxation. This will let you become relaxed when you are feeling at your most tense and nervous around people.

If you'd like to learn more about overcoming shyness, then click to read more on shyness and social anxiety.

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How To Get Over Shyness - The One Mistake Most Shy People Make

Do you really want to know how to get rid of shyness? Are you prepared to forget everything you thought you knew about being less shy and replace it with the truth? Then read on.

The one biggest mistake I see shy people making is being controlled by their emotions. Nearly all shy people make this basic mistake.

• If you avoid people who make you feel shy, then you are being controlled by your emotions.
• If you avoid public speaking because it makes you feel anxious, you are being controlled by your emotions.
• If you don't do something just because it makes you feel nervous or afraid, then you are being controlled by your emotions.

I hate to repeat myself, but this is an absolutely essential point. In order to get over your shyness, you have to become less controlled by your emotions. This doesn't mean to suppress your emotions, it simply means to act in spite of them. Mark Twain was the one who said "Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it."

That is the ability you need to build if you want to overcome your shyness. You have to have the ability to act in spite of feeling a certain emotion. This means that if you feel afraid to do something, you do it anyway. Act in spite of fear.

• If you raise your hand in class even though it makes you nervous, you are acting in spite of fear.
• If you talk to people even though they make you feel shy, then you're no longer being controlled by your emotions.
• If you talk to groups and make public presentations, then you are the one in charge now, not your fear.

Once you start acting in spite of fear, you will become more relaxed and easygoing in situations which used to make you nervous and shy. When you stop avoiding your fears, you allow your mind to desensitize to them. In psychology, this is also called habituation.

This approach is very common for therapists to use on someone with social anxiety. In cognitive-behavioral therapy, the "behavioral" part is acting in spite of fear. Of course, many shy people can't or are not able to simply "face their fears."

This is why changes to your thinking are also a necessary part of getting over shyness. That's the cognitive part of cognitive-behavioral therapy.

If you want to learn proven strategies and techniques for overcoming shyness that go far beyond "face your fears" and "what's the worst that can happen ", then click to check out Sean Cooper's on how to overcome shyness.

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How can you avoid getting distracted frequently when working?

If you are having trouble focusing and getting distracted, then here is a bit of an antidote which might help to put things into perspective. 

This is the script from the scene when Tyler and the protagonist are outside of a grocery store about to shoot the store clerk from the movie Fight Club. Basically life is too short, decide what you want, go out and do it, regret weighs heavy and you are going to die.

Voice-over: On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everybody drops to zero.

Narrator: Stop! What are we doing? Come on! God!

Tyler Durden: Hands behind your back. Give me your wallet.

 [The clerk, now kneeling, hands him his wallet.]

Tyler Durden: Raymond K. Hessel. 1320 South East spanning apartment A. Small cramped basement apartment, Raymond?

Raymond K. Hessel: How did you know?

Tyler Durden: 'Cause they give shitty basement apartments letters instead of numbers. Raymond, you are going to die.

[Raymond begins to cry. Tyler examines content of the wallet.]

Tyler Durden: Is that your mom and dad? Mom and Dad are going to have to call up kindly Doctor So-and-so. Pick up your dental records. Wanna know why? Because there's gonna be nothing left of your face.

Narrator: Oh come on, come on.

Tyler Durden: An expired community college student ID. What did you study, Raymond?

Raymond K. Hessel: S-stuff.

Tyler Durden: Stuff? Were the mid-terms hard? I asked you what you studied!

Raymond K. Hessel: Biology mostly.

Tyler Durden: Why?

Raymond K. Hessel: I don't know.

Tyler Durden: What did you wanna be, Raymond K. Hessel? The question, Raymond! Was "What did you want to be"?!

Narrator: Answer him, Raymond! Jesus!

Raymond K. Hessel: Veterinarian, veterinarian.

Tyler Durden: Animals.

Raymond K. Hessel: Yeah animals and stuff.

Tyler Durden: And stuff, yeah I got that. That means you have to get more schooling.

Raymond K. Hessel: Too much school.

Tyler Durden: Would you rather be dead? Would you rather die? Here, on your knees in the back of a convenience store?

Raymond K. Hessel: No, please no!

[Tyler takes his gun down, takes out Raymond's driver's license throwing the wallet in front of Raymond.]

Tyler Durden: I'm keeping your license. I'm gonna check in on you. I know where you live. If you're not on your way to becoming a veterinarian in six weeks, you will be dead. Now run on home.

[Raymond gets up and runs into the night.]

Tyler Durden: Run Forrest, run!

Narrator: I feel ill.

Tyler Durden: Imagine how he feels.

Narrator: Come on, this isn't funny! That wasn't funny. What the fuck was the point of that?!

Tyler Durden: Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.

Voice-over: You had to give it to him. He had a plan. And it started to make sense in a Tyler sort of way. No fear, no distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.”

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