Is Shyness Genetic? These New Scientific Facts Reveal The Answer

If you have been shy all your life, then it is easy to believe that shyness could be genetic. For example, I used to be shy as far back as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories are of hiding behind my mother's leg when guests came over to visit. That's how shy I was!

But then there are other cases. Many people find that they were never shy as a child, but as they become teenagers or adolescents, they start becoming more withdrawn and introverted. Some people may see this happening and say it's a "phase" they're going through, but often these changes stay with someone even as they become an adult.

So what's the answer? Is shyness genetic or a personality trait or something else altogether? Many people think that shyness is just something someone is born with, like their eye color or height. However, new scientific evidence proves otherwise.

What scientists and psychologists have discovered is that shyness is not genetic in the sense that it is engrained into your genes. If a scientist were to look into your DNA, they would not find a "shy gene" that makes you the way you are. So shyness is not genetic in the way most people would assume.

However, scientists have also found that your genes may have had a role to play in causing your shyness. Some people may have a certain gene that makes it easier for them to eventually become shy. The catch is, they only become shy when their gene is combined with a variety of other environmental factors.

Let me explain this in more detail. Whenever someone asks a question about the cause of their shyness, it's always tricky to answer. The reason why is that shyness does not have one single cause like many diseases would. Shyness is multi-determined, which means that several different factors must work together to cause it in a given person.

Some of the factors in causing shyness are genetic, they are things you are born with. Other factors are environmental, for example: what your parents were like, your early childhood experiences, the culture you grew up in, etc. Although some people may be more likely to become shy because of a part of their genes, this does not mean that they will become shy for sure. It also means that someone without the "shyness causing gene" may also become shy if put into the right environment.

Although genetic factors do come into play when causing shyness, it doesn't mean that shyness is a part of your genes like most people would assume. Your shyness is not permanent and can be overcome regardless of your biology.

If you found this article: "Is Shyness Genetic?" helpful, then click to learn more about how to overcome shyness at my blog.

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Relaxation Techniques For Coping With Social Anxiety

If you are suffering from social anxiety, then you must know how awful it feels when you are feeling anxious. Not only does your mind race and you feel insecure and awful inside, but you also have physical symptoms outside. Everyone can see you as you sweat for no reason, shake uncontrollably, and blush at the worst possible moment.

In this article I'm going to show you how you can cope with these physical symptoms so people can't see you are feeling anxious. You'll be able to get some control over your physical symptoms of social anxiety. And since you will no longer have to worry about how you look to others, your actual anxiety will also go down significantly. The technique I'm going to teach you has to do with relaxation. Relaxation is the opposite of anxiety. By consciously choosing to make yourself more relaxed, you will be able to control your anxiety.

How does the technique work? There are two parts to it. The first part is learning how to become more relaxed by yourself in the comfort of your own home. The second part is using the technique in real life to help you become more relaxed when you most need it. Believe me, the relaxation technique I'm about to show you is a godsend when it comes time to face a social situation you are most afraid of.

So the first part of the technique is to sit or lay down somewhere where you are comfortable. It is best if you are by yourself so you feel as little anxiety as possible. Now go through your body and relax every part of it. Start at your head and move your way down to your feet, relaxing each muscle group as you pass it. First relax your forehead, let your jaw go loose, drop your shoulders. The idea is to let go of as much tension as you possibly can. If it helps, you can also try imagining a relaxing beach or stream in your head. Then just lay there for a few minutes and try to get the feel of how it feels like to be totally relaxed.

The second part is to then take this relaxed feeling into your daily life. Throughout the day, remember to relax your muscle groups individually. Go as relaxed and limp as you can get. The more relaxed you can make your body become, the more your anxiety will begin to go away.

Remember, step one is to practice becoming relaxed inside your home. Many socially anxious people are so tensed up all the time they do not really know how relaxation feels like. The second step is to become more relaxed as you are around people. The best time to use this technique is when you are feeling especially anxious.

If you want to learn more sure-fire techniques about coping with social anxiety, then click to check out my blog on overcoming social anxiety here.

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How to overcome procrastination.

 I was recently asked the question "I spend the whole time worrying and avoiding finishing my tasks and then at the last minute I rush to finish it, been most of my life doing that, how can I cure that?"

Most people have experienced this kind of issue at some points in their lives. There are a number of underlying causes and there are also habitual causes.

With regards the to the underlying causes, there can be issues around self confidence, (anxiety about the work not being good enough or having such an unrealisitically high expectation of the completed task, that you feel too overwhelmed to start - also known as perfectionism).

First understand that there are very few tasks for most people that need to be completed at 100% perfection. There are some scenarios where this is necessary, but for most people this just doesn’t apply. Work to an acceptable level of completion. Often perfectionism comes from a deep rooted fear of criticism, so subconsiously, rather than accept the criticism, procrastinators will put things off and then when there is any kind of negative feedback, they can justify it as not having enough time to complete the task properly. This of course is a self delusion which prevents you from every delivering a consistently decent level of work and will ultimately rob you of any future opportunities, because you have been unable to deliver work to a good standard, because you keep putting off starting in the first place.

Understand, that to deliver at a high standard does not require 100% perfection. The standard of most people’s work is so low in my experience, even if you deliver 75% standard work, in most cases this is ok, and if it isn’t, then you will still have plenty of time to improve it. Beyond the 80% level, you will often get diminishing returns on the quality of your work, so in most cases it is not worth completing the work beyond this level.

When I started working for myself, one of the most helpful and productive things that I learned, was to have a very low standard of success. This seems very counterintuitive to most advice out there, however, it meant that I could at least get some success on most days. Even the days that felt like there was very little progress made, I knew that if I was a litter further on, then I was still on my way. Subconsiously, this keeps you moving forward one step at a time. This can only be really applied if you don’t have any external deadlines.

If you do have external deadlines, then you will need to prioritise your work. (you can see one of my other responses in another article on how to do this).

The second aspect to the issues are habitual and this will involve you having to change some behaviours. One of the most powerful techniques to get you moving is something called the Pomodoro Technique. All that is required, is for you to commit to starting a task for no more than 10 minutes. Set a timer, and then just keep working on the task for 10 minutes without distraction or interuption until the timer ends. Once you are going, you will find it easier to keep going and then you will find that you will make more progress on your tasks.

Ultimately you need to realise that worrying accomplished nothing apart from taking your self confidence and control away from your situation. You need to first of all personally take responsibility for your actions and inactions. Then you need to be clear about what it is that you need to accomplish. Following that, prioritise your tasks, then begin, and don’t worry about it being perfect or not. As your self discipline improves with these suggestions, you will find that you will be able to complete things more quickly, and the standard of work will gradually improve, but you have to start somewhere where you can actually win, otherwise you will just continue to feel terrible about things.

One other little tip is to have a place where you can work without distraction. That means no phones, emails, notifications or social media.

In the end our lives are made up of time. Time wasted on things that are not moving your life forward or making any contribution to your life is wasted life. Life is too short as it is, so don’t spend another moment worrying, and just do what you can, where you are with what you have.

I have two recommendations of books which should be really helpful below. You can order them by clicking on the image. 

Good Luck.

Haroon